[taybaby]

So about three months ago I left my apartment in Kansas City and flew to Georgia to live with my parents because my mental health had gotten so bad.

I was suicidal and was having serious paranoid delusions among many other things. I stayed inpatient for a while, and now I am slowly increasing meds and getting back to "normal".

But I have to go back to Kansas City now for financial reasons... and I'm terrified. I'm leaving behind my support system and my therapist and p doc. I do have friends in KC but they don't understand at all.

I think the stress of going back is triggering me to start having weird paranoia again.. Like today at the movies the screen went blank before it started and I honestly thought a gunman was about to come in? And at night I am starting to think and see strange things again when I close my eyes that terrify me.

Also the other day I was out to eat with my sister in the middle of the day in a really nice area but for some reason I was CONVINCED the car was going to get stolen. I have never in my life had anything stolen from me, let alone a car. But I could not stop getting up and looking out the window at the car. It was so freaky.

All of this has me seriously second guessing going back. But I can't just stay at my parents house forever, I am literally just becoming a recluse and I only leave the house once a day to go for a walk.

I need to start my life again, but I am just so afraid I will break down again and hurt myself or something horrible will happen.

Has anyone experienced this or can anyone offer words of advice or something? I just feel so lost

[99fairies]

If it was at all possible to stay with my support team I would stay. I would be fuuucked without my pdoc and family. Best wishes to you. Hope it all works out...big hugs!

I agree with 99fairies. It sounds like a bad idea to leave your support system if you are experiencing any kind of relapse. Do you not know any other people in Georgia besides your parents, pdoc and tdoc? Do you sometimes have access to use a car or public transportation? For me, even getting out a short bit each day is fine. I find things to do online, there is a cafe I often visit, a library, and occasionally I go to a pizzeria for a slice.

[taybaby]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I agree with 99fairies. It sounds like a bad idea to leave your support system if you are experiencing any kind of relapse. Do you not know any other people in Georgia besides your parents, pdoc and tdoc? Do you sometimes have access to use a car or public transportation? For me, even getting out a short bit each day is fine. I find things to do online, there is a cafe I often visit, a library, and occasionally I go to a pizzeria for a slice.

No I don't know anyone in Georgia.. I grew up in KC and my family moved there after I graduated college. The problem is that my apartment, my car, my responsibilities and my job are all in KC. I was lucky enough to have saved up enough money to be able to not work for these three months but I am running out of money and I need to go back and take care of some things.

I have been looking into pdocs and therapists in kc and am planning on making appointments before I fly up there, so hopefully I can find people as good as the mental healthcare team I have now...

[~Christina]

Yes if at all possible make appts now for your return.

Can you really focus on ramping up your coping and grounding skills ?

Have faith in yourself , maybe going back home will be a wonderful thing to have your space again.

[taybaby]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Yes if at all possible make appts now for your return.

Can you really focus on ramping up your coping and grounding skills ?

Have faith in yourself , maybe going back home will be a wonderful thing to have your space again.

Yes, I have been trying really really hard to get into a good headspace and work on my coping skills.

I really hope that it will be a good thing to be back home again!