Dropping in and saying hi (and one question)

Hi guys,

I haven't been online for more than half a year, but maybe some of you remember me. I just wanted to drop in, tell how everything has been going and maybe ask for some advice.

Last time I logged in I was in a clinic, after a severe breakdown. The week I spend there gave me the opportunity to deal with my childhood traumata (obviously that wasn't done in a week, but it was a beginning). After that I started self-treatment, mainly by restarting my artistic work that I had layed aside for too long, struggling with depression or excessive partying.I am almost done with my first novel now, started to play the piano and paint. Compared to all the therapy I did, it was the thing that helped me most.

As some of you may remember, I have never been clearly diagnosed. My therapist supposed I might suffer from Cyclothymia. After the week in the clinic I got diagnosed with Borderline, finally. Anyway, the diagnosis of Cyclothymia is still in the picture and I still get phases of depression and something that my psychiatrist defined as hypomania. So maybe it's just a combination of both, but it doesn't matter much anyway how they choose to call it as long as I can deal with it.

For the past months I have been doing well most of the time, slight depression followed by slight elation, so I can say that basically I have been stable for six months. Now I am working in Brasil for a few months after having graduated in law.

Well, my question anyway: I have been feeling very elated during the last two weeks. Also I get moments when I feel very unsatisfied. What is persistent in elation or dissatisfaction is the fact that I do not calm down, I talk to a million people at a time and try to do a thousand things in just one day. I work eight hours, after that I do sports (at least three or four times a week), I write one or two hours per day to finish my novel and I meet friends every day. Also I try to play piano one hour per day and stay in touch with all of my friends from Germany, which causes my day to have at least 15 hours (two hours travelling to work everyday). I cannot stand spending just one night quiet at home, because my mind is racing. It is okay so far, even though I tend to sleep between four to six hours a night. I can go on like this a little longer, but I want my peace back. All this is related to being abroad for only three months, building a new life here which I know I'll leave behind in a few weeks, having graduated just now and not knowing what will come after and - of course, how else could it be - having met a guy that I am dating here and trying to not fall in love considering that I will go back to Germany soon enough. So, there are reasons for all of that, but I feel such a boundless energy that it touches the boarder of being very uncomfortable. Moreover I want to avoid the crash that usually comes after these phases of elation.

Do you know any skills that could help me regain my inner peace and soften the crash?

Thank you for reading through all this!!

Wow, you have a lot of things going on. I recommend grounding skills and mindfulness. To soften the blow of coming down is something I'm still dealing with. Take PRN's if you need them, make sure you eat and try to go for walks when you can. Sorry if my advice sucks, I haven't slept a lot this morning. Big hugs!

Thank you, 99fairies. Your advice doesn't suck at all. What would grounding skills be?

It's when you use all your 5 senses when you do something difficult or stressful. I like feeling things with my hands and asking myself is it rough, smooth, hard ,soft...etc. Or when your taking a shower, focus on the water hitting your body and what your soaps smell like. I feel it's all about being in the moment. My favorite saying is be. here. now. No regretting the past, no fear for the future. Just enjoy the moment you're in right now.

That sounds ike very good advice. It's just what I need because my mind is racing between memories and future projections. I'll give it a try today Thank you!

No problem. When people ask me what my biggest wish would be I always say to be in a mindful state all the time.