[earthangel1]

I have a job, which everyone thinks is a dream job, taking care of an old man with second stage dementia. I cook and clean for him, visit with him, watch tv with him. But here's the problem: he yells ALOT. Mostly at his 7 cats, which I let sleep with me and give them attention. He is better now on remeron and belsomra, but before he was waking up in the middle of the night screaming at his cats and kicking them, hitting them with a broom. I can't stand yelling/violence. It puts my stomach in knots. I will keep the job as he's improved, but also take time off for myself to listen to music and play a video game. The agency I work through told me to take time off while working with him. I haven't done that yet, because I'm such a caretaker. I'm that way with my family, relationships, friendships. I always want to take care of someone. And sometimes to my demise. My ex-boyfriend called and told me he was going to commit suicide and he lives in Mexico City now so I was trying to calm him down for like 2 hours and he said, "I'm coming to live with you." I have no boundaries, with my job, family, relationships, friendships. This job is actually hard on me.

[JustJace2u]

I spent many years as a CNA taking care of multiple patients with Alzheimer's and dementia, it is definitely not an easy task at times, but can also feel rewarding at times as well.

[gayleggg]

Taking care of the elderly can take it's toll on anyone. Take time for yourself.

My grandmother who had Alzheimer's lived with us for a few years when I was 11 through 12. My parents would go on weekend vacations and I would be left to care for her and give her shots. She wasn't violent and never yelled....she was much like a child. She "felt" younger than I was at the time but didn't look younger of course. There was YOUTH in her eyes and expressions though.

It takes a very special person to care for our elderly and some are very difficult. I personally cannot STAND screaming and yelling if it's a constant thing....makes me jump out of my skin and have panic attacks. (Probably due to the screaming in my childhood). It makes me feel so small, powerless and stuck. I wouldn't be able to handle what you are enduring right now. But it does sound like you've found your calling in the care giving world and I wish to thank you for your service. If it becomes too much for you, please recognize this and take the time off that you need to remain at your best. ((((Hugs)))

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

My grandmother who had Alzheimer's lived with us for a few years when I was 11 through 12. My parents would go on weekend vacations and I would be left to care for her and give her shots. She wasn't violent and never yelled....she was much like a child. She "felt" younger than I was at the time but didn't look younger of course. There was YOUTH in her eyes and expressions though.

It takes a very special person to care for our elderly and some are very difficult. I personally cannot STAND screaming and yelling if it's a constant thing....makes me jump out of my skin and have panic attacks. (Probably due to the screaming in my childhood). It makes me feel so small, powerless and stuck. I wouldn't be able to handle what you are enduring right now. But it does sound like you've found your calling in the care giving world and I wish to thank you for your service. If it becomes too much for you, please recognize this and take the time off that you need to remain at your best. ((((Hugs)))

I finally had to give it up because it became too much for me. At the time I wasn't sure why, but knowing what I know now it all sort of makes sense to me.

[TimTheEnchanter]

Listen to the agency - take some time off! Cheers!

[BipolaRNurse]

I am concerned about the man's pets. He should not have any because he abuses them. I'm sure that doesn't help your mental health either to watch this happen. Please let his family know what's happening and that if nothing is done, you're going to call your local Humane Society or ASPCA to deal with the problem. It doesn't matter that he has dementia, it's not OK to beat and kick helpless animals.

Meanwhile, remember to take care of yourself and tend to your own needs. You cannot pour from an empty vessel.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I am concerned about the man's pets. He should not have any because he abuses them. I'm sure that doesn't help your mental health either to watch this happen. Please let his family know what's happening and that if nothing is done, you're going to call your local Humane Society or ASPCA to deal with the problem. It doesn't matter that he has dementia, it's not OK to beat and kick helpless animals.

Meanwhile, remember to take care of yourself and tend to your own needs. You cannot pour from an empty vessel.

You took the words right out of my mouth

[~Christina]

Yes what BipolarRn said.

I worked for most of my life with dementia people. It's heartbreaking and beyond stressful, it's not an easy Job at all !

You have to take care of you , if not your going crash and burn.

( hugs )

[Tucson]

Take time for yourself. I am in a very stressful position of caring for my mother in the advanced stage of dementia. I am 24/7 for several straight months now. I feel so old and burnt out, foremost because respite care is not available since she can be violent at times. She can yell and throw fits. So I can understand your situation. Furthermore, I am not suited to caregiving.

Please take time off for yourself. Mental stability is of extreme importance. Do not let your job take that away from you. Between mental and physical health, those two IMO are the most important to have. If you cannot take care of yourself, how can you take care of others?

Tucson