[token451]

I work at a residential treatment facility for adolescents, mostly with borderline traits, and I deal with bipolar myself. I try to unload a bit of my work days on my husband and friends in increments, just to talk about it so its not all stuck inside of me but they do not understand it all. They tell me to get a new job in a different field and no matter how loudly I tell them I love helping the kids, they only can see the negatives. Everyone is tired after their work week, mine just happens to be three 12 hour shifts in three sequential days so by the 4th day, I'm exhausted and emotionally drained. All they see is the 4th day or the bad things that I tell them from my week. They ignore all the wonderful things from my week that I tell them. I don't know how to do my job and not tell people about it but I also don't know how to deal with them telling me to quit without sounding like a *****. yes, my first day after my work week is over is essentially a coma day where I do not leave me bed much but the next three are perfectly normal. This turned into more of a rant than anything else but everyone just tells me to quit my job and find a new one. People at my work understand but all my friends and family outside of it cannot understand it.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, token451. Your job does sound emotionally demanding, so I can understand why you need to unwind. Alas, spouses and friends often do get tired of hearing the rough parts of our job. Have you considered finding a counselor to talk to? He/she might also provide some insights that can be helpful to you in your personal and professional life.

Here's my hit on the schedule they require of you. . I think a lot of non-profits, medical facilities (hospital for nurses, for example), and the helping professions exploit their workers in a lot of ways. Like you say, you love helping the kids. That's what many of such helping organizations count on -- that the employees find that their work in the field is so vital that they'll put up with this exploitation. I do realize that it's not just the helping profession employers that demand 12 hour days. Public school teachers are exploited terribly! I know -- I was one, till I could not stand it anymore. I have a friend who's a computer tech and works for one of the largest computer companies in the country. He is required to work 12 hour days, too. It's a very bad, mental and physical health compromising, thing to demand. Work didn't use to be like this....in the 1950s and 60s I worked, once for an oil company, and once for a bank. We had on the job training (we were paid the usual hourly or salary rate during that time). We didn't have have to go to community college to get the background. We learned what to do on the job. College often does not really give the people what they need to work in a field anyway. Graduates go to work and find they don't know what to do. This applies not only to teachers, but to attorneys, counselors, and probably others. I happen to be well acquainted with people in the fields I mention. Another case in point -- my brother was a technician for a branch of the Federal government. The graduate biologists there used to ask him how to do their jobs -- hey, those people had Master's Degrees! My brother was a good learner, and good at teaching himself. He only had had 2 years of college. He's very independent, creative, and hugely intelligent. He hated school. He resented it that these big shots with big salaries relied on him to do their own jobs. (He eventually quit his job there, and came back as a consultant for the same department with a much higher rate of pay.) In my case in offices at the oil company and the bank, we knew what the job duties were, and did them. Then we went home at the end of an 8 hour day. We were occasionally asked IF we wanted to work over time that day. When I was asked that question I always said No, and nothing bad ever happened to me. The boss never guilt tripped me, or pouted, etc. We had the proper amount of duties to fit into 8 hours did not have to work too fast to get the job done. Earlier in the 20th century, and in the industrial revolution in the 19th century, before unions won the 8 hour day, lunch hour, breaks, and allowed workers to go to the restroom when needed, the working conditions were brutal -- worse than today. But that does not make the retrograde requirements of nowadays right. I have worked 2-1/2 jobs for a company. I quit -- or, should I say, they ran me off when I refused to do a job that was absolutely impossible. That was to answer he phone, help customers at the counter, and do computer work, all at the same time. I was forbidden to tell phone callers that I was helping someone, and call them back! Maybe they ran me off because he customers always asked for me (even when I'd been on the job for only 2 weeks). I was kind and respectful to t hem. I knew how to handle irate very angry customers, and calm them down, and explain their options. The other workers, and the boss, were rude and hateful to the customers. The nature of that job was special circumstances, which is why the organization did not fail and close down.