[Tryingtobehappy5]

I havent offered support to anyone here lately so I wont be upset if people ignore this. Plus this is a stupid post because I am so confused right now I'm not even sure what's wrong. Bipolar, personality disorder, pms?

I have extreme cravings for alcohol, I'm taking pain meds for emotional turmoil and fast unpredictable mood swings. Ignoring people who say they want to hang out and being incredibly lonely. Being angry at my husband for giving away my whiskey and taking all the pills to work(except the Tylenol extra that I found spilled in the back of the cupboard and I took of course). I have zopiclone too but I have the kids here and husband is already worried I'm not stable enough to look after them.

I just want to give up but my T says its not easy to give up because people will still try to help me and I know she's right. I'm not sure I want to die but maybe that's the only way out of a living hell. I dont understand why I only get a good week or two on a med and then it all falls apart again. Its bull, I dont know whats wrong. I feel like quitting my meds and staying drunk 24/7 none of the **** that happens matters then. Its the best I ever feel even with the extreme suicidal tendencies and I am constantly hurting my family by being like this anyways so whats the difference.

Dumb post but F it. Everything I do is dumb lately

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. I’m in a similar place. May we both find peace soon.

[Daonnachd]

I wish you the best even though I don't know how to suggest you go after it.

[Naynay99]

Hey. Just wanted to say that it's not a stupid post. You are struggling and not sure what's wrong and feel like giving up. That is a legitimate reason for reaching out and is a feeling I know well. You can survive this. Hang in there. Don't give up. Hugs.