[LacunaCoiler]

So like the title says... I'm pissed off at my doc and my wife. I don't often post, I can't remember the last time I actually started a post, but I'm so pissed off that I just needed to vent.

I had an appt on Wednesday (yup, still mad 2 days later) and I didn't want to go because deep down I just knew the pdoc would raise my rispridone but the wife forced me to go. She said it was for my own good because she thinks I'm going into an episode. Screw that, she doesn't know me! So yeah... she pulled the whole "if you don't go..." crap and guess what my dumb ***** did, I went like an idiot.

Anyways, guess what happened... yup, they raised my rispridone! I even told my pdoc that I wanted to get off them completely because it was poisoning my body and that they were out to kill me by raising it. So if I die it's all my wife's and my pdoc's fault. I blame them.

They just can't accept that I'm in a good mood and that everything is fine. So what if I have a lot more energy. So what if I'm a little more talkative. So what if I'm sleeping less. So what if I'm the most awesomest person in the world. They should just be happy that I'm doing good with everything.

The one thing they didn't help me with or address were how to stop people from reading my mind. That's the real issue here. I need coping skills on how to get everyone from reading what I'm thinking. I knew they wouldn't understand and I knew they weren't going to help me. To be honest, I don't know why I was so stupid to bring it up in the first place. The meds aren't going to stop people from reading my mind so why up it in the first place?

I'm assuming these people are the ones watching me too. This may be tmi, but I swear the "pimple" (at least that's what my wife says it is) on my neck is a tracking chip. But of course... no one believes me.

So, I guess I just wanted to vent that I was pissed off with the wife, the pdoc, basically the whole world at this point. I feel like no one is taking me seriously. I guess when something happens to me they'll see I was right all along. *sigh*

[bioChE]

Not trying to diagnose, but from your descriptions I'd say "hypomanic." No offense, but I'd raise the Risperdal as well. The lasting anger is also a telltale.

I take it very seriously when my wife makes observations like that and encourages me to contact my doctor. She is the one who knows me best and is an outside/unbiased observer. When she and my doctor concur, it's another sign I should pay attention to what they say.

Nobody is implanting chips or reading your mind.

[rwwff]

Coping with the mind reading? Let me ask a question as a form of answer. Is there a reason you need to care if they read your mind?

If someone read my mind and said, "dude that's awful, how could you think that." My answer would be simply, "seeing that is the price of reading my mind, moron. Mind your manners."

[bioChE]

Lacuna, have you found any relief?

[Wonderfalls]

If you can, think how unlikely it is that the people who care about you are trying to kill you, that people can read your mind and are tracking you. Why? Consider how much your actions and beliefs resemble symptoms of mania. You wrote here and listed the things you are thinking--you must wonder if all this is normal.

[LacunaCoiler]

People are no longer reading my mind but they're now following and watching me. I think they've gone quiet and stopped reading my mind out of fear of me finding out who they are. It's freaking me out... I dunno what to do.