Obsession

salsharia · Mar 06, 2018, 01:04 AM

I seem to obsess about many things but it always happens to be one thing at a time. For a year it was spiritual enlightenment and synchronicity, then cultural meaning systems, then it was science, the universe, black hole theories, then meditation and healing, the Illuminati, being skinny and dieting, having a flat stomach, nutrition and biochemistry. I always say I’m passionately curious which is true. Last year I was completely obsessed with everything wrong with me and getting a diagnosis and now it’s my actual diagnosis. I’m constantly looking for symptoms to justify my behaviour. Constantly googling, constantly thinking - constantly obsesssing. I don’t want to over identify with the diagnosis but I am and feel powerless about it. I don’t think this is OCD - is this a bipolar trait? Tell me your stories

02:51 AM

I think it's natural to be intensely interested in your diagnosis initially, especially if you are a curious person who likes to do research. Twenty-six years ago when i was diagnosed there wasn't any Internet so i ran around to all the libraries in the city, even the two university ones. Psychiatry is interesting stuff! Some of the stuff made me laugh so hard, like this woman who was manic and campaigned for a candidate who got elected and continued to campaign for him after election!

I don't regret that time. The only thing i'd warn you about is talking about your studies with health professionals. I did that during one assessment and the doctor wrote that i used a lot of jargon. It was insulting -- as if i couldn't understand those words because i wasn't a doctor, as if knowledge of psychiatry is proprietary! Just use common words when talking to doctors.

To me, you just sound like a bright and curious person with a bit of a magpie mind. There's nothing wrong with that. It makes you an interesting person.

As with all health concerns, the question to ask when deciding if it's really problematic or not is: Does this impact my functioning? If you're enjoying yourself and eating and sleeping then don't worry about it. If you're feeling out-of-control and not eating and not sleeping then it's a problem.

Mar 06, 2018, 02:21 AM

I do this as well. I’ve always felt it was driven by anxiety.

Anxiety is commonly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I’m unclear on whether anxiety stems from bipolar. My pdoc says anxiety is part of mood disorder.

franz kafka · Mar 06, 2018, 06:05 AM

When I was first diagnosed I read all there was to read about bipolar disorder. In one way I was just educating myself about the illness, but in another way I was over-identifying as you put it. With time the obsession faded and my disorder now is more like background noise. So maybe you just need to give it some time.

Northchild · Mar 06, 2018, 10:22 AM

I think that what you described is often a trait of young adults. I don't know your age, so I'm not sure if that applies to you, but I've found that life has a way of knocking the edges off of our curiosity and single-minded drive as the years go by. It doesn't remove these things entirely, but the everyday routines like going to the grocery store or chatting with the coffee shop counter person become more important, while the question of "What's it all about, when you get down go it?" becomes less so.

*Laurie* · Mar 06, 2018, 10:33 AM

Yes, I do believe that being obsessed with a certain "something" then completely losing interest can be a sign of bipolar disorder. It's like being on a seesaw...way UP then crashing DOWN.

bizi · Mar 06, 2018, 10:35 AM

Yes I start projects then lose interest and move on to something else to obsess about. I believe it is my bipolar nature that I do this.
bizi
welcome to the club!

Treyfrancis21 · Mar 06, 2018, 01:29 PM

I feel the same way. I'm usually pretty good, but there are definite times where I drive people crazy with whatever I'm obsessed with at the time.

wildflowerchild25 · Mar 06, 2018, 03:36 PM

I get obsessed with things as well. Depending on my state of mind it can be positive or negative. It’s usually when manic or mixed but has happened when stable as well.

Unrigged64072835 · Mar 06, 2018, 04:47 PM

I was obsessed with bipolar before I was diagnosed with it. Afterwards it lasted for a while, and I then moved onto other things. I have other MI that can cause obsessions as well.