Hi everyone, When I want something, I want it NOW. This time, I've decided I need a whole new set of stainless steel flatware. I've been to three stores, nothing I saw there was what I wanted. Perused the internet, ditto. Now I'm fixated (still) and want this so much I am spending way too much time with looking for it NOW.

Of course, as all or most of us here know, this will not be the end of such compulsions to purchase something we WANT NOW. Even if I find my flatware pattern, it will something else I go after. I spend so much time on this!!!!!

Anybody found a way to let go of these desires?

I have my To Do list for today, and it does not include looking for flatware!!! My next stop now is to get dressed, then play my musical instrument for an hour. The read. Maybe play music again. Then maybe a video. Two phone conversations later today -- 30 minutes each -- my sister who has just returned from Europe, and my boyfriend. Bf and I talk on the phone or see each other every day.

[Wild Coyote]

You have quite a healthy list of other activities you hope to complete.
Move on to the next activity.

Assign a time to the "tableware search," (for instance tomorrow from 10 am - 11 am), and stick to the schedule. This way, you'll achieve more balance.

Just a thought!

I hope you are having an enjoyable weekend!


WC

[Wander]

When I get manic and want to shop like crazy I give my Mum my credit card until I can control myself. Sounds a bit childish but it works. She has mine right now otherwise I would have no $ left and a bunch of odd stuff. Try to tap into the insightful part of you and see if you can come up with a plan to keep you safe from spending sprees.

[Guiness187055]

I have given over complete control of our finances to my wife. She gives me $40 a week. I have proven over time that I can't control buying what I want when I want.

Dear Wander, I think your plan of giving your credit card to your mom is a great idea!! Not childish -- just smart. It's a great way to protect ourselves from something we'd do. Years ago, when I was a "consumer employee" at a mental health drop in center, we invited two reps from the electric company to visit us there. We did theater with them -- I did most of the theatrics, because others did not feel comfortable with that role. But boy, I laid it on the reps!!! Stuff like, [frustrated and angry role] "But I PAID MY BILL, I KNOW I DID -- YOU PEOPLE ARE LOSING MY RECORDS!!!" Then the reps had to figure out how to handle such an out of control person. (That role had actually been ME in previous years!!) They did a good job....said stuff like, "Could you look around a little bit and see if you can find the old bill?" So, in my theater role, I pawed around on the table like there was a jumbled pile of papers there, then humbly and with great embarrassment and shame, apologized to the rep and said, I had found the bill, it was not paid yet!

Another thing the electric company reps suggested to us was if we'd have a tendency to forget to pay a bill on time, or pay our rent, we could find a trusted person to remind us every month. So you see, Wander, many of us have stuff we do that doesn't make a good life, and there are ways to cope with our otherwise irresponsible or foolish behavior was alre3ady know we do!

And as for protecting my credit card, I can't put my credit card into "safe keeping" with someone like Wander's plan does, because my credit card is saved into places like Amazon.com and a zillion other places online. So I like the idea by Wild Coyote -- that could work....

Wild Coyote, the idea of putting a time limit on stuff is something that works for me. At least for awhile. I've been doing that for years. Eventually the plan breaks down, but I start it again....Thanks for the reminder!

I've already put a time limit on how much time I spend online in general, including this forum and another great forum I participate in....

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

I have given over complete control of our finances to my wife. She gives me $40 a week. I have proven over time that I can't control buying what I want when I want.

Very smart!!!!

I have always wanted to have a personal money manager!!! Fortune has never provided me with one!!! I was married more than once. The first marriage, the two of us were great with our finances!!! We were frugal, never went into debt except for a small car payment. We banked his whole paycheck and lived on mine. We did buy a new car, and a new piano. Those were our two largest expenses, and had equal value. So when we broke up, he got the new car, and I got the piano. We were very pleased with this situation. We negotiated about who got which books and records, and that was about it.

The other two husbands were very irresponsible with our money. One put us into bankruptcy. I paid all MY bills, though -- just not his. After that, he started taking advances on his paychecks!!! He was impossible!!

The other one tricked me into selling my house at a huge loss. It took me years to get back on my feet financially.

That's all in the past, though. Now it's only me I have to control!!! Fortunately I no longer make thousands-of-dollars useless purchases.