[dshantel]

So I tried talking to my husband about what would happen if I was to ever be hospitalized and it didn't go very well. He pretty much blew up and said, "well I guess I'd lose my job." I told him that I didn't see how he jumped to that conclusion and that I'd Hope he'd talk to his boss about getting a day off to call his dad and see if he'd come help. He then said that his dad wouldn't do that. I don't understand why his dad wouldn't come help in an emergency situation. They took the kids for almost 2 weeks a few months back. His dad doesn't work anymore so I guess I assumed it wouldn't be that big a deal if it had to happen. He then says that his dad has a life and it's not his responsibility to take care of our kids. So at this point I just ended the conversation. I can never talk to my husband about anything that has to do with my mental health. He doesn't understand and I don't get much support from him in that area. He complains about my having appointments on his off days because he doesn't want to spend them taking me somewhere even though last time I took an Uber he still complains about it. He's not happy about my appointment tomorrow or my group on Thursdays. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm going crazy and I feel like I'm just going to explode. There's so much going on in my head and I can't even be 100% honest about my thoughts for fear of being hospitalized. I'm not going to attempt or anything but I do still have SI. I'm already medium risk. Early I was pretty upset and I had the thought that I just want to go home. What the heck? It was like a subconscious thought to being back home with my family in TX. I'm an adult and I shouldn't feel so bad that I think somehow being home again as if I were a child would make things better. I'm just so tired of all of this. I don't feel like I'm a person with a life anymore. I'm just here to do what my husband needs me to do and care for our children. My needs and wants don't matter anymore. I just don't understand the point in being here if this is what life is. This is not what I imagined my life to be when I was younger. I know you give up things to be a wife and mother but no one said anything about giving up your life entirely. Right now in this moment I just want to break everything and scream and run away. I can't deal with this. None of this. It's too much.

[Woolly Bugger]

I am sorry you are struggling. How old are your children?

[dshantel]

Originally Posted by Woolly Bugger

I am sorry you are struggling. How old are your children?

7, 5, 3 and 7 months.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry your husband reacted like that. He sounds scared. Can he go with you to talk to your T and maybe have the conversation with him/her there? Can anyone in your family can come or look into emergency daycare options? It's pretty selfish of him to complain about your Dr's appointments.

[Guiness187055]

My wife went to a few of my doctors visits to give her insight. She still dose not fully understand my bipolar but it helped a little.

[Woolly Bugger]

It would be unfair to ask your father-in-law to take care of your children by himself, I think. I have five young grandchildren myself, with two on the way. I can deal with the twin six year olds just fine, but I simply can't -- and won't -- watch the younger ones. I do not have the skills. Somehow you are going to have to get help from some other place. If it were me, I think I would get a part-time job evenings so I could make the money I would need to pay to have a baby-sitter while I went to my therapy sessions. This would make you independent, and your husband would have no cause to complain. As for going to the hospital for an extended stay, just go. Your husband and your children will survive. Your health comes first.

[bukowski06]

Hello, I just wanted to show my support for your situation that you described. I'm not sure but I think I read in a different post that you or your husband is in the military? The military had lots of information about mental health and they receive screenings periodically. But it sounds like he would be resistant about obtaining information. My husband was diagnosed with schizoaffective and he refuses to talk about it, so it may be a male thing too.

[dshantel]

Originally Posted by bukowski06

Hello, I just wanted to show my support for your situation that you described. I'm not sure but I think I read in a different post that you or your husband is in the military? The military had lots of information about mental health and they receive screenings periodically. But it sounds like he would be resistant about obtaining information. My husband was diagnosed with schizoaffective and he refuses to talk about it, so it may be a male thing too.

Yes he's in the army reserve. They do briefs on mental illness, mostly focusing on ptsd. He just thinks I use my illness for excuses. Or like how I was just given another diagnosis along with bipolar that every time I see a different doc they will add something else on. I try to get him to read about it. It's hard to talk to him about what's going on in my head because then I'm complaining or I'm never happy.

[JanusunaJ]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. It can be all the more difficult when those that are closest to you make themselves unavailable to simply listen to your expression of the pain you're experiencing.

Maybe you can talk to your husband about comorbidity. It seems that it's very typical for a person to not suffer from a single mental illness, but rather at least two, simultaneously. For instance, bipolar and anxiety or MDD and anxiety seem to go hand-in-hand.

It's also never pleasant to be silenced by way of a person begetting fear of censure for talking about depression, suicidality, etc. or instilling a self-doubt regarding your own psychological experience. I find that to be very inappropriate and quite harmful, actually; it's almost akin to a passive manipulation or gaslighting. I'm not sure of what approaches you've used to talk with your husband about your health, but maybe you could try a different method to try to get him to understand just how serious your mental health is to your general well-being.

I don't really understand how he can be aware of the seriousness of mental health by way of his military career, but seemingly disregard your own experience.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Raising 4 children under 8 is a lot to handle on top of your illness. If you break down I would imagine there would be massive upheaval in your family especially for your husband. I'm sorry he's not being more supportive. You need to take good care of yourself and of your mental health. Somehow that needs to get through to him. Can you take him along with you to a couple of tdoc or pdoc appointments? Sending big hugs.

This doesn't sound like a supportive situation at all. It's not fair but reality is that most people are ignorant as all heck about mental illness and could care less about learning. My husband and I both have PTSD and depression ....plus my husband is a mental health professional with close family members who suffer so I'm lucky he gets most of what I deal with. He's still invalidating but willing to take a step back and examine his preconceived ideas which is more than many are capable of doung. Your hubby needs to wake the heck up....bipolar is not an excuse, it's a reason. That is some invalidating bullchit for him to think it's an excuse, whoa!