[glowsinthedark]

got into fight with my husband before going to work. at work one of the machines I use broke down. this made my father upset (I work for his studio). he started talking about how nothing we are doing feels worth it, that he feels disconnected from the world. this made me breakdown. I told him that sometimes I don't want to live anymore. now we are both crying and crying, talking about how hopeless we feel. It was so dramatic it almost feels ridiculous, but it was real. Got home and had another fight with my husband. it was hard but we both said things we needed to say. I feel I understand him better now. He basically told me that my issues with depression and anxiety are beyond what he knows how to deal with and that he wants me to seek help. I'm pretty sure I said some damaging things, but it seems like we are going to be okay. things are going to be okay. the only thing is now I'm very worried about my father. I seem to have pushed his depression to the surface. He said some things that I've never heard him say before that just totally broke my heart (no one in my family is very open with their emotions, so when they are it's big). I feel guilty that my pain has hurt people around me. I feel selfish also. I guess the only silver lining is that I made an appointment with my GP today to discuss medication.

Sorry for the ramble, just had to let it out somewhere

[bioChE]

Good step to talk to your GP, but why not a psychiatrist?

[Nammu]

Sounds like a therapist would be very helpful.

[glowsinthedark]

my psychiatrist left recently and I haven't gotten set up with a new one yet. I'm hoping my gp will help with that (I know her pretty well). same with finding a new therapist. the one I've been working with and like a lot basically only sees people for 3 months - some sort of crisis intake program I somehow got funneled into mistakingly :/

[hopeless2015]

I'm so sorry, maybe your gp can refer you to a psychologist? Sending hugs and keep posting if it helps