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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2015
Location: earth
Posts: 3,029
9 1,884 hugs
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Dec 19, 2016 at 01:49 PM
#1
Hi y'all, I'm having a really stressful day. 2 years ago today my mentally ill 24 year old grandson (addicted to opioids also) was murdured in an act of drug related violence. He was dealing drugs and a competing drug dealer bashed his brains out with a fire place poker.
I hate mental illness, I hate drug abuse. I wish I could wave a magic wand and instantly heal all of us who suffer with mental illness and/or substance abuse problems. I'm so sad and angry. Usually I'm ok and but today it's triggering me big time 
__________________  Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: in my head
Posts: 542
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Dec 19, 2016 at 02:59 PM
#2
I'm so sorry for your tragic loss... I wish there was something I could do or say to make it better. Try to take care of yourself today.
__________________ My labels: Bipolar 1 w/ psychosis PTSD GAD SAD ADHD Current meds: 1500mg divalproex sodium 3mg alprazolam 0.5 mg triazolam PRN assorted non psych meds. 
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 Shazerac
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,313
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Dec 19, 2016 at 03:04 PM
#3
 I'm sorry such a horrible thing happend to your grandson. Please do something extra special for yourself.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Shazerac
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,654
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Dec 19, 2016 at 03:05 PM
#4
I'm so sorry.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
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Shazerac
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 17,154
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Dec 19, 2016 at 03:07 PM
#5
I'm so sorry. Be kind to yourself.
__________________ Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 1.5 mg, Gabapentin 300 Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Shazerac
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
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Dec 19, 2016 at 03:12 PM
#6
Really sorry for your loss, please post as much as you need to, we're here for you
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Shazerac
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: U.S.
Posts: 2,585
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Dec 19, 2016 at 03:17 PM
#7
I'm so sorry to hear about this. That is horrible. Please take care of yourself, especially during this difficult time. Post whenever you feel the need.
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Shazerac
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2015
Location: earth
Posts: 3,029
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Dec 19, 2016 at 03:20 PM
#8
 Thank you so much for kind replies. I'm in my jammies and going to try and take easy today.
__________________ Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 807
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Dec 19, 2016 at 03:30 PM
#9
What a horrible thing to have happened to a sweet child...
Glad you are taking care of you today 
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Dec 19, 2016 at 03:32 PM
#10
Sorry for your loss
Please take care of yourself.
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: NW Louisiana
Posts: 1,214
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Dec 19, 2016 at 03:40 PM
#11
Today is the anniversary of my mother's funeral eight years ago, and now I grieve with you over the loss of your grandson.
__________________ | manic-depressive with psychotic tendencies (1977) | chronic alcoholism (1981) | Asperger burnout (2010) | mood disorder - nos / personality disorder - nos / generalized anxiety disorder (2011) | chronic back pain / peripheral neuropathy / partial visual impairment | Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumors (incurable cancer) | |
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
Posts: 2,626
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Dec 19, 2016 at 04:24 PM
#12
Sorry for your loss.
All the things addiction destroys, in so many ways, It's awful. __________________ Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2015
Location: earth
Posts: 3,029
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Dec 19, 2016 at 04:54 PM
#13
Quote:
__________________ Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
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Dec 19, 2016 at 04:56 PM
#14
I'm sorry for your loss. A year and a half ago I lost my husband to drug addiction (he overdosed on opiates). I understand that anniversaries are hard. Be kind to yourself. Do something nice for yourself today. Last year on the one year anniversary of his death I got a memorial tattoo. You don't have to do something that extreme but maybe treat yourself to some good chocolate or something you like to do.
__________________ Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: Under the noise floor
Posts: 18,579
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Dec 19, 2016 at 06:33 PM
#15
Sorry for your loss. Hope you have some self-care planned for the next few days.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 3,418
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Dec 19, 2016 at 07:38 PM
#16
So sorry for your loss!! Hugs
__________________ Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2016
Location: California
Posts: 94
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Dec 19, 2016 at 08:07 PM
#17
That's awful. I'm so sorry.
__________________ BP2, previously diagnosed with Major Depression and Generalized Anxiety. Latuda Luvox Klonopin |
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Dec 19, 2016 at 10:52 PM
#18
How tragic. I'm so sorry.
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Member
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: US
Posts: 91
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Dec 19, 2016 at 11:28 PM
#19
Hugs to you- very sorry for your loss and how difficult this day (and many others, I imagine) must be for you because of his death
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
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Dec 20, 2016 at 05:01 AM
#20
That must be so tough to deal with. Sending love and hugs.x
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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