[SorryShaped]

Physically I feel like moving mountains, by pushing them. Mentally, I wish I were under the mountain, getting ground by it. I just feel rough today. I'd think I should feel physically bad with as much time exercising as I had yesterday. I don't really have a reason to feel bad. I'm not even thinking mostly. Just ugh in full force. Maybe it's because I liked the attention of that horrible woman, and I just miss the attention, but certainly not her behaviours and the cheating she was attempting to do with me.
Dunno, can't wait to see my friend at yoga tonight. She gives the best hugs

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry you’re feeling so rough (and about that terrible woman). I kept up with your posts yesterday. You did exercise for a long time. I admire that. I think I’d feel worlds better if I did that. I hope you feel better soon and enjoy Yoga (and your friend’s hugs) tonight.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m sorry you’re feeling so rough (and about that terrible woman). I kept up with your posts yesterday. You did exercise for a long time. I admire that. I think I’d feel worlds better if I did that. I hope you feel better soon and enjoy Yoga (and your friend’s hugs) tonight.

Thank you. I appreciate your paying attention. I feel like most attention I get is from the wrong people or in the wrong way. I intend to get to the gym 2 or more hours before yoga. I didn't get to walk/run this AM because of rain.
I really wish I had friends that would go with me every time or sometimes, but I have one friend I see there Mondays so I'd better be grateful for what I have. I am.

[SorryShaped]

Yoga can release emotions. I tried to hide the tears tonight. They were flowing like mad. I think only the instructor noticed. My face is sore and my eyes are puffy looking. It happened about 15 minutes in so I'm sure more people had to notice. I couldn't control it. I just let it come anyway and wiped my face on my shoulders constantly. I sat in my truck after, with my head on the steering wheel, trying to let any more of it in there also come out. Dry as a bone. Nothing. Ok. Time to drive home. I get 2 miles away and a Beck song starts playing in my head, the lyrics of which are in part "she'll do anything, to make you feel like an asshole." Tears again. Time to get off the road. Done.
A cop pulls up behind me. Great. Comes up to the window and knocks. I roll down the window and it's one that I've had interactions with before many times when a neighbor was out of his head. I'd know the neighbor since he was 12 and I knew what she was dealing with in him.
She looked at me and just asked one question. "Is this because you found out your wife cheated?"
Are you kidding me? I wouldn't put anything past the evil b-word. Why did I need to know this today? She told me about how she'd seen my ex's car at a hotel during the day with her now-ex many times over the last 2 years. I told her that I wasn't sure if she had the right person. She described both the car and the my ex. I just started laughing. She asked if I was ok. I asked if her ex was an a-hole.
"He was abusive to me all the time. He used to hit me and threaten to kill me."
I said, "isn't that just unfortunate for him, being with my ex?" She asked for confirmation that I'm divorced. Of course. She said they weren't together any more but that her ex-husband lost EVERYTHING in the divorce, she'd bled him dry.
I did the only thing I could at this point: HIGH FIVE!!!
I'm much better now.