[harmonyinheart]

My psychiatrist pointed out to me yesterday that Typically, when speaking of my depression, I talk about it as if it is something separate from me. He said cancer patients often do that when trying to cope with their illnnesss. I said I didn't realize I was doing that. Truth is, I still don't really see it. I don't understand how to talk about it any differently that makes it seem like I am not talking as if it is distinct from me. I thought I was talking about it as a part of me.

Kind of jumbled post here, but anyone else relate?

[bioChE]

I see myself as a different person when manic or depressed. I don't really consider that to be the core "me." I don't know that I speak of it as separate from me, but I can kind of see what you're talking about.

[mossanimal]

Maybe he just means that since you have the genes for bipolar (it is genetic afterall)... so.. that is you. You can't change it really.. just control it. Depression and mania and in-between are all aspects of you.

I feel the illnesses and symptoms I get are something that happens to me, .....something to get rid of. Why would I see it any differently? I'm not sure that's what you are talking about though.

[UpDownAround]

I do notice there is a difference in how we relate to it. I say "when I am depressed (or hypomanic)" and some people say "my depression (or mania)" like it is an external thing. Elsa sees it as a thing that happens to her which she doesn't like and I see it as a part of who I am that I hope to change. Neither of us is wrong; we get to choose how to relate to it.

[Sunflower123]

I say I am depressed sometimes and I have depression others so I guess I talk both ways.

[glowsinthedark]

i have always described my depression like it's an alien entity that takes over my mind and body. I don't feel like "i'm depressed" but rather I have been infected by something totally foreign to "me." i've wondered if this is sort of specific to bp, because moods can be so sudden and drastic and without any external cause...

[harmonyinheart]

A lot of what you are all saying resonates with me; it would be strenuous to reply to every one individually. But you all are saying what I'm thinking about.

And I also thought, of course I'm putting it in more objective terms because I am trying to make it understandable to an "outsider ". In order for another person to understand, to grasp what I'm going through, I guess I objectify it, therefore it comes off as if I consider it wholly distinct from me then I suppose. But I don't know how to relay what's happening with out doing so. Wouldn't they be confused?
I don't know if that makes sense.

My mind is jumbled lately and am having trouble getting myself across.

[laracroft3]

I hope this doctor isn't trying to make you believe that this is abnormal in anyway, cause that alone is actually very normal.
When going through anxiety or depression I don't feel like that defines me at all.
I feel like it's something controlling me that I can't fight off. Eventually we can all take control of it at some point.

[Bill3]

Some therapies actually want people to think of depression as something outside of them, as suggested by laracroft3. Something that comes and stays unwelcome for a while but also leaves.

[JanusunaJ]

These are all really interesting posts. I've wondered about a very similar, if not the same, idea myself. I started a thread on another forum on this site about referring to one's self as your illness. For instance, "I am bipolar" versus "I have bipolar disorder." Would you say "she is cancer" about someone that has cancer?

I can see saying "I am depressed" even though it could be interpreted as saying you are that disease versus "I suffer from depression." It'd be very similar to saying "I am happy." I don't think anyone says "I am in a state of happiness." I suppose it can boil down to the perspective, connotation, or stigma associated with the discriptor.

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by QuixoticDeLaEternal

These are all really interesting posts. I've wondered about a very similar, if not the same, idea myself. I started a thread on another forum on this site about referring to one's self as your illness. For instance, "I am bipolar" versus "I have bipolar disorder." Would you say "she is cancer" about someone that has cancer?

I can see saying "I am depressed" even though it could be interpreted as saying you are that disease versus "I suffer from depression." It'd be very similar to saying "I am happy." I don't think anyone says "I am in a state of happiness." I suppose it can boil down to the perspective, connotation, or stigma associated with the discriptor.

Depressed is not a disease; it is a state of mind that people who do not have depression slip into because of things going differently than they would like until they turn it around or get over it. Then they tell us that's all we need to do.

You have to be careful who you tell that you are happy so they don't change your meds to fix that. My pdoc and tdoc are watching me pretty closely because I have been slightly hypomanic with a few upward spikes since the last med change. I like it a lot because I was depressed so much of the time for so long before this. I feel like one of the patients in "Awakenings" (movie) and I don't want to go back in the coma. I have made a few inappropriate comments and been a bit of a smartass a few times but have not gone too far in. But the smiles and the laughter are so addictive.