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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: Southeast, U.S.
Posts: 443
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Dec 25, 2017 at 01:27 AM
#1
I haven't been on this site since Nov 14th, which means, I've been feeling really well for over a month. I've had two therapy appointment in a row that have been really positive. I set one up for Wednesday because I remember from last year that I crash after Christmas. It started today. I was thinking about a close friend of the family and I just started crying. From there I started feeling blue about being home alone on Christmas Eve. Then the thoughts started. A little more aggressive than passive but I'm not in danger. I just can't get it out of my mind. I just keep thinking, why am I living. My therapist keeps reminding me that my son needs me. He really doesn't. He will be fine whether I'm here or not. I don't have a way. I'm going to bed. Maybe I will sleep these thoughts away. Does anyone else's mind go there at the slight bit of sadness? What is wrong with me?
__________________ "I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." ~Lewis Carroll Bipolar I PTSD |
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 Anonymous45390
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Alberta canada
Posts: 1,834
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Dec 25, 2017 at 02:16 AM
#2
When I'm depressed, I start to think my family would be happier if I was not here. This is not true but when my depressing thoughts enter my mind I tend to believe them. But the truth is that it's not me thinking those thoughts, It is the depression. Wishing you all the best. big hugs.
__________________ Bipolar 1 |
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| Anonymous45390
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 UpDownMiddleGround
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Dec 25, 2017 at 04:11 AM
#3
I see you have PTSD. I have complex PTSD. I think this is the problem in my case.
My mother verbalized her SI for as long as I can remember, and she didn’t want to be responsible for me. So that pattern of thinking is ingrained. It is a struggle not to go there. I’ve been using DBT from the DBT Connections videos as well as suggestions from my therapist to help. Adding lithium to my med regimen has really been helpful too, as well as the gabapentin. Last edited by Anonymous45390; Dec 25, 2017 at 05:02 AM.. |
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UpDownMiddleGround
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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