[Wander]

Saw my T today and he was very concerned. I've been exhausted for months but in the last two weeks it has become very intense. Along with that my mood has dropped and I feel suicidal. My T and I contacted my pdoc and I'm seeing him tomorrow. Not sure what to expect as I am about to lose it completely. He might want me IP. I am just so exhausted, low and hopeless. I start back at university in less than two weeks and right now cannot imagine how I will get through it. I also have work this weekend and don't know how on earth I will cope physically and mentally.

It has been over two months since I came out of a psychotic mixed episode and now comes the depression. I just want to give up. I can't take much more of this.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I'm glad you're seeking help. Maybe IP would be a good idea considering the state you are in. You've still got two weeks before school starts. You could be feeling better. You might want to call into work though. Hold on. I wish you the best.

I would maybe call in sick, at work so you have time to think. Ive experienced two psychotic episodes and the second took even longer to recover from.

I agree with both posters

If you don't go to IP, i think you can benefit from taking the weekend off if you have enough vacation/sick days to do so. But IP may be beneficial because I guess you can't keep taking days off without having a proven medical reason. (Boss would get mad, I presume.) Also, you can't afford to have depression whilst in school IMO. Been there, done that! Not a good mixture.

I'm not trying to come across as an asshole. Just trying to make sure you get better and keep your job

So all in all, I think ip might be a good choice for you in terms of keeping your job and getting better before school starts

[bizi]

What are your meds right now?
Maybe you could just need a tweek?
From past IP stays, it seems to take a while to get back to stability.
Maybe you could take a semester off from school to become more stable?
Worried about you, glad that you are seeking help.
Keep us updated.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[bioChE]

Sorry you're struggling. Maybe a short IP stay would be best before you start Uni again.

Its not the end of the world if u need an inpatiant stay at least u can see doctors more often n can change meds about. I missd end of my college course this year last module and end exam. I am going to go back and finish it march nxt year so i have time to kick back.
In my experience after a psychotic episode u have no option but to chill. Has it affected your concentration? I know mine did, so i could barely read a tabloid paper nevermind study . And the slump in mood that follows is crippling. Its a lot to juggle work and study and socialise when feeling your best so it must be hard for u.
You can catch up with your studies if worst comes to worst
I know the frustration and panic you go through because i had to leave a full time job not long ago but not cause i was unwell. I felt awful as i wanteed to keep job till season finished . But things dont always go to plan

[Victoria'smom]

I'd go with IP if it's an option they can do the quickest med change before school.

[lilypup]

I agree with a lot of this.
If your work situation is a continual problem, you might consider getting an ADA thing going. This helped my daughter immensely by getting her into a much less stressful position.
As far as school goes, depression and school don't mix. In my case, I wasted tuition several times. I had to learn that my bipolar was at times going to change my life plans.
You're not a failure or anything if you have to take time out. It beats having a total meltdown.

Love ya,
lily

[Wild Coyote]

Sorry you are having a difficult time. Lots of great feedback here. I have nothing to add.

(((((( Wander ))))))

Please take good care of yourself.


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

It seems like you're about to get somewhere, then the bipolar knocks you down.

IP for a week or so wouldn't hurt. Give some time for new or more meds to kick in.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by lilypup

I agree with a lot of this.
If your work situation is a continual problem, you might consider getting an ADA thing going. This helped my daughter immensely by getting her into a much less stressful position.
As far as school goes, depression and school don't mix. In my case, I wasted tuition several times. I had to learn that my bipolar was at times going to change my life plans.
You're not a failure or anything if you have to take time out. It beats having a total meltdown.

Love ya,
lily

Wander is in Australia. ADA doesn't apply.

[wildflowerchild25]

I'm so sorry you're going through this again. I hope your pdoc can help you soon. You don't deserve all this.

[Wander]

Thanks so much for the warm replies and great suggestions everyone. It is morning here now and I feel awful. Seeing my pdoc at 3 pm. I think he will up my Prozac and possibly admit me as soon as a bed is available. I just can't go on like this. I have been fighting so hard to stay well but the floor has collapsed underneath me. I can't go on like this. Hopefully I will pick up soon enough to go to university but if I have to drop out this semester I will. The psychic pain is immense. I need help or I will drown very soon.

[hopeless2015]

Sending big hugs!!

[Icare dixit]

What meds are you on?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Thinking of you Wander. I hope your appointment goes well and you feel comfortable with your pdoc's suggestions.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

What meds are you on?

Lithium 900 mg, Prozac 15 mg and Clonazepam 2 mg. Plus thyroxine for thyroid.

[lilypup]

Oops Wander...did not realize you were in Australia. Sorry I suggested the ADA thing.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by lilypup

Oops Wander...did not realize you were in Australia. Sorry I suggested the ADA thing.

That's ok.

[xRavenx]

Take care of yourself, Wander. We're here for you. Hugs!

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by Wander

Lithium 900 mg, Prozac 15 mg and Clonazepam 2 mg. Plus thyroxine for thyroid.

Have you ever tried an antipsychotic and the lithium without the antidepressant and the benzodiazepine? I know I must sound like a broken record, but I don't see how combining meds that destabilise and stabilise are ever a good idea. Benzos shouldn't be used as prophylactic, as part of a maintenance treatment, at all. Anxiolytics will eventually cause (surges of) anxiety, but lack of anxiety is also destabilising.

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

Have you ever tried an antipsychotic and the lithium without the antidepressant and the benzodiazepine? I know I must sound like a broken record, but I don't see how combining meds that destabilise and stabilise are ever a good idea. Benzos shouldn't be used as prophylactic, as part of a maintenance treatment, at all. Anxiolytics will eventually cause (surges of) anxiety, but lack of anxiety is also destabilising.

Lithium did me more damage than my AP, and id only took it for three to four months and been on AP for 8 years!

[Wander]

Saw my pdoc and he is putting me IP tomorrow. I have nothing left to give.

[hopeless2015]

Keep us posted, we'll all be thinking about you. Hugs!!