What would it be?

Rant away!

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Me: my old stupid asshole boss who kept b_tching about my mood swings. (I never told him about my BP, but he could sense something was off.) F_ck you. You obviously have no sympathy or understanding for other people. And I hate you for complaining about my work ethic four days after my grandfather died. You knew it, too. Asshole.

[SorryShaped]

Mom and Dad both know I have bipolar. Both say they know what it is. Neither can answer any questions about it. Neither will watch the videos about what to look for and what it's like from the patient perspective. Neither will even talk to me about. I no longer ask about their conditions or even act like they have them. When one is sick and tells me, I answer the same way they do, "I know what that is" and then walk away or completely ignore them. I know I shouldn't live like that. I know it's wrong. But, if they're going to ignore my illnesses, why should I give any thought to theirs? I changed my ENTIRE life to help them and I do know what their illnesses are. Sometimes I've looked things up or even asked a doctor in private about their conditions. They don't give a crap about mine, so I don't listen to their complaints any more.
I didn't adopt this way until about three weeks ago, where I tried to talk to Mom about my rough spot and she completely changed the subject three times.

[BPQuestions]

My soon to be ex wife. How can you leave me when I finally found out the reasons for my behaviors and actions. You say you understand the illness but you dont. You just want to run away because you dont want to be married to someone who is sick. I loved you and you stomped on my heart.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by BPQuestions

My soon to be ex wife. How can you leave me when I finally found out the reasons for my behaviors and actions. You say you understand the illness but you dont. You just want to run away because you dont want to be married to someone who is sick. I loved you and you stomped on my heart.

Mine stomped me for 12 years after I got diagnosed. She used threats and withheld anything and everything to get control. I finally broke free a year ago and have found some happiness at times. I hope you find yours. There is hope. Big hugs.

[Unhinged88]

It infuriates me that in the 20 years I've been diagnosed, my mother has not once, ever, asked how I am with it. If I take my meds, etc. But yet I don't have the courage to confront her about it.

[99fairies]

Bipolar can go fuuck it's self!

I'm sick of my lack of productivity!

I'm done with dealing with pharmacies, insurance companies, blood work, and doctors. I'm sick of it all. I want to take a med vacation. Actually I want a vacation from everything bipolar. I want a vacation from everything mental illness wise.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm tired of having to rely on an unreliable government for disability.

[Moreta]

I'm tired of meds making me tired.

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Mom and Dad both know I have bipolar. Both say they know what it is. Neither can answer any questions about it. Neither will watch the videos about what to look for and what it's like from the patient perspective. Neither will even talk to me about. I no longer ask about their conditions or even act like they have them. When one is sick and tells me, I answer the same way they do, "I know what that is" and then walk away or completely ignore them. I know I shouldn't live like that. I know it's wrong. But, if they're going to ignore my illnesses, why should I give any thought to theirs? I changed my ENTIRE life to help them and I do know what their illnesses are. Sometimes I've looked things up or even asked a doctor in private about their conditions. They don't give a crap about mine, so I don't listen to their complaints any more.
I didn't adopt this way until about three weeks ago, where I tried to talk to Mom about my rough spot and she completely changed the subject three times.

—-my family is full of men who don’t want to know about it and verbally abuse me instead if I oppose them. I have saved my ex’s life by finding out about his medical conditions, but no matter, bipolar is MY problem. I worked my whole life dealing with this and hiding it in the workplace. Glad there are new programs like iOps. Didn’t know what that meant until I found a great group. Psychiatric care in 15 minutes. It’s more like in and out burger! I diagnosed myself over 20years ago and determined I am mixed more recently. We need individual advocates and lobbying for better care.

[GoldenSnitch]

I’m done with it all. Done with meds every day. Done with side effects. Done with doctors and therapists appointments all of the time. Done with feeling down and hating myself. Done with having to explain this to people who don’t get it. Done with being afraid of how someone will react when they find out. Done with physical illnesses being treated differently than mental illnesses. I’m just exhausted and done with it all.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by GoldenSnitch

I’m done with it all. Done with meds every day. Done with side effects. Done with doctors and therapists appointments all of the time. Done with feeling down and hating myself. Done with having to explain this to people who don’t get it. Done with being afraid of how someone will react when they find out. Done with physical illnesses being treated differently than mental illnesses. I’m just exhausted and done with it all.

I get that way too. You aren't alone. I'm almost ready to go throw pills at doctors. But, I've got one doctor, my pdoc, that has always been very kind to me, almost to a fault though I haven't abused that. It's that one that makes the difference. If you don't have that one, keep trying until you do.
I've been wondering if I should be genetically tested because I don't think certain meds work properly in me and I know some don't.

[Jamesbeckett01]

I’m tired of inconsistency. Being Superman at work for a few weeks then spending 3 months in a pit of despair and hopeless at work. Being super fun Dad running around, then wanting to hide for months. With gaining and losing weight over and over. Getting used to meds then they stop working or something happens. I still have a hard time accepting my diagnosis but everything makes more sense now in its own way. Would just be nice to know who I’ll be tomorrow. It’s like I can’t hold myself to any expectations. It is what it is though, I’m getting help and currently don’t want to die so that’s a bonus.
Thanks for listening

[Zigy]

Been over 10 years until I was diagnosed last year. I'm tired. Very tired. I wish I could just drop everything and just go, somewhere without people. I'm on a wrong planet.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Zigy

Been over 10 years until I was diagnosed last year. I'm tired. Very tired. I wish I could just drop everything and just go, somewhere without people. I'm on a wrong planet.

I often daydream about a place for people like me, all messed up inside, to live in peace and understanding with each other