[Sweet_chick16]

Hi
I have been wanting to talk to someone about my situation. Me and my ex have been on and off for 2 years nearly. I say on and off that's because he leaves then comes back. Well most of the times he left was only for a few days longest 5days up until Christmas last year he left 17th December and said he didn't want a relationship anymore he's really sorry he loves me too pieces but he wants to live his life and do things. He got a flat, done his motorbike test but failed then not long after we started talking again and working together (we sell second hand furniture together) he sed that he doesn't want to lose me out of his life completely so let's just be good friends. We started sleeping together, kissing, cuddling, him staying over etc.. then he said let's book a holiday so we went away and when we come back he ended up staying with me every night like he was living back here. We went on 2 more holidays and it was all going great then in august we booked another holiday for 1st sept... it was 25th august my life turned upside down again we argued and he left and said he doesn't want this anymore he wants to be free and do his own thing I said please don't do this I love you so much and so does my daughter he brought her up from 3months old she's now 2 and 3months. I sed we're going on holiday he sed I'm sorry nat I'm not coming with you please go and enjoy yourself I begged and begged and he wouldn't change his mind. He started going raving and taking drugs with his mates every weekend and to festivals I went on holiday on my own. He commented on my pics on fb and wrote lovely things on my wall that he was so sorry and he really wants me to have a good time. I thought wen I come back things might change but it didn't he still didn't want to come back. I had his fb password and I saw messaged hundreds of messages to lots of random girls being flirty and adding lots of random girls It broke me. He went on a bit of a downer his mum sed he was crying one day and said he don't know who he is anymore and needed to get away he got a one way ticket to Amsterdam stayed there for 2days then went to Milan for 3 he rung me at 1am wen he got to Milan and sed he was bored and lonely and didn't know what he wants out of life he sed I came to find myself now I've lost myself. I told him to come home but he decided to stay for a few days. He had a txt to say his motorbike test was on the Tuesday so he rung me and asked me to book it for him and gave me his card details he came back Saturday night he txt me and sed I have a pressie for u it's nothing special but thought I would get u something. Then he was mad the next day as he came home to a flat tyre and he assumed I had done it he told me to **** off and never speak to him again I was so sad again. I tried to call all day and night but nothing he had gone raving with his mates again. The next day my friend called him and he sed I'm a lovely girl but he doesn't want to be with anyone he wants to live his life how he wants and be free he sed I like taking drugs and waking up in a ditch or in my van I just want to enjoy my life. That week passed then I noticed he blocked me on fb I had already deleted him weeks before as it was hurting me seeing stuff so I txt and asked why he didn't respond then I txt him and told him I've seen everything on his fb I'm so hurt he went mad and sed he's guna get me nicked he didn't he was just mad he calmed down after a lot of abusive messages he told me he doesn't hate me. He made a new fb account and changed his number I messaged him on fb and asked him why he sed he still has his other number I sed can I have ur new one he sed no u don't need it I was so sad he was getting mad again and telling me to leave him alone and move on so I sed goodbye Carl he sed I'm sorry nat that was the last I've heard last Thursday.
Now I want to know is he in a manic episode and will he ever come back? See he's adamant it's over but all the other times he left me he was adamant. I just cry everyday I love him so much and want to be there for him I understand he's not well but he won't take the meds. I really don't want to lose him he's my life and I love him with all my heart I just miss him so much.
Please let me know your thoughts. I don't want to move on
Thank you
Natalie

[bioChE]

Sorry to say, but what you've described is a seriously dis functional relationship. I'd suggest you move on, even though you don't want to.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

Sorry it's so painful, but I couldn't agree with bioChE more. This isn't healthy for you, for him, or for your child. Letting go can be a very hard thing to do.

[Sweet_chick16]

Thanks for your replies I have no choice but to let go :'( he's moving on without me I'm so so sad :'(

[Sweet_chick16]

My question was do u think he will come back being manic high at the moment? Surely he will crash and realise won't he?