[LadyShadow]

Hey everyone,

I don't know why I am even posting, or even if I should, but I am suffering from the worst bipolar hangover ever. No drugs or alcohol involved, just me being full of energy and mania at ungodly hours at night, and trying to wake up at a time other than 6 bloody o'clock in the late afternoon.

I am suffering, more than I have in a long time because I am forcing myself to try and get up earlier in the day. I know I have to try to get up to help out my parents fix up the new house we are moving to, but god all mighty I can't %&**#^%**$ get up!

It's a nightmare, and an endless circle of hell. I know I should take my meds earlier in the evening, but my bipolar mind has different plans for me, in that the damn meds don't work if I am not naturally tired. Go to the pdoc and get MORE meds? God help me, I already feel numb and devoid of all emotion on the meds I am currently on, adding on MORE crap will demoralize me and make me feel even less human and more empty than I already feel.

Right now, I am utterly and totally drained. My body feels like a useless lump of flesh, and I have zero energy. Is this how we have to live? And why in the hell do mania bursts of energy come at 4am in damn morning tormenting me?

I am drugging myself senseless to sleep at night as it is, just to shut this menace of a racing mind I have off to get some rest. And then when I try to get up, I am SO hungover from medication I can't function.

And to add insult to injury, I tried to take a nap, and I just laid in bed with my eyes wide open unable to rest. Oh, god help me, I hate this bipolar bullshyt with a passion.

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Oh, god help me, I hate this bipolar bullshyt with a passion.

Me too. Oh so so much. Hope you feel better.