Questions Bipolar Version 3

If I have been manic for a little while. I usually make an appt. with my Psych when this happens.

What is your longest period of stability?

That is a good question.

I was diagnosed in 1985. I was hospitalized from 1999-2002, a little over three years. I was further institutionalized from 2005 until released in mid-2012.

During those years, 1985-2012, I never enjoyed an extended period of stability. I have been fine, okay, even happy, now, and for the previous 16 months and, although still orbiting a manic-sphere, I think that I can say that I have achieved a certain stasis during this period. I cannot take credit for this ‘stability;’ it began with a few old friends getting me out of my god-damned bedroom, old and new friends getting me back to my god-damned bedroom and playing with strangers.

I was healed by Marvin Gaye, Nancy, Laura, Greg, Barry, Patricia (not Patty) and the kindness of strangers.

So, I am now more stable than I have been in, at least, 31 years.

I did not think to include those who knew me well in my lists of medications because I did not wish to appear needy. I felt myself to be an untouchable. I needed others, though. I needed touch. I needed to argue with Greg, I needed Laura to help me organize my life, and I needed the long, cool comfort and understanding of Nancy.

My hypergraphia is under control although I drift in and out of truly creative modes and these prosaic modes just kill me. I have the occasional god-moments but any of those listed in the previous paragraph can readily tether me.

Life is good.

That must count for something close to stability?

Sounds like stability to me.

New question: Do you get mixed episodes?

Yes. I’m an inpatient at the moment because of mixed episodes.

What is a distraction technique you use when you are thinking destructive thoughts?

I like listening to my tranquility CD.

I mention it a lot, but it's worth buying if you've not done so all ready.

10 cds full of relaxing music

question:

how often do you find your distraction methods don't work?

It depends where my mood is.

Would you/have you dated someone else with mental illness?

Damn. I’m going to admit to prejudice and answer ‘no.’

I don’t believe that I could stand to be around someone so steeped in misery as I have been. Nor anyone so manic. Or as needy. Annoying. Vain. Mean, mean, mean. Unconventional. No, I cannot imagine being in a relationship with anyone with a mental health issue.

I cannot think of a question. Pass.

Repeat of last question: I would probably be willing to try dating someone with mental illness but wary at the same time.

Will you follow the winter olympics?

Yes I likely will. I enjoy watching the speed of the skiing and bobsled/luge (sp) and skeleton racing

Q. Are you ready for Christmas as it looms large?

I am almost done shopping but having a hard time because my gall bladder needs to come out and I am so sick going in a store is nearly impossible. I'm trying to change my brother's gift to something I can get mail order and then I'll be done. Except for IOUs to my nieces for sewing projects as I'm too sick to attempt sewing.

Do you ever get days and nights confused?

Answer: Kind of, but not really. My last inpatient I was so heavily medicated I was mostly in and out of sleep for I think two to three days, so during my brief awake episodes I had to ask what day and time it was. At night lately, I've been having really long crazy dreams. When I wake up, the timing confuses me, but if it is a work day, I usually know it's not time for work, if my alarm hasn't gone off. If I wasn't working, I would be getting my days nights confused more than likely. My sleep is pretty erratic, but since I have to work, I can't just sleep when I want/need too, like would normally under these circumstances.

Question: Have you ever been sent home from work; because of your bp?

My employer didn’t know I had bipolar disorder. But I imagine they surmised I was having “problems,” but I was very good at being composed at work....for awhile.

I got really sick and I was in IP for six months and then went on SSDI two months after my release. My mom had died and I took a leave of absence (and ultimately was told by my mental health care team I couldn’t work anymore). Her death definitely impacted my health, but it was only a partial reason for my complete “mental breakdown.”

My husband told them about my leave of absence and made vague hints of not feeling well due to my mother’s death. They awaited my return to work and I told them nine months later I was resigning...citing needing to be with family.

They tried me to return again, six months later...I am not competent to have that level of responsibility. I’m surprised I didn’t accidentally make a mistake ending in legal malpractice, I was so sick. I tried really hard, so maybe that’s why...the stress just buckled me. Bipolar and law practice aren’t a good career match.

Question: Have you ever been sent home from work because of bipolar?

Sort of. I was sent home from work as part of the process of being fired for having bipolar. It never made sense.

New question: Besides weight gain and sedation what side effect do you hate the most?

The side effect I hate the most is trouble swallowing after I take seroquel

Q: How many pills do you take a day?

18 1/2 including vitamins. Plus a patch. And I'm not taking another 3-4 pills right now because of gall bladder issues that will eventually be fixed and the side effect will return requiring the meds again.

Do you take vitamins or supplements?

Just probiotics.
Q:Have you been married more than once, or are you single?

I was married, then widowed 15 years ago, single since.

What would you like to accomplish in the rest of your life?

I've been asked if I had one wish what it would be, my answer was to be mindful for the rest of my life. Living in the moment always.
Q: what is your wish?

to be able to return to my career.

What was the best thing that happened to you in 2017?

I went back on meds.

What's the worst thing that happened to you in 2017?