[zbmom]

OK so I'm bipolar, I struggle with my mental health, I'm not doing great right now. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and one with my pdoc Monday to look at med options. I'm doing everything I can to take care of myself but....

I lead a double life. I'm a therapist, I work as a school social worker. My job is really stressful. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite because I don't have my mental health under control. Today a kid at my school overdosed on pills. I had to call an ambulance, I had to watch the paramedics force her to drink charcoal. I watched her throw it all up. I watched her mom's heart break.

This was a kid who I previously assessed. I twisted the mom's arm to get her assessed in the community. Mom did, she did all the right things. Kid was seeing a therapist. I was just available for crisis support on campus. She was doing OK at last check in and I have so many kids on my caseload I can't get to them all every week. It's always triage. I feel horrible this slipped through the cracks.

Today sucked. I work my *** off. I do a good job. But the needs are so high and there is only one of me. I don't know if this was preventable. I know her regular T obviously didn't catch her decompensation. I just feel bad. After the paramedics took her away I sat in my office and cried for a few minutes and then I had to move on to the next kid.

I'm not sure why I'm even posting this. I don't expect advice or anything. I just, I'm having a rough time. I'm trying to do good in the world despite being mentally ill myself and it's hard sometimes. I'm not doing well myself. I'm going to get some help but tonight I've relapsed in my cutting and I've gotten drunk. I guess it's a good thing because with no filter I've confessed to my husband how bad I've been doing. I don't like to burden him. But he is supportive. And I know tomorrow is a new day and I'll get through it. I'll see my own T and that's good. But today was so hard and so rough and this is where I'm at now for what it's worth.

(((((((((zbmom))))))))) I'm sorry you had such a rough day. That situation would be very stressful. Sending good thoughts your way.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I don't know what would be helpful to say but I'm so sorry you had such a hard day. It sounds like you really care for your students. I hope your therapist can help tomorrow.

Wow, you have a tough job...I’m sure the stress is very hard on you.

You’re doing the best you can; I hope you don’t take things to heart

[Wild Coyote]

You have a tough job and it's even tougher when there are not enough resources for the caseloads. Realistically, some people are going to fall through the cracks, which sucks, and for which you may feel guilty.
You are giving your job responsibilities your very best, which is all you can do. Crisis work can be very stressful and has a high burn out rate.

You are very insightful to have already scheduled your therapist and a pdoc.
I am very concerned about the cutting. Please keep yourself safe. Take time off if you must, in order to give yourself a break.

Please go to the ER if things start getting worse.
Be safe.

WC

[zbmom]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

You have a tough job and it's even tougher when there are not enough resources for the caseloads. Realistically, some people are going to fall through the cracks, which sucks, and for which you may feel guilty.
You are giving your job responsibilities your very best, which is all you can do. Crisis work can be very stressful and has a high burn out rate.

You are very insightful to have already scheduled your therapist and a pdoc.
I am very concerned about the cutting. Please keep yourself safe. Take time off if you must, in order to give yourself a break.

Please go to the ER if things start getting worse.
Be safe.

WC

Thanks I appreciate it. Don’t worry about the cutting. I know for some people it’s a big risk factor but I’ve struggled with self injury off and on for almost 20 years. It’s just an unhealthy coping mechanism that helps me. I’ve never had an infection or had to get medical attention for it and I would never kill myself that way. In fact it’s kept me alive many times and my T and pdoc know all that. But I do thank you for your concern.

[WildcatVet]

Originally Posted by zbmom

Thanks I appreciate it. Don’t worry about the cutting. I know for some people it’s a big risk factor but I’ve struggled with self injury off and on for almost 20 years. It’s just an unhealthy coping mechanism that helps me. I’ve never had an infection or had to get medical attention for it and I would never kill myself that way. In fact it’s kept me alive many times and my T and pdoc know all that. But I do thank you for your concern.

I know what you mean...I think a few have saved my life too. Just a little release from it all...