[BeyondtheRainbow]

Do you manage to feel guilty about absolutely ridiculous things?

My 21 year old cat died last month. I am going to get a kitten at the end of this month after I spend a few days dogsitting and unable to give it enough attention.

A relative who lives 4 or 5 states away (probably 15 hours) has young cats from a pregnant stray she took in that haven't found homes. She was partially joking, partially seriously offering me one today. Logistically it would be silly and I want a baby kitten. I have good reasons for that as well as just really wanting a tiny one; I've been doing kitty hospice for years and the opposite is so attractive.

But now I feel really bad that I'm not helping her out. I know this is not logical but I still feel it.

[MusicLover82]

When you are ready and the time is right, you will adopt a new kitten. Don't let guilt be the reason you adopt. The guilt you feel could be an anxiety/OCD thing, which is not always rational. A big decision like adopting a new animal should be made rationally. Keep that in mind. ((HUGS))

[BeyondtheRainbow]

The guilt is more about WHERE/from whom I adopt than when. I'm ready now but just can't logistically do it for a few weeks. But I feel like I should help my relative out even though I'm not about to drive 15 hours (or 8 to halfway) to get a kitten and I have specifics I want that her kittens don't meet. I know that feeling guilty about that is silly but I do.

On the other hand feeling guilty adopting from a shelter is ridiculous.

Yes....I feel quilts for everything sometimes. When my dog died, I was sure it was my fault for some reason and hated myself and felt so much guilt for the times I didn't spend with him. I feel guilty for having anything nice when so many have nothing. I think I should give it all away but I like my stuff and can't. I feel guilty for liking my stuff and being attached to it. The list of guilt could go on and on. I get obsessively guilty and believe it qualifies as pathological.

Sometimes I don't have it though. I've never done anything with the intention of hurting anyone. I go out of my way not to. I do hurt people by accident at times and regret it when I realize but in a healthy productive way where I learn from the experience, give my sincere apologies and move on. I do my best and feel that deep in my heart. This is a healthier way of being but I can't always manage this.

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

The guilt is more about WHERE/from whom I adopt than when. I'm ready now but just can't logistically do it for a few weeks. But I feel like I should help my relative out even though I'm not about to drive 15 hours (or 8 to halfway) to get a kitten and I have specifics I want that her kittens don't meet. I know that feeling guilty about that is silly but I do.

On the other hand feeling guilty adopting from a shelter is ridiculous.

Honestly, I'd feel more guilty driving all that way for an animal of which there are many, many much, much closer. Especially if it wasn't even what I wanted(!)
Does countering with environmental guilt help? If yes, cool. If not, ignore.

I definitely take on guilt that I shouldn't (but have made progress.) You're not alone.

I hope you get exactly what you want.

[Ocean Swimmer]

I did fostermoms program for years.
My neighbor recommended it when I lost my kitty.
I feel guilty as part of the overall BP problem.
So, feel sad about your loss.
If you can help an organization that helps animals,that's the same as helping your relatives with the litter.
The other thought,if they could meet you 1/2 way with the kitten. Or shipping. But that puts a lot of stress on the animal.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Oh. And thanks for the work you've done on kitty hospice.
Wonderful.
I just spent 10 days nursing my little rescue through her spay surgery recovery. It's nice to see her all well and running and playing.