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#1
May 11, 2017, 07:47 PM
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Seriously...cross me.
I am physically and emotionally exhausted but my ****ing mind won't shut the hell up. I could ****ing cry. But what would that do? I took 2 extra Klonapin...should have taken 4 but I'm afraid I won't wake up in the morning if I do and I have **** to do and an appt at iop tomorrow. My mind is drained and leaking into my head. It will certainly explode. I want to take a long ****ing never ending shower. But, if I do, I won't come out. Besides, I really don't want to straighten my hair. Someone please take this from me. I cannnnnotttt handle it right now. California Dreamin: Just listen...it will ****ing blow your mind.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
 Anonymous59125, jacky8807, rwwff, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#2
May 11, 2017, 07:51 PM
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Agitation is the worst. So sorry you're feeling this way. Perhaps IOP will be helpful? Do you see your pdoc soon?
__________________
dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN |
| Wild Coyote
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#3
May 11, 2017, 07:57 PM
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Quote:
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Wild Coyote
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#4
May 11, 2017, 08:21 PM
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So sorry you are going through this Cash. Agitation is from hell. Right now I am exhausted and agitated too but not at the level you are experiencing. It makes life so difficult and painful. Can you go for a walk, get outside for a bit. I find that calms me a little. Maybe take extra PRN to ease your suffering. I wish I knew how to stop it but i do know it will pass. When did you start the Depakote? What does your pdoc suggest to ease the agitation? Hang in there and stay safe. Sending huge HUGS through the ether to you.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| Wild Coyote
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#5
May 11, 2017, 08:33 PM
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How much depakote are you taking? I found that enough of that stuff was pretty calming but it took a lot for me (an unusual amount but I had a weird problem with keeping my levels up). I hope it kicks in for you really soon. That agitation is the worst feeling.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| Wild Coyote
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#6
May 11, 2017, 08:51 PM
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Well...my husband did cross me...you can only imagine the perfect timing and I lost it and so did he and there was no middle ground. None at all. My babies were in bed...us, downstairs but I'm sure they can still hear us. He said I am the most selfish mfer he has ever known. Boom.
Major
Possible trigger:
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| jacky8807, Wild Coyote
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#7
May 11, 2017, 09:09 PM
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I'm sorry, I don't feel your selfish. Stay safe.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| Wild Coyote
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#8
May 11, 2017, 09:11 PM
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Not selfish. Sick. He always struggles with that when you aren't well. It's part of the pattern. Trust us and your providers on this.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| Wild Coyote
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 jacky8807, Wild Coyote
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#9
May 12, 2017, 02:04 AM
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Thinking of you Cash.
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| Wild Coyote
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#10
May 12, 2017, 04:08 AM
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Hope you wake up feeling sunny
but not too sunny somewhere in that magical place known as the "in between" 
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| Wild Coyote
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#11
May 12, 2017, 01:22 PM
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Thank you for your support. I feel exactly the same except very, very tired. I hope I am coming down to sanity and not just a psychotic depression. I am the worse.
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Victoria'smom, Wild Coyote
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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