I work 40 hours what did you do all week?

Moose72 · Nov 02, 2017 at 09:11 AM

This is what my 18 yo daughter said to me yesterday! I think she needs to contribute to the bills or move the **** out. Anyone else's thoughts?

(I'm on disability.)

Nov 02, 2017 at 09:15 AM

I'm sorry she said that to you. :/ At 18 years old she may not fully appreciate that you need to be on disability. She just sees that she works, and you don't, and to her that may seem unfair. If she is working 40 hours a week and living at home, she should be contributing to rent/bills for sure. At 40 hours a week she can likely afford to rent her own place so that could be an option as well. Hopefully as she matures, she will understand that you are not choosing disability due to laziness, but rather necessity.

Victoria'smom · Nov 02, 2017 at 09:42 AM

My 15 yr old says that all the time when it comes to chores. 40 hrs a week at minimum wage doesn't get you an apartment it gets you a room somewhere shady. She should contribute to the house.

Sit her down and calculate how much it'll be to get her own place. Remember she needs First, last and deposit just to move. Then $400 for food/water, then she can only get a place that's 1/3 her income (or she wont be approved), Car insurance, medical, Tv / internet, $100 for house hold things, gas for the car, $100 saving/extra just in case something happens and $150 for electric.

What we plan to do when my son is 18 (if he chooses not to go to school) is take 1/3rd of his check save it and give it back to him when he's looking to move out. It will take about 9 months of payments to get to first, last, and deposit. He's not going to know we're saving it until he moves out.

Wild Coyote · Nov 02, 2017 at 11:49 AM

I feel it's very healthy for individuals to contribute to their "home." Encourage her to help out with the living expenses.

WC

hopeless2015 · Nov 02, 2017 at 12:15 PM

Yes, she probably doesn't have a clue what it takes to keep a roof over your heads, food on the table, keep car gassed up and insured, pay for phones etc, write it all down so she can see it all then ask her to start paying her portion. It's great that she's working but a reality check might open her eyes

AspiringAuthor · Nov 02, 2017 at 10:59 PM

Living on disability can be harder than working. You work 8 hours a day but fight disability 24 hours a day. With work, you have weekends. With disability, it is 24/7.

I hope she can appreciate this difference, if not now, then later.

Moose - does she occupy a whole bedroom or share with a sib?

RedDawn · Nov 03, 2017 at 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

My 15 yr old says that all the time when it comes to chores. 40 hrs a week at minimum wage doesn't get you an apartment it gets you a room somewhere shady. She should contribute to the house.

Sit her down and calculate how much it'll be to get her own place. Remember she needs First, last and deposit just to move. Then $400 for food/water, then she can only get a place that's 1/3 her income (or she wont be approved), Car insurance, medical, Tv / internet, $100 for house hold things, gas for the car, $100 saving/extra just in case something happens and $150 for electric.

What we plan to do when my son is 18 (if he chooses not to go to school) is take 1/3rd of his check save it and give it back to him when he's looking to move out. It will take about 9 months of payments to get to first, last, and deposit. He's not going to know we're saving it until he moves out.

I think this is a good plan, except the part where you're deceiving. I would be open about what you're doing.

liveforsummer · Nov 03, 2017 at 09:56 AM

IMO if your child is 18+, working full time and living at home they should be paying some rent. (I think my only exception to that would be if they’re saving money to go back to school). Or if 18 seems unfair let it go until age 21 then if they’re still at home then I would for sure be collecting rent. It’s a good life lesson and once they move out you can always give it back as a gift towards an apartment, home, car etc (if you’re financially able of course). Individual circumstances are all different and that’s just how I see it.

bioChE · Nov 04, 2017 at 04:16 AM

I’m with all the others who say if she’s 18 and working a full-time job, she should be paying her fair share of the bills. ESPECIALLY with an attitude like that. She needs to understand that though she may technically be an adult, she is and will always be your child. It’s your house, you make the rules. If she wants to have a disrespectful “adult” judgmental attitude towards you, then you can punt her into the world so she can see just how cruel it can be.

And don’t have the attitude that she doesn’t make enough money to pay rent, or to live on her own if she chooses. She does. Even with a low-skill, high school educated first time job, she is earning plenty to do so; many people do it. Yes she’ll be struggling, but still probably not struggling as much as you are just to put a roof over her head and food on the table. Also, when she turns 18, don’t you lose some portion of your disability that covered her as a dependent child?

Just my thoughts on the situation. That child (yes, she’s still a child) needs some real-life education.

Moose72 · Nov 04, 2017 at 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AspiringAuthor

Living on disability can be harder than working. You work 8 hours a day but fight disability 24 hours a day. With work, you have weekends. With disability, it is 24/7.

I hope she can appreciate this difference, if not now, then later.

Moose - does she occupy a whole bedroom or share with a sib?

She has her own bedroom but sleeps on the couch.

emgreen · Nov 04, 2017 at 07:09 AM

Did I read correctly on another thread that your food stamp ration has run out & the only reason you were able to eat yesterday was someone treated you, or was that someone else? If that was you, it's another twist in the twisted head of a thoughtless daughter. If you're feeding her & going hungry yourself, there's no freakin' excuse!

ReptileInYourHead · Nov 04, 2017 at 07:59 AM

Fair enough guys, disability is no joke. Just remember though, not to overshadow our children’s struggles with our own illnesses. Their troubles should not be compared to our own and then deemed less worthy.

Maybe she wants some acknowledgement for her accomplishments?
Pitching in some money for the house is fair.
Does she help around the house? Cook, clean, shop, etc?

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Wild Coyote Legendary Community Liaison Member Since Jun 2016 Location: USA Posts: 12,735 (SuperPoster!) 8 70.9k hugs given	Nov 02, 2017 at 11:49 AM #4 I feel it's very healthy for individuals to contribute to their "home." Encourage her to help out with the living expenses. WC __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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AspiringAuthor Veteran Member Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Mountain View Posts: 629 7 374 hugs given	Nov 02, 2017 at 10:59 PM #6 Living on disability can be harder than working. You work 8 hours a day but fight disability 24 hours a day. With work, you have weekends. With disability, it is 24/7. I hope she can appreciate this difference, if not now, then later. Moose - does she occupy a whole bedroom or share with a sib?
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emgreen Wise Elder Member Since Aug 2012 Location: Michigan Posts: 9,645 (SuperPoster!) 12 937 hugs given	Nov 04, 2017 at 07:09 AM #11 Did I read correctly on another thread that your food stamp ration has run out & the only reason you were able to eat yesterday was someone treated you, or was that someone else? If that was you, it's another twist in the twisted head of a thoughtless daughter. If you're feeding her & going hungry yourself, there's no freakin' excuse!
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