I'm always comparing myself to others. I know I shouldn't compare myself, but I do.

I'm 25 and I'm looking back on my high school days, which really weren't too long ago. I see quite a few people from my high school who are currently in med school to become doctors. Others are in Law School or PhD programs. The rest are married and have kids.

I look back on them and say, "wow, i feel f_cking robbed. if i didn't have this illness or if my parents had sought help for me, look at what I could have become."

I know I'm not the smartest person out there and maybe I was never capable of achieving what they have achieved, but MAN, do I feel robbed. I feel robbed of the chances they were given. I mean, I "guess" I got the chance to achieve what they have achieved? but it was an unfair chance at best. It's like gambling using someone else's set of loaded dice: you might win something, but you're probably not going to win what you want to win.

I wanted to become a doctor and I am confident that I academically could have handled it. It just wasn't happening, not with my b_llshit GPA, not with my unmedicated illness. And now, I'm deteriorating by the day and I'm hanging on by a thread. I guess I'm lucky to achieve what I have achieved because I look at myself now and say "there's no f_cking way I could have achieved that at this point in my life".

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. Or maybe I am. Maybe I'm selfish. I don't know. But we're all entitled to be selfish at least once, right? I'm just pissed. And depressed. Does anyone else feel robbed?

[Alchemilla]

I totally feel robbed. I feel like mental illness has robbed 4 and a half years of my life. I feel like this depression I'm in has robbed me of my personality, my life force and my will to live. I have a hard time believing I can find a partner who will accept my mental illness. I can relate.

[bioChE]

I can relate. I also feel robbed. Not necessarily in a victim-mentality sort of way, but more that I can't pursue other opportunities life could hold for me. BP is like a sack of lead tied around my neck, making every step and every accomplishment that much harder than it has to be.

[Wander]

Definitely. I have been robbed of stable relationships, income, and a love of life if general. It sucks

[Moose72]

I turn 45 tomorrow. Imagine how much worse it is at my age.

[Sad Mermaid]

I am 46 and once again looking for a job - this is a second time I lost employment due to bipolar. I feel robbed of opportunities. I carry an ugly stomach because I took medications that ruined my figure. Everything that normal mood people take for granted is a big struggle for me. I cannot focus because I always am thinking of the doomed situation I am in. Of course I feel robbed.

[Nammu]

Well let's compare. I now live at home with my 89 yr mum, on disability, have a 20 yr old crap car that won't start, I've never been out of the USA, divorced, but I have a 33 yr daughter in a great relationship and one and a half grandkids that love me.

Self pity has been a theme of recent therapy sessions for me. I do feel robbed. I know it's not productive thinking that way, but it's how I feel for various reasons.

[BipolaRNurse]

Bipolar stole my life and ate it. I used to have a well-paying and responsible job, a nice home with nice things in it, and a solidly middle-class social status. Now I'm on disability, living in a single room in my son's home; I have no car of my own; and practically everything I have is in a storage facility 25 miles from where I live. But I have to be content with my lot because there is no point in rehashing my losses over and over again. What's done is done.

Yes, I do feel robbed. More by my physical illness than my mental. People take physical wellness for granted, I know I did before I got struck so hard. My mental illness was hard, and I'm sure I would have/could have been so much more without it but I was content mostly before losing my physical health. My mental health issues went into remission for the most part....or at least the worst aspects of them did until I got physically sick and they started giving me psych meds to fix the pain. What a laugh! Made things 10 times worse. And if my stress wasn't so high with my son's various illnesses, ailments and special needs my mental illness wouldn't be as bad either. So I guess I can blame it on a number of things but blaming doesn't change a thing, in the end I've been robbed and am powerless.

[mossanimal]

Hmmm.. Great thread. It's such a complex question for me. It's robbed me of my potential in terms of a career. It's put a financial burden on myself that will affect my wife and family for years. So many great opportunities burned to the ground. But it's also led to an adventurous life with travel all over the world.. as well as an artistic vision. It has led to me being a father that introduces my kids to many unusual and joyous aspects of life (when I'm in the right mood). There is NO doubt that if I had made more sensible, less destructive decisions I would never have met my wife. Ugghh.. but I then I think of her being better off not having met me. Who knows. Nothing I can do now except make myself the better person that my family deserves.

[Unrigged64072835]

I think having the life I had before my meltdown robbed me. Now I'm able to do what I want to do, at least for a while. My creativity has returned, and while I'm still anxious it's not panic attack anxious.

[Faltering]

I'm 25 too. I do feel like bipolar has robbed me of meaningful friendships and romantic relationships that other people my age have. I can't even go on social media anymore because I compare myself to others and feel bad about myself. It seems like everyone is getting married, having kids, and landing great jobs. Then there's me, alone and trying just to make it through each day.

I have tried my hardest not to let bipolar interfere with my education. So far it has worked out, as I am finishing up my degree to become a school psychologist. However, it has taken disability accommodations, hospitalizations, etc. to make it to this point. And now I know I will struggle with having a career for 40 years. It never gets easier, only harder.

[lilypup]

I totally feel robbed. Even though I have a good life now, I think of all the friends that went by the wayside...all the embarrassing moments I got into, all the events that I now cannot attend because of my depression..you name it. I see my life falling down even more into depression. Thank god for my kids and husband or I would not be here.

I definitely understand the loss of career potential. I was very gifted when young and could have done many things. My crazy behavior and severe depressions took that away.

Yes. A thousand times yes.
When I was in high school I was in the top 10% and I was going to go to college and become an engineer. My first year of college I was hospitalized four separate times and failed over half my classes due to my symptoms. I worked a seasonal job at an amusement park but lost that because I went manic and did a bunch of bad things and was hospitalized and never went back. I haven't worked since despite applying to many jobs. I'm thinking about going on disability just to have some sort of income and so I wouldn't be totally screwed if for some reason or another my family couldn't support me anymore. And don't get me started on how messed up my relationships with other people are.
I'm furious at this illness for taking away my life.

[gayleggg]

I feel robbed too. Bipolar cost me my first marriage and happiness in my second one. I had to quit working early because of it and spend my days doing nothing because I don't feel like doing anything and have no money to do anything. It has taken all the joy out of my life.

You are not alone in your feelings of being cheated.

[pirilin]

I'm not complaining. Maybe because I lived 61 yrs without the stigma. Or the meds.

[Plastic Fork]

Robbed? Perhaps I used to feel that way. I was diagnosed later in life and was so relieved to know that there was medicine available to help stop the madness. In my life I have achieved so many goals, that had it not been for BP, I never would have set those goals, nor had any insight into anything beyond the obvious. The quests the normal people seek that they measure success by.

I actually feel blessed by the disorder. Blessed because I was able to hear the beat of a different drum and in turn develop a life not governed by the obvious.

[raspberrytorte]

Yeah. I feel it has robbed me. But all we can do is our best.

[franz kafka]

Sometimes, yes. I suppose things still hang in the balance for me. I'm still working towards my goals; it's just taking me longer (and more money) than it would have if I were mentally well. I keep needing to take time off from school.

[Sunflower123]

Definitely. I feel robbed. I was diagnosed at the age of 32 and as an over-achiever had acquired a level of success as I defined it and met my goals. I had a nervous breakdown and my house of cards collapsed and burned. I sometimes compare the 'pre-me' and where she would be today compared to the 'post-me'. It makes me both sad and angry at the same time.

[Victoria'smom]

My life wasn't suppose to be like this. My finances and Career life is a wreck but my family life is/was awesome. I got to be more hands on then I had planned with my kid. Life has been good to me even though I can't work.

[hopeless2015]

I feel like it has and I feel like it has robbed my family most of all. I feel like a disappointment to them.

[Miss Laura]

When I turned 30 I really SUFFERED from my bipolar has robbed me. I am 32 now and although I know it has robbed me I don't dwell on it as I would drive myself insane

Maybe I'm the odd man out but as much as I've been robbed, I've also been given many things because of Bipolar. I'm usually so caught up in my head, obsess about every detail, feel mistrust of people and incredibly low self esteem which holds me back. Depression makes it all worse but even when stable I have such discomfort around people, am pathologically introverted. The highs were wonderful and not always a crash into the abyss. To feel deep comfort and connection to others and myself, Sky high self esteem and energy which seemed never ending is something I'd pay good money to experience. I guess if I were violent and physically aggressive it would be much harder to feel how I do about it all. After my son was born, I worked about 30 hours a week, took 3-4 classes at school and got mostly A's and nothing less than a b, took care of my husband who was in a wheelchair from a major accident and disability, took great care of my young son and still had energy to spare. Without hypomanic symptoms I would have crashed and burned instead of feeling on top of the world and ready for any challenge put in front of me. I would probably never leave my house if it weren't for hypomanic symptoms. It's been a blessing and a curse, just like life itself.