[bewise93]

So I am gay, yes. (Elephant in the Room) I went on a date with a wonderful guy, and he is in graduate school for psychology. On our first date, he opened up about his recurrent major depression with panic disorder, so I opened up about my bipolar. He said he will always lay it all out in the open on a first date so that person knows what they are getting into. After the awkward mental illness convos, we talked about hobbies, our dogs, our aspirations. But now we have a second date, and it's someone I feel comfortable with already. I've only had one ex that was okay with my bipolar. We are the same age, same interests. We even look the same. I just hope we don't have too much in common. But wow, it's like I don't feel ashamed.

[~Christina]

Great News ! Im glad you both got the whole MI stuff out in the open right off the bat.

Just enjoy the company of each other. Its easy to forget our own self care, just something to think about.

Take care

[5150DirtDiva]

Awesome! It is so awesome to start a new connection with someone! Best of luck, happiness is hard to find!

[hopeless2015]

Awesome!!

That's fantastic! I hope you guys have an awesome second date.

[UpDownAround]

I think it is a myth that you can have too much in common. I feel like my wife and I don't have enough in common. We used to, but she has lost interest in some things and I have in others. If we had more in common to start with, there would be more left, if that makes any sense. Hope things continue to go well for you.

[bewise93]

Originally Posted by UpDownAround

I think it is a myth that you can have too much in common. I feel like my wife and I don't have enough in common. We used to, but she has lost interest in some things and I have in others. If we had more in common to start with, there would be more left, if that makes any sense. Hope things continue to go well for you.

Yeah, that's true. I feel like most relationships are more about how we communicate and show affection with each other, maybe not as much what we have in common.

[Daonnachd]

Right on!

Thank you, too, for the reminder that "relationships are more about how we communicate and show affection." It's a valuable perspective.

[bioChE]

I agree about the communication. My wife and I have been married 14 years, and we don't really have many common hobbies or interests, other than the kids. That being said, we take interest in what the other likes, simply because we care about each other.

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by bioChE

I agree about the communication. My wife and I have been married 14 years, and we don't really have many common hobbies or interests, other than the kids. That being said, we take interest in what the other likes, simply because we care about each other.

Our problem is that doesn't happen. I am interested in some things she does that I don't but for the last few years, she has zero interest in what I do and is impatient when I talk about it. She is also not interested in sharing any affection. Doesn't bode well for the future once all the kids are out. Youngest will be 21 in less than 4 years.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by UpDownAround

Our problem is that doesn't happen. I am interested in some things she does that I don't but for the last few years, she has zero interest in what I do and is impatient when I talk about it. She is also not interested in sharing any affection. Doesn't bode well for the future once all the kids are out. Youngest will be 21 in less than 4 years.

Yeah, sex is important too.

[UpDownAround]

Originally Posted by bioChE

Yeah, sex is important too.

I think it is being withheld to force my hand (and not just that way ). I think she wants out but doesn't want to be the parent that suggests separation. Kids are young adults now; they know what's going on and they know that wanting some affection from my wife doesn't make me a pervert. She has worked her way to the top of the list of stressors and depression spiral triggers (crashing from hypo is what gets me depressed and then triggers make me spiral, or at least that's the way I look at it).
I have been pushing for couples counseling for some time and need to step that up to ultimatum. No therapist will support her position and she knows that.
I apologize to the OP for hijacking a good news thread with a discussion of my screwed up relationship.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bewise93

So I am gay, yes. (Elephant in the Room) I went on a date with a wonderful guy, and he is in graduate school for psychology. On our first date, he opened up about his recurrent major depression with panic disorder, so I opened up about my bipolar. He said he will always lay it all out in the open on a first date so that person knows what they are getting into. After the awkward mental illness convos, we talked about hobbies, our dogs, our aspirations. But now we have a second date, and it's someone I feel comfortable with already. I've only had one ex that was okay with my bipolar. We are the same age, same interests. We even look the same. I just hope we don't have too much in common. But wow, it's like I don't feel ashamed.

Take it a step at a time and thoroughly enjoy the journey!


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Congrats! Hope it works out for you and your date.

My husband and I waited until the second date to lay it all out. He has MS and depression from that. Despite all that we are married and have been for each other since.

[bewise93]

I have heard that it's not good for two mentally ill people to have a relationship, but what I've found is that if I dated someone who didn't understand bipolar and never even tried, it was a worse relationship. And that's especially true when someone is demanding and judgmental/controlling when I'm in a depression. And one of my exes witnessed a manic episode, and I was hospitalized. He came and visited me every day for the 4 days I was there and called me twice a day. But a week after I got out of the hospital, he broke up with me.