[jacky8807]

and change you forever? Like who you were at your core to somebody different?

I feel like a switch has flipped inside of me. I'm ready to tell the world to **** off and have fun doing it

I am ready to drop almost every one I know and tell them the wicked truths about themselves that I know would cause a LOT of damage and immense pain

I am ready to throw a match in the gasoline and walk away giving the middle finger.

This is not who I am. I just don't know
I feel bad even writing this but its like its out of my hands all of a sudden....

[Ripose]

This has happened me to a few times now. I start feeling as if nobody wants me, so I start putting up fences and burning bridges. I'm sure there are many people who never want to see me again and I never seem to be able to control it. I feel right now as if it is a good time to throw that switch again and alienate everyone I know, move and start over.
I wish I knew how to stop it.

[jacky8807]

What do you think causes it?

I am feeling like "remorse" has been removed from my vocabulary. Its scary.

Do you think it is just about being fed up with life (read PEOPLE) after so long?

[CalamityJane425]

I know that I feel the same way. In my case its because I've been mistreated over & over throughout my whole life. No joke! I get shamed over trying to be nice. I try to talk to a relative that I haven't seen in a long time only to get her to walk away & then go to her room then close the door. I've experienced a lot of alienation. Correction there's always been that alienation. So I'm like the hell with it. I'll just stay to myself & get myself a dog. I'm grateful to prescribed med's

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

and change you forever? Like who you were at your core to somebody different?

I feel like a switch has flipped inside of me. I'm ready to tell the world to **** off and have fun doing it

I am ready to drop almost every one I know and tell them the wicked truths about themselves that I know would cause a LOT of damage and immense pain

I am ready to throw a match in the gasoline and walk away giving the middle finger.

This is not who I am. I just don't know
I feel bad even writing this but its like its out of my hands all of a sudden....

Do you think the argument with your family member caused the switch to flip? I can understand that....it must give you a sense of freedom and relief. Here's to you not giving the middle finger to the wrong person. Best wishes.

[Ripose]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

What do you think causes it?

I am feeling like "remorse" has been removed from my vocabulary. Its scary.

Do you think it is just about being fed up with life (read PEOPLE) after so long?

I don't like people in general, so yes I do see it as being fed up with life. People are usually okay when I first meet them but slowly they start to grind on me and I just want to run away.

[jacky8807]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Do you think the argument with your family member caused the switch to flip? I can understand that....it must give you a sense of freedom and relief. Here's to you not giving the middle finger to the wrong person. Best wishes.

I know but it's not like my family has ever been any different .
haha that's my worry. I'm just going to start randomly flipping ppl off on the street!

maybe like ripose said
you just are *done* after a while.

eh I'm posting in circles. I'm still confused. don't mind me.

[Wild Coyote]

I think we have limits to what we can tolerate. Some things/people intrude beyond that and we have a reaction. It's traumatic. It sometimes causes a shift in us. The switch gets thrown. As a result, we have feelings and ideas we are not used to.

I'd had a similar response when I was suddenly and unexpectedly physically attacked in a park. WTF? I was hurt, in more ways than one. It was traumatic. I'd changed how I'd felt about people for awhile. It didn't last forever, yet it was a drastic change.

You were attacked. It was traumatic. The switch was thrown.
In reaction, you feel this way now, which feels unlike you. You won't feel this way forever.

Hope this makes some sense?


WC

[markmcc21]

I totally relate. I can be damned near nihilist at times. In fact, most of the time. But at my core that's not really who I am. But I'm starting to think it is who I am now. I am definitely a different person than I used to be.

Sometimes I want to tell people the truth about themselves, too. It pisses me off when people think they're better than everyone else or when they act like their sh_t don't stink.

Like WC said, this desire to burn bridges etc is likely a reaction.

I dunno. I've never told anyone that they suck, even though I've wanted to. I mean, there was some psycho girl who I met in my first year of college. F_cking nuts. Everyone called her the "poop girl" because she would always take a dump in the bathroom and NEVER flush. She argued that flushing too often "is bad for the environment". Whatever

The resident assistant held two floor meetings telling people to flush their toilets. (She didn't single anyone out.) still, the girl did not flush and it pissed off all the girls including me. (Seriously, its gross...)

Well, the girls in the room next door to her kept calling her the "poop girl" (they're actually the ones who came up with the name). Poop girl got pissed off one day and broke into their room (picked the lock) and left a very gruesome/detailed death threat. Police came, but they couldn't prove that poop girl did it, even though we all know she did. So they moved out the two girls next door to one location and move out poop girl to another. The police wouldn't disclose where poop girl and the other two girls moved off to. it was meant to be secret for their own safety.

So I guess you never know how psycho some people are! Ever since then, I've never told anyone anything about themselves.

Edit: she seemed nice at first! I had no idea she was a f_cking sociopath!

[Unrigged64072835]

There's been times when I'm pissed off and just want to tell everyone to bite me. I usually write it in a journal or poem though. I'd just write until I'm exhausted. It seems to ease the steam.

[jacky8807]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I think we have limits to what we can tolerate. Some things/people intrude beyond that and we have a reaction. It's traumatic. It sometimes causes a shift in us. The switch gets thrown. As a result, we have feelings and ideas we are not used to.

I'd had a similar response when I was suddenly and unexpectedly physically attacked in a park. WTF? I was hurt, in more ways than one. It was traumatic. I'd changed how I'd felt about people for awhile. It didn't last forever, yet it was a drastic change.

You were attacked. It was traumatic. The switch was thrown.
In reaction, you feel this way now, which feels unlike you. You won't feel this way forever.

Hope this makes some sense?


WC

sorry that happened to you
and yes! it makes perfect sense

[jacky8807]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Sometimes I want to tell people the truth about themselves, too. It pisses me off when people think they're better than everyone else or when they act like their sh_t don't stink.

Like WC said, this desire to burn bridges etc is likely a reaction.

I dunno. I've never told anyone that they suck, even though I've wanted to. I mean, there was some psycho girl who I met in my first year of college. F_cking nuts. Everyone called her the "poop girl" because she would always take a dump in the bathroom and NEVER flush. She argued that flushing too often "is bad for the environment". Whatever

The resident assistant held two floor meetings telling people to flush their toilets. (She didn't single anyone out.) still, the girl did not flush and it pissed off all the girls including me. (Seriously, its gross...)

Well, the girls in the room next door to her kept calling her the "poop girl" (they're actually the ones who came up with the name). Poop girl got pissed off one day and broke into their room (picked the lock) and left a very gruesome/detailed death threat. Police came, but they couldn't prove that poop girl did it, even though we all know she did. So they moved out the two girls next door to one location and move out poop girl to another. The police wouldn't disclose where poop girl and the other two girls moved off to. it was meant to be secret for their own safety.

So I guess you never know how psycho some people are! Ever since then, I've never told anyone anything about themselves.

Edit: she seemed nice at first! I had no idea she was a f_cking sociopath!

well that story went south quickly