Out of a 3 Month Manic Episode. No thanks to pdoc

I've posted on here before, so I'll try to make this quick. I started having my first real manic episode in July. I went to pdoc. He told my I was "excited." I had just hired with a really good job, but I could tell this wasn't regular excitement. Besides not sleeping for days, my whole personality had flipped. In August, my T noticed I was manic, but he decided not to mention it for 3 sessions. I went to pdoc. He added depakote to a bunch of other meds I was already taking for other things that should have prevented or dulled down a manic episode in the first place. It didn't work. I was about to get fired. I went to my pdoc appointment, and the office was closed. Well, I may have happened to take one pharmacolgy class way back when and some chemistry, so I decided to look at some pharmacology journals having to do with Bipolar disorder treatment. (Yes, I have just enough knowledge to be dangerous.) I took double my usual seroquel. Today, I've had the first non-manic day in three months. Obviously, I'm not advocating messing with your own meds. I shouldn't have done it either. I'm just lucky it worked, and yes, I will be honest with my pdoc. I'm going to run out of my meds early now, unfortunately. I was getting 4 or less hours of sleep every night, and today, I slept most of the day, but at least, I feel balanced. Am I going to get fired anyways? Possibly, I've caused enough damage and annoyance in three months as it is.

I’m sorry your pdoc was so unhelpful. I hope you don’t get fired. I’m glad the seroquel is at least working!

Oh my god, I am sorry that happened to you!!

It would have been nice if your therapist had said something. I argued with mine when he noticed and told me I was manic. All I was doing was trying to order him some lunch from the restaurant downstairs and have it brought up (I get generous when manic). But maybe you would have listened.

You did the right thing. My previous psychiatrist said I could take extra quetiapine/seroquel if I needed to slow myself down.

I hope you keep your job. Perhaps you can tell them you had a medical issue? I don’t know how you feel about that. I think it might protect your job. It did mine.

Maybe folks can jump in on this?

I am glad to hear you are feeling stable and I hope you do not lose your job. Is finding another pdoc possible for you? I don't think I would want one that doesn't listen to me. You might want to inform them what you did with your meds so hopefully you can get another prescription written. It is good you are taking care of yourself.

I wonder if you shouldn't come clean with your HR department about your situation, and then take a little sick time until you are better. I suppose it could backfire, but it could also save your job. Just a thought.

Believe me I wish I could! I've literally been turned down by every pdoc in 3 hour radius, even the community pdocs. Yes, I have insurance. They still won't take me. I've never been violent. Yet, somehow my case is "too complicated." My T is a friend of this pdoc, and the pdoc does tend to be disorganized. My T pulled a few strings. It's actually his receptionists that are the problem though. They won't answer phones, and they don't always call when the pdoc needs to reschedule. However, this pdoc is one of the rare pdocs that, if you can get a hold of his receptionists, and you're having a meltdown he will make time to see you same day. He generally won't make appointments longer than a month apart either. It's just impossible to get a hold of him without going to his office, which isn't close by, and showing up freaking out. (That might end badly of course.)

I did that once already after the first med change. They wouldn't let go back. I had to get a doctor's note. I got it. I came back, and they were already trying to give my job away to another girl who ended failing the exams.

That is so frustrating. My last psychiatrist had a website that said he wouldn’t take serious cases. Made me think he would drop me at the first sign of trouble, then what?

I hope things will be OK at work

I hope he will be understanding about you making the med adjustment and maybe put you on a more therapeutic dose.

Me too. I'm really thinking about giving up at this point. Although, even though I already have a Bachelor's, for some reason I applied and got accepted into college again. Then, I got mad at my boss for trying to give away my job. So now, I'm going to be working and going to school. Also, I'll be making less money and working more weekends. Apparently, I talked my boss into that? Ugh, if this balanced phase lasts, I'm going to have a lot of cleaning up to do over Manic me's antics. Oh well, at least my new expensive couch is comfy.