[annielovesbacon]

Hi all,
I just started taking medicine for BP2. I'm supposed to leave Jan. 10 to study abroad and realistically will only be able to meet with my pdoc/therapist three more times until then.
I'm worried that I won't be on the meds by then, and I'm worried I won't be stable enough to live in another country, in the home of a family that may not understand mental illness, where I won't have access to mental health care for five months. But I've wanted to do this since I was 13, and it's kind of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I'm afraid that if I go, I'll have a breakdown or I won't enjoy myself because I'll be depressed or crazy. But I'm afraid if I don't go, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

I guess this is just kind of a rant. I don't know if anyone else has been in a similar situation or has any advice. I just don't know what to do, and I need to make a decision very soon.

[KattChaos]

With my bipolar even if I was having manic episodes while over there, being over there would be enough to keep me even because it's a new environment and what not. But that's me.

[99fairies]

We went on holiday last summer and I thought for sure it would destabilize me. But I was stable as a rock and had a wonderful, episode free time. Wishing you the best!

[*Laurie*]

First of all, which country will you be living in?

Why won't you be on medication and why can't you get mental health care abroad?

[still_crazy]

id try to do it anyway, honestly. i have a label of bipolar I, and going on vacations and such actually helps "stabilize" me. Its your decision, of course, but I'd hate for you to miss out.

[~Christina]

Any way to postpone your studies until your on meds and doing well ?

I've lived abroad on my own a few times, but was not yet diagnosed during any of them. The first time was when I was 21 (over 20 years ago). It turned out just fine, but that trip was only for one month. Prior to it I had been at least hypomanic, with a lot of irritability. Part of the reason why I left was because I couldn't concentrate on my summer studies and because half of the women in the shared apartment I lived in hated my guts (because of my sometimes violent and yelling manic behavior). During the trip I was still hypomanic, but with no irritability. I remember turning a couple of people off (surely from outlandish and grandiose hypomanic behavior) but nothing major. That experience was in Poland. I taught conversational English. My students seemed to like me. Given that, it was a success.

The second time I lived abroad was soon after graduation from college. I was supposed to be studying Chinese in Taipei, Taiwan for at least 6 months to a year. The unfortunate things was that I was in love with my boyfriend. I was lovesick and also got terribly sick from the water (nausea & severe diarrhea) . I missed so many classes and eventually became so depressed after a couple of months that I quit early and returned home.

The third time I went abroad was after I broke up with that boyfriend I mention above. I was hypomanic or even full blown manic for periods before and during the beginning of the trip. I was teaching English to children in Taichung, Taiwan and also studying Chinese at the same time. Let me tell you that my mania was bad and I did a lot of things that I would never ever do when not manic (making out with strange men I just met, one was even in the middle of a grassy highway divider). My Taiwanese assistant teacher complained about me. After the mania ended I became very depressed and couldn't go to my job and classes. My boss along with a couple of the Taiwanese teacher assistants took me to the hospital. The hospital sent me home to my apartment with bags and bags of pills that I to this day don't know what they were. I believe there were antidepressants in the bags. That's bad news for me, because they make me full blown manic. I have bipolar 1. In response I quit the job on the spur of a moment losing tons of money and decided to go on an Asian traveling extravaganza by myself. I went to Hong Kong. Whew! I almost had a fight with a Korean girl because her Israeli boyfriend was clearly into me. He even propositioned me for sex, but I did refuse. In Thailand I had affairs with two European guys then moved on to a Thai island. Then I got pick pocketed of most of my money and had to return to Bangkok, making me mixed manic. I then decided to go back to Taiwan and try to work under the table while studying again. The whole time period abroad was 6 months when it should have been 1 year. I gradually started getting depressed again in Taiwan so returned home to the U.S. My mood luckily lifted a bit, but as it was throughout most of my life I had episodes periodically. By the time I was 32 I finally got diagnosed bipolar 1 after a pretty horrible experience. That started my string of 10 psychiatric hospitalizations followed by 8 years on disability (up until today).

You have to decide what you want to do, but honestly, I'd make sure you were medicated unless you think you're doing great or your bipolar disorder is not very severe. One person above asked where you would be studying. Some (most) countries have much cheaper doctors visits than the United States and the medications are often a heck of lot cheaper, too. You can also buy traveler's insurance. Or will the study program you are part of offer some kind of insurance?

Studying abroad can be very stressful. That's why I didn't sugar coat my second two trips, but again I did have some lovesickness involved to ignite my episodes. I was also often drinking heavily.

Sometimes when I go on 1-2 week vacations either abroad or within the U.S. with my husband things go just fine. Sometimes I struggle not to want to be in the hotel room a lot of the time. Once I became manic w/psychosis during a trip to Maine because my pdoc added Provigil to my mix. My husband almost took me to the hospital during that trip. And all of that was on prescribed medication. Luckily during the Maine trip my husband made me stop the Provigil, which eased the mania enough to avoid the hospital and get home to my psychiatrist.

People think hypomania is just fine for most of life, but it isn't always so very wonderful. You can't imagine how many strangers in public used to yell at me to go home or shut up because I'd have tirades and other types of outbursts. As I said, though there were always people that LOVED my spirit, there were plenty that didn't.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

First of all, which country will you be living in?

What Laurie asked...If you're going to study somewhere where English is the first language, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I worked in Germany for three years & found living there with non-native language skills to be stressful. So stressful, in fact, that I can tell you hospitals in Germany are far more helpful & humane than hospitals here.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

First of all, which country will you be living in?

Why won't you be on medication and why can't you get mental health care abroad?

I'd be going to Ecuador. I would be on meds, the problem is just I don't know if the meds I just started are right for me...you know how it goes, meds are trial and error until you find what's right. I don't know if I'll have enough time to find what's right for me before I leave. And I can't depend on mental health care abroad, the university I would be at has no counseling center and I don't know if I could afford to see a therapist, who likely speaks limited English (and I speak limited Spanish).

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Any way to postpone your studies until your on meds and doing well ?

It's possible I could go in the fall but this spring is the ideal time in terms of where I'm at with my degree. It's definitely possible to study abroad for a shorter amount of time, like over spring break or the winter session...that's not exactly what I've always dreamed of, but I suppose it would be better than not having an experience abroad at all.