[CloserToTheMid]

I took the sanity test recently. I took it based on my pre-treatment days and then now. Although my 1st testing indicated serious issues, the score was relatively low 97. But not all of the questions took into account bipolar issues.

One of the issues is self-esteem. The test seems to assume that good self-esteem is a sign of good health, but what about inflated self-esteem. What about grandiosity and inflated confidence? Self-esteem and confidence are healthy right? Not always in the context of Bipolar. It can even be dangerous. It can lead to delusional thinking. When your reality is base on a delusion, it can be dangerous. Think of the things you do in dreams that you would never do in real life. Now imagine that you believed your real life was no different than your dreams....dangerous.

My esteem for myself and my confidence with women during my greatest mania led me to believe that I was on a mission from God to make women feel desirable who were not feeling so in their marriage or otherwise. I cucked several men. I could have gotten a punch in the face or a bullet to my head if any of those men had found out.

How has confidence and self-esteem become a problem for you?

[leejosepho]

I believe my esteem of myself is in its best shape when it agrees with our Creator's esteem of me. And so...

There is the "me" I think I see;
There is the "me" other people see;
There is the "me" our Maker sees;
My goal is to reconcile the three, and the only one I can change is my own.

PS: Self-esteem is never an issue of quantity, only a matter of accuracy (honest candor) and quality.

[CloserToTheMid]

Originally Posted by leejosepho

I believe my esteem of myself is in its best shape when it agrees with our Creator's esteem of me. And so...

There is the "me" I think I see;
There is the "me" other people see;
There is the "me" our Maker sees;
My goal is to reconcile the three, and the only one I can change is my own.

PS: Self-esteem is never an issue of quantity, only a matter of accuracy (honest candor) and quality.

This is a beautiful thought. Yes! In line with our Maker's esteem of us. That requires a daily prayer practice. Manic, though, I pervert God's esteem of me.

Hmmm. Quantity. As in too much or to little self-esteem.

"respect and admiration, typically for a person"

That would mean that respect and admiration have no quantity as well. I don't know. There are different ways of thinking of quantities of the human gifts that we give; love, respect, adoration, etc. How much of these gifts do we give? Do people have to earn them? Do I have to earn them from myself or God? Is it "accurate" to esteem myself poorly.

There are times when my behavior and lifestyle were depraved. One could esteem me as ill. Do I esteem myself for this?

Good ideas to play with.

But the main thing is that whether it be quality or quantity, it can be inaccurate or inflated to the point of problematic.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by CloserToTheMid

...But the main thing is that whether it be quality or quantity, it can be inaccurate or inflated to the point of problematic.

Yes, and I mention quality versus quantity to simply suggest there is no such thing as having no esteem of oneself. One's esteem of oneself might be nothing but negative, but that is still one's esteem of oneself.