[scatterbrained04]

Yesterday was just awful. Everything was so overwhelming. I was either in severely depressed and in bed. Or I was up screaming and hitting my head on doors and punching the wall. It's like I was suddenly taken over by something else. Last night at the restaurant, I was either rocking in my chair or my leg was bouncing like crazy. I hate being this way. I apologized a lot to my son. I was so awful to him. I think I've decided that I might see if he can stay with family next weekend. My entire family was asking me what is wrong with me all weekend. I really don't know what to do with myself.

This morning I still feel jittery. Have no idea how I'm going to make it through work.

[Victoria'smom]

Sounds like you're going into a mixed episode.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. It's time for you to get some help by either seeing your pdoc to review your medication or going IP. You're not alone. I've been there and it's terrifying and painful. Please seek help today.

[captaineo]

Hi mate I understand you, you had a bad episode where you were out of your head and you were not yourself. If that happens try to fight it by going out and running swear that crap out of your system. Is not easy, I live in Japan and here the walls are not concrete so I always open an hole on the wall. But the kids is most important. I lost my family everything I hold dear and I am living my hell on earth because of not knowing how to control my self , please look for help , life coaches, therapists , medical, take a Trip, if is the job youvhate Fock the job find a new one, dont lose the family mate.

Firstly,
Sure sounds like some serious agitation. Which sucks. MM may be right in suggesting it could be a mixed episode starting up. It's worth noting that I'm not one to easily suggest mixed episodes. It just reminds me of parts of the worst mixed episode I ever had, and it went on for two months because I had no access to care. Trust me, you don't want that!!

Definitely contact your Pdoc. I know you don't like to, but you don't want this state going on and on. Have you had any recent med changes? Any kind of supplements or herbs?
Is there conflict or heavy resentment you're stuffing down? Or extreme stress? (Those can get me pretty agitated, so figured I'd ask.).

Hope this can get reined in soon for you, scattered. It's a horrible way to feel.

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Definitely contact your Pdoc. I know you don't like to, but you don't want this state going on and on. Have you had any recent med changes? Any kind of supplements or herbs?
Is there conflict or heavy resentment you're stuffing down? Or extreme stress? (Those can get me pretty agitated, so figured I'd ask.)

You're right, I absolutely hate to call. No med changes except for my short 4 days I was on propanolol. Haven't taken that in almost a week. No changes in supplements. I live with a lot of stress all the time. I credit work stress with sending me into this episode to begin with. Other than that, my 11yo drives me nuts. If things don't calm down, I will call pdoc tomorrow. Getting ready to take my son to see his T. I can only imagine what he will tell her

[bioChE]

I wouldn't worry about what your son tells his therapist. It's whatever he needs to unload. Don't worry about what she thinks of you, it's kind of irrelevant.

I agree with innerzone. Might be time to call the pdoc. I hate that feeling. Hope you find some relief soon.

Hitting your heads on wall is so dangerous and I think you need immediate intervention if this hasn't stopped. (((Hugs))) you are sick so don't beat yourself up for it.

[~Christina]

Sounds like your in a mixed episode and they are pure hell on earth. Please contact your Pdoc asap, There are short term meds that can knock that down.

Im so sorry your feeling this way, Its awful

[scatterbrained04]

This week has gone ok-ish. Feeling pretty miserable. Finally broke down and contacted pdoc. Due to work, I needed to move my next appointment. I was able to move it up to this coming week. Now I just need to get myself in a place that I can accept what he is telling me and actually do it. This episode has been jacking with my ability to make good decisions regarding my care.

My aunt is picking my son up for at least tonight. I've been so irritable and completely awful to him. So I feel better that he's getting a break from me.

[Wild Coyote]

You are both getting a break.

WC

[captaineo]

Hugs mate stay strong

[Unrigged64072835]

Hope the appt. works out for you. That's absolute hell. And kids are easy targets. Personal experience.