[franz kafka]

I feel overwhelmed with extreme anxiety. It's causing suicidal ideations. I'm already in planning mode. I can't tell how safe I am. I just want the suffering to stop. On top of all this I'm still having psychotic symptoms that lead me towards SI.

Any spare sympathy/empathy is much appreciated.

[Wander]

That sounds awful. I am sorry you are going through this experience. Please don't take any drastic action. This WILL pass. It sounds like you should call your pdoc and/or T immediately. There may be something they can do to ease your suffering. A short IP stay may be helpful too. To turn things around. You shouldn't have to suffer like this. Keep posting.

Sorry to hear that!

I recommend talking to someone in real life about your feelings. Also, i agree that a short IP stay may be helpful. That was my initial thought too.

Is there anything holding you back from IP?

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Please take good care of you and be safe. You've been suffering for awhile now. Can you contact your pdoc asap or go to an ER or go IP to get back on track?

We're here to support you. You're strong and you can come through this. Keep posting as often as you need. I hope you feel better soon. Thinking of you.

[Guiness187055]

I really think a short IP stay would do you a lot of good. They will be able to straiten out your meds. It seems to me with all the signs that you are showing your meds aren't work for you. Good luck and get better soon.

[*Laurie*]

I also think an IP stay would be beneficial for you. What do you think?

[franz kafka]

My docs aren't suggesting IP at this point, for some reason. Personally I am scared to go.. new hospital, perhaps my insurance won't cover everything.

But at the same time I already rehearsed hanging myself today. I don't know how safe I am.

if you're concerned about insurance, you could always ask the hospital, although I think it's better to be safe and then think about finances later

also, how much do your doctors know about this situation? just wondering why they aren't suggesting IP if you're rehearsing and have been actively suicidal for days

[hopeless2015]

Please go to the er....you have suffered long enough. I'm so sorry your going through this. Hugs!!

[pirilin]

Maybe since you're rehearsing, you are not as safe as you think you are. Seek help. IP, ER, Pdoc, whoever is closer and faster. I wish your suffering will stop without drastic measures.

[Guiness187055]

How on earth do your doctors think your ok? Have you been honest with them? I know if i was suffering from your symptoms my pdoc would have me admitted ASAP

[franz kafka]

I called tdoc because I was rehearsing again, and I just narrowly escaped without being forced IP. He kept telling me that he'd go with me to the hospital and it'd just be a "second opinion" not an admission. Yea, right. I've been there before. I know I'll get admitted.

[bioChE]

If you're actively suicidal, you get admitted. That's how it works. You're in a bad place. The ER/IP is the best place for you right now.