[zbmom]

I hate the ups and the downs. I hate the stigma. I hate how people throw the word around to describe someone who is moody. I hate feeling ashamed of my diagnosis. I hate having to be "in the closet" so I don't ruin my career. I hate how much energy it takes to appear normal. I hate needing to take meds and being terrified of the side effects. I hate everything being so hard.

[Sunflower123]

I agree totally.

Yes, I’ve been spending a lot of time on this forum in need of a place to be. It is so hard

[Moose72]

I hate having to do things to normal standards when I'm having a ipolar day/week.

[Sunflower123]

Amen to that.

[Row Jimmy]

Don't hate it - embrace it. "I am bipolar". There, I said it! The road to happiness is paved with accepting we are who we are. We grow into new people from where we are right now. Everything I did, everything I said, every bridge I burned is in the past. I was a flaming a-hole, so be it. I ain't gonna change none of it. If I continue to grind my teeth, I will continue on the road I was on. I want OFF the road, not to stay on it. So I smile, am thankful someone told me what's wrong, and move on from there. I'm not afraid.

[zbmom]

I am so not there Row. This condition is making my life hell. I'm miserable.

[Row Jimmy]

Originally Posted by zbmom

I am so not there Row. This condition is making my life hell. I'm miserable.

Think about ways to improve.......there are two conditions - you and the things you can't control. For now, focus on you. Do the things that YOU want to do and move away from being a prisoner of condition. In the beginning, I was selfish with my time - I needed to focus on ME. Then, let the things you can't control simply roll out around you.

Most importantly, take it one step at a time. This will be a journey.

I know this sounds like preaching and if it comes across as such, I apologize. I can only speak from my own position and where I was. There was a time when I was miserable and I didn't know what to do or where to turn. I came to a point at which I was convinced things wouldn't improve. Then, I received a diagnosis and some guidance from professionals. And I simply went from there. I've been to the hospital probably 50x in the last two years for all sorts of jive, but it all adds up to improvement. True, I don't understand your wider condition - I am in a place where I have good support from people who love me. But.....there are still obstacles I need to climb over and I know that once I get over the first obstacle, there will be another one to climb. It will be a lifelong battle - BP doesn't go away. I don't feel cursed, I feel blessed that I have the knowledge and the power to make things better. So I simply accept it because I can't change it.

Rock on.

[zbmom]

I have to work full time because of a lot of debt, I have a special needs child, and I have to spend so much energy all the time appearing "normal" I have a lot of stress and people depending on me. The problem is I can never focus on myself. It's impossible. Maybe I'll find a miracle med that helps me but for now things are not good.

[UpDownAround]

I am not happy about it, but it is what it is. We have it for life, though the elusive magic med mix can make it seem gone for a while. The stigma and misuse of the term bugs me. The depression sucks. My hypomania is mostly euphoric, so it's not as bad as it could be. I am still managing to do okay with work and family, though sometimes I plod through it. But I still have some good days where I can enjoy life.

[bpforever1]

I hate to say this but welcome to the club. I don't like being bipolar either but am happy there are medications available that are effective. I hope you find the right combo of meds or the best med for you. I am taking brand Abilify and am doing ok now after being homeless and psychotic for about four years straight. I have been compliant with my meds for the past 5 years and am doing better than before. I am living independently and in another country. Life is not easy but I am surviving. I try to be optimistic about life. Of course, if your mood is unstable, life seems unbearable. Please hold on and be patient about finding the right meds/treatment. It took me four years of being psychotic off meds to realize my medications were helping me, not hurting me. I went through intensive therapy afterwards to come to this conclusion. I wake up and take my medication. It seems simple now but before I did not want to take medication and ended up being hospitalized. Life is ok now. I enjoy what I have, which is not much, but am happy. I am grateful for the little things in life. I could not be happier.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by zbmom

I have to work full time because of a lot of debt, I have a special needs child, and I have to spend so much energy all the time appearing "normal" I have a lot of stress and people depending on me. The problem is I can never focus on myself. It's impossible. Maybe I'll find a miracle med that helps me but for now things are not good.

I hate being bipolar too. It sucks! I've kind of learned to live with it. I sorry to say this but you absolutely MUST give your self some loving care. It's not optional. As of yet there is no magic pill. Until you can care for yourself amidst your hectic life, you are stuck at the hating bipolar stage.

[Hershey786]

New here 👋 I hate the anxiety the depression the low energy the tiredness I hate it all

[raspberrytorte]

I'm getting a little sick of it myself.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Hershey786

New here 👋 I hate the anxiety the depression the low energy the tiredness I hate it all

Welcome to PC Hershey.

[Guiness187055]

I am not thrilled about it but what are you gonna do. It is what it is.

[BillSamuels2]

yes, i'm glad to know now... because when i didn't know what was wrong with me before, i didn't know that some of the ways that i thought i "was" were actually symptoms that could be managed. i'm not bipolar, i have bipolar disorder, and i can manage it with my meds (lamictal), not abusing substances, eating well, exercising, and maintaining a pretty regular routine. i don't mind doing all of these things, because they keep me feeling a lot better than i felt when i didn't manage any of it because i didn't know something was wrong.

[~Christina]

I think about it this way , there are far worse things I could have.

Bipolar does indeed suck

[GoldenSnitch]

I think we can all agree that it sucks. Nobody wants to feel like this and deal with everything that we all do everyday, but other than participating in treatment there isn’t much we can do about it. I try to be an advocate for people with mental illnesses and break the stigma by being vocal about it. Some people have been really supportive, others not so much. I just try to take it day by day and do what I can.

[Pookyl]

I also hate having BP. With diagnosis 3yrs ago I lost my job, my career, alienated my children for awhile etc.
With a lot of therapy I think I'm closer to reaching a level of acceptance but jeez it's hard work.

[WildcatVet]

Hate the roller coaster...but don't really care what people think...their problem, not mine...

[bluemountains]

I am completely with you on everything that you said, zbmom!
Bluemountains

[LadyShadow]

It IS really hard. I had to walk away from ANOTHER job because I couldn't take it. I wasn't brave enough to tell them I was really struggling so I just quit.

I hate what bipolar has robbed me of, but I have to what I can to get through.

Just keep pushing on, the best you can.

[h2os]

I hate having bipolar, it's always there and never goes away. Even on a good I still have to manage it. On a bad bay it's suck the life right of me.