[lilypup]

I just need someone to listen and any advice you might want to share.

For those of you new to my saga, I have three adult children living at home for various reasons. One is going to college, one is working and lost a roommate and moved home, and one moved home because his new job was closer. (He had a 90 minute commute from his old place).

My oldest (29) has bipolar. The youngest (23) has depression and anger problems. The middle one is mentally stable.

Last night the oldest took double the dose of her Lamictal by accident. She was really in a panic about this. I called the poison control line and they said no big deal. But she was very upset and I wound up watching her all night to make sure she was breathing. I am super disoriented and cranky today from little sleep.

I found out my youngest has stopped taking his Lexapro about five days ago. I know his anger and depression will come back. I told him this is a deal breaker and he needed to think about moving out if he was not going to take his meds. He hasn't responded. (I texted him.)

My meds have gotten me out of a severe depression. They have gotten me to a flat mood. My tdoc and I want to get my mood to just above baseline so I am getting a little joy and interest in life. We made a list of things to work on to elevate my mood. But I wake up in a halfway decent mood and get hit with these kids. My husband is great, we're doing fine financially, etc. so I shouldn't have all this drama.

Thanks for listening...I sure needed to vent.

[Woolly Bugger]

You can only be as happy as your most miserable child... I have a 30 year old daughter living with me, and she is not quite right. She might be bipolar like me, but I am not sure. She does virtually nothing with her young children, but leaves it up to us to nurture them. My wife is upset, but I remind her that you can't change everything quickly and some things you can't change at all. We asked them to live with us because she was homeless, and now it is our job to take care of the kids. That's what we wanted, that's what we got, and that's what we have to accept.

I apologize for rambling, but my situation seems similar to yours. I also had another daughter and her two babies living with us, but she couldn't take it and moved away. Fortunately. In your case, I would do my best to accept the situation and help your children as much as you can. I know it is difficult, but that is your job right now.

As for being in a flat mood, that's all I get out of life, and I've accepted that too. Sometimes there is a little happiness, frequently there is contentment, but never joy. I'm ok with that.

Good luck.

[lilypup]

Thanks WB. We ARE thankful we have no grandkids as that would be a tough thing for me.
I agree you gotta help them as much as you can.

While I understand your feelings, I still have hope for a bit of joy. We worked hard all of our lives and it seems silly to settle. But I respect where you are at.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Three adult children...you've got a full house. Can you make plans to slowly start moving them out? If not, could you work with your tdoc for some strategies to help with the drama? I agree you need joy in your life. I hope that happens for you soon. Best wishes.

[lilypup]

Thanks so much Jennifer, you are so kind.

The middle son is soon to buy a house and he will be gone. My daughter has some small debts to pay off, then she will saving intensely for the down payment on a condo. The youngest is a mess, he may never leave...jk!

[Unrigged64072835]

My daughter is 20. She's going to school part-time and working short-hours so she has time to study and do homework. She makes good commission a lot so she's saving up to move out eventually. She has depression and anxiety as well, so mostly I just listen to her and validate her feelings, and give some advice without expectation that it will be used. I think having her boyfriend move in has wised her up a bit, along with the job and college. Since she's paying for one of her classes (we pay for the other) she realizes that she can't get by on D's like she was in high school. It's for a job she wants to get into (interpreting for the deaf) so she's working hard on it. The boyfriend is paying for his school too, also I tend to remind him about Pell grants. I think he's more interested in becoming a manager at the supermarket he currently works at. We told them both that this a temporary thing. We'll see how it goes.

[lilypup]

Sounds like you are pretty generous. Amazing how many of us are dealing with "situations" with adult kids. Thanks for responding.