Trazodone for agitation mixed episode, what the hell is my psychiatrist thinking on?

I am agitated, I get 'up rashed' and I am full of energy for hours o days, I get irritable, unable to sleep and agressive mostly, but few time I believe I am a super genious. Then the 'down', not a mood down but a more crying, lack of energy, lying in bed, ...

I told everything to my psychiatrist, even the homicidal and suicidal part.

He just gave me Trazodone. That's it. I took 100mg, waited 35minutes and saw him again. I was equally agitated but clumsy and drowsy.

He said he thinks lithium is not that a good option when he mentioned it the appointment we had before when I told him aout the'ups'. He said something about valporate and clorpreI-don't-remember-what being better.

I am just ****ed up, more agitated, I just want to end my life but I don't want to die, I just want this pain to disappear. I have a lot of college tasks and other important things to do, I can't wait until my psychiatrist decide to give me something. He said valporate takes time to do something...

I DON'T want to kill myself but I can't hold this anymore and I can't be sedated all the time.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

Can you fire your doctor and find another one.

No, I can't, it is the public health system and the only in my area.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

I am sorry you are suffering.

Can you contact your pdoc and let him/her know this med regimen does not work well for you?

Take care.

WC

He put me on this today, I can't see him until Tuesday, I can't conntact him either.

I can't hold this anymore...

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

I am, again, very sorry.

Most pdocs have a telephone number where we can call in an emergency.
With your last post, this sounds like an emergency.

If you cannot reach him, can you go to the ER?
I understand you don't want to hurt yourself. Please get to a safe place, where you will be heard and they will help.

Can you go to the ER?
What are your options?


WC

I can't go to ER. They don't understand CPTSD and trigger me, they always end up thinking I have a personality disorder. My psychiatrist told me to don't go again because it makes me worse, and I don't have a PD acording to my psychiatrist... I don't have anywhere else to go. There is one hospital here with one psych ER and the day hospital my psychiatrist works in and I attend, but it is closed on weekends and my psychiatrist is not there on mondays. I cannot reach or call anyone. I saw my psychiatrist just 7hours ago and he said he couuldn't do more than giving me trazodone. He cannot give me a mood stabilizer on Friday if I won't be monitorized because it will be weekend and the ER works really bad. Maybe he will add it on Tuesday.

I have taken dextromethorphan (to reset my brain, I hope it doesn't cause a serotonin syndrome taken with trazodone) along with prescribed trazodone 200mg, clonazepam 2mg and 75mg pegabalin. I am waiting to fall asleep.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

Yes, you'd mentioned the fact that he'd mentioned valproate. It sounds like he's considering a mood stabilizer.

You know your options. Sorry you have to wait through the weekend.
Check in here if we can somehow help.

I hope you get some sleep.
Take care.


WC

(((Oliver)))
I'm not much for advice but be gentle with yourself. It takes time to find a good med cocktail. Hopefully your pdoc will give you the mood stabilizer and that you start feeling better.

Thank you, rigtj noe I took dextrimetorphan, 6mg clonaxepam , 2mg alprazxolam, 200 trazodone and 75 pregabalin and I ask falling asslrpp irtt hard to etrtr

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

Wow. That's a DXM buzz if I ever saw one. Sleep tight.

I hope you got some sleep! Sounds like those pills were working.. Hopefully you didn't overmedicate with sleep meds?

Holy benzo's Batman!!!!!!!!

I still have blurrired vision from text tenet to than, vutbi feel much better.
Thanks you for answering

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

I hope things are better, Oliver.

WC

They are better, thank you.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

My pdoc gave me depakine long release 300mg twice a day, I told him if it wasn't better to take the ER, inmediat release, since I am acute and the ER version makes you have more valporate in yor blood while the long release make you have the same amount but during 12h. He got angry. I admit I told him that in an angry agitated maybe rude way, but I think he overreacted since he said "It seems everything I say is wrong for you, you are not happy with anything I do, I don't know if this continue like this I will keep you as a patient..." with was wtf since I am normally kind. I answer him back telling him It wasn't about him but about me being generally agitated and irritable, that I am avoiding any social contact because I will ruin my friendships being like this. In the end he seemed to understand but it makes me feel really bad to the point of crying.

... in the biginning he insisted it was anxiety, I don't know what kind of anxiety makes you feel so happy you want to kill others because it seem fun, and then so irritable and agitated inside you want to scream until you have no voice anymore. Ironically when I describe a 'high' a week ago he said the description was a manic state.

anyone knows how much I have to wait until it works?

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

I don't know, I feel depakote reduced the agitation 90% but the enourmos energy and the bad feelings even if happy didn't change.

Maybe is it placebo?

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

It takes more time to see the full effects.
You may or may not need additional meds at some point.

WC

Today I saw my pdoc for 10 minutes for a med change and I apologized and he did too, he admited he burned out and overreacted.

I am getting better.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-