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#1
Oct 19, 2017, 05:28 PM
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I was, for Thanksgiving.
I said no way. Not happening. Now way am I gonna sit in a room with her and make nice-nice after everything she's done to me. I have too much self-respect to do that. Period. I am so pissed!
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 You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd |
 99fairies, BeyondtheRainbow, paisleystar, rwwff, Sunflower123, Vaporeon, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
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#2
Oct 19, 2017, 06:34 PM
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Fortunately I’ve never been abused, but I admire you for standing up for yourself. You definitely don’t need to pretend everything is fine when it’s not! Better to cut toxic people right out.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| Sunflower123, Werewoman
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 Werewoman
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#3
Oct 19, 2017, 06:50 PM
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Not since the day Iran away. My dads funeral was tough because she was there but I mostly hid in the back room of funeral home.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| Sunflower123, Werewoman, ~Christina
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| Werewoman
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#4
Oct 19, 2017, 08:21 PM
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Yes I did. My mother knows what my abuser did to me, and said "well, you're family, you still need to have holidays dinners together".
I have not been to a family dinner in many many years, nor do I plan to
__________________
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
| Sunflower123, Vaporeon, Werewoman
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| Werewoman
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#5
Oct 19, 2017, 09:29 PM
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I feel it has been expected of me to spend time with my abuser on holidays, and birthday. However what I have done is pick weather I think that I can tolerate it or not. Family suggest they I don't let her "win" by me not showing up. It's not like that for me because I am not playing her games with her. It's as simple as knowing that I would be triggered by just the sound of her voice. Only I can save me, from her.
PS |
| Sunflower123, Werewoman
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| Werewoman
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#6
Oct 19, 2017, 09:35 PM
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Actually essentially never, but my abuser is a narcissist whose behavior has badly isolated her, nobody likes her, and our family is very small anyway, so she doesn't have anybody to play the role of apologist.
It will probably be somewhat unpleasant when she finally dies, as I expect various people from the state will expect me to do something, and I'm not going to do anything unless I get something out of it. If she gets dementia, which seems very likely, I imagine it will be even more unpleasant, but it's not my problem and I will act quite aggressively to cut people off from attempting to make it my problem. The hell with all that.
__________________
Bipolar II ultrarapid cycling + ADHD-PI, both treatment resistant af  zyprexa 2.5 / dexedrine 10 / valium 3 :: CYP2D6 poor metabolizer currently trialing meds one by one with a great pdoc after 20 years of fail |
| Sunflower123, Werewoman
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| BipolaRNurse, Werewoman
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#7
Oct 23, 2017, 01:06 PM
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Yes.
But since my abusers were my parents, and the abuse was primarily psychological, and i generally was a well-behaved kid, no one picked up on it. I didn't really understand how bad it was, either, and I'm still working through it with my therapist. Worst of all, I've always been called upon to be the "good kid" they can lean on through their own rough times. I still don't know how to tell them to stuff it. Blah. Fortunately, we planted one of them this year, and the other shouldn't be too many more years. Can't wait to be an orphan. |
| Werewoman
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| Werewoman
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#8
Oct 23, 2017, 01:34 PM
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Yes. It was expected until his death that we all get together for holidays and birthdays and act like the perfect family. It always took a toll on me. I carry resentment that we still get together for holidays and birthdays and act like the perfect, functional family when my sister has turned out just like him.
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| Werewoman, Wild Coyote
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| Werewoman
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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