[N0b0dy]

I think I just figured out how to make my own thread on this site. If not, I'm sorry for replying to someone else, this site is confusing. Anyways, so to start my rant I'm Bipolar with "psychotic features". I've been diagnosed with it twice, by two separate doctor's, because I wanted a second opinion.

To be honest, I kind of want a third opinion even though they are probably right and it's more than likely a waste of time. I don't know "what kind" it is yet, but I'm assuming Bipolar one which is "textbook bipolar", I mean not like it really matters, Bipolar disorder doesn't exactly manifest in everyone the same.

I just loathe the idea of taking all these medications. Even though I hate feeling depressed and laying in bed all day. My mania is sometimes "euphoric", but it's mostly rage filled and violent, as well as borderline dangerous. Then the psychosis will start. . .

I guess what bothers me the most is bipolar is an episodic illness, so the medications are mostly for prevention and maintenance. Because there are times when I'm not depressed, manic, or psychotic obviously, even without meds?!? It's honestly a pain in my ***, and

Possible trigger:

I think about death a lot, suicide and homicide.

I mean if I shove a shard of glass threw my neck, bye bye problems right?

Because the MOST ANNOYING THING is, I have every reason to be happy. I'm married to someone who adores me, all my kids are healthy (so far), and I'm about to graduate in a couple weeks with my AA, and I'm getting straight A's at the university working towards my BS. So why do I keep seeing these disturbing images in my head?!?! IT'S ANNOYING!!!

With therapy, meds, and self help, there are days I feel like I got this. Then there are days I just want to throw in the towel because I'm sick of this daily ****ing battle.

Right now the only medication I'm on is Seroquel, which is a god damn miracle drug. Thing is, once the doctor's start piling them on, I start freaking out and end up stopping them all. I just started the Seroquel back again April 1st, and I see another doctor in a month to "pile on" some more.

I am very picky though, and I really really need a good mood stabilizer. I was already on Lamictal, but I didn't like it, and straight antidepressants don't do **** for me. I'm probably going to ask about Lithium, even though I have read a ton of mixed reviews.

ANY suggestions, advice, quotes, lyrics, self help tips, personal experiences/stories, drug recommendations. WHATEVER hit me up.

[Shazerac]

Dealing with a bipolar diagnosis is a huge pill to swallow (pardon my pun )

I think all of us go through episodes where we hate our Meds and don’t want to take them. It doesn’t matter how wonderful your life is...if you have bipolar disorder you have it. There it is. It’s not circumstantial.

I hear your frustration about the doctors “piling” on Meds. Try to keep in mind that YOU are driving the bus. Doctors can make suggestions but the decision is yours. It might help at first to listen to their advice, as you figure out how to deal with this. It will get easier and you will know which Meds work, or don’t work for you.

I may be confused, but didn't you say you are doing well now? If so, what would the justification be for adding more medicines? Unless your Seroquel gives you bad side effects. That's a question we should all ask in cases where we are doing well with few complaints.

Most people will need to take medications long term or permanently, and not just people with mental illnesses like bipolar disorder. Again, unless they give terrible side effects (and I mean terrible, not just overblown minor annoyance) taking meds is really no big deal if needed. Pop them in the mouth swallow down with liquid. Done! It's not a root canal.

My bipolar disorder grew so severe that I love and appreciate taking meds as prophylactics.

There were a few meds I took with unbearable side effects. I'm glad I'm off of them. But my current mix is just dandy for the most part.

[eye2797]

The pill thing can be never ending. One may work for awhile and than poop out. It has taken me several years to find a combo that is somewhat working, one which is lithium which I never thought I would ever take.
I am not at my greatest right now and am going through some med add ons.
It can take time
If the seroquel is working and you are stable why do you think they will add more meds?

[Unrigged64072835]

I look at my handful of pills and supplements every morning and just shake my head.

I hate doing this but I'm still somewhat stable and don't want more craziness at the moment.

If you're fine with just Seroquel let the doctor know. You shouldn't have to be forced to take more if you don't need it.

OP says he needs a mood stabilizer...

I love lithium. I don’t care what anyone says, it works on depression and anxiety. Within weeks I felt better, and anxiety rides with me all the time so I know it works. It doesn’t make it disappear and I still need gabapentin for anxiety, but I was able to cut it almost in half. I’ve been on it since last summer.

Lithium is known to work well on mania.

So, it is said to treat depression and mania.

Lithium is also one of two drugs known to reduce suicide in bipolar patients. This is an important reason to take it.

[~Christina]

Not everyone needs poly pharm

I was stable on one med when I was first diagnosed for quite a long time. Many changes since then for a variety of reasons.

Yes Bipolar can be hell at times but it’s manageable, meds, self care, lifestyle choices, sleep hygiene, huge box of coping skills .... etc etc etc

Sure we can’t “ stop “ having it but we can make it as small of our life as we can.

Bipolar does not equal a total shyt life.

[N0b0dy]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

Dealing with a bipolar diagnosis is a huge pill to swallow (pardon my pun )

I think all of us go through episodes where we hate our Meds and don’t want to take them. It doesn’t matter how wonderful your life is...if you have bipolar disorder you have it. There it is. It’s not circumstantial.

I hear your frustration about the doctors “piling” on Meds. Try to keep in mind that YOU are driving the bus. Doctors can make suggestions but the decision is yours. It might help at first to listen to their advice, as you figure out how to deal with this. It will get easier and you will know which Meds work, or don’t work for you.

Thank you so much! Your pun had me chuckling for a while lol. You are so right, it's not circumstantial, thank you for your words, appreciate it!

[N0b0dy]

Originally Posted by key tones

OP says he needs a mood stabilizer...

I love lithium. I don’t care what anyone says, it works on depression and anxiety. Within weeks I felt better, and anxiety rides with me all the time so I know it works. It doesn’t make it disappear and I still need gabapentin for anxiety, but I was able to cut it almost in half. I’ve been on it since last summer.

Lithium is known to work well on mania.

So, it is said to treat depression and mania.

Lithium is also one of two drugs known to reduce suicide in bipolar patients. This is an important reason to take it.

I said Seroquel was a miracle drug, and I have every reason to be happy lmao. I never said I was "doing well". I've only been back on the Seroquel since April 1st. I'm concerned the doctors will give me more drugs because that is really what I am used to them doing. I have seen SEVERAL DIFF doctors at different practices and what not, and they all want to pile on the drugs. I'm not saying that is bad or good or whatever, it's just a fact I have noticed that triggers my anxiety. It's also a fact I prob need a mood stabilizer, even though I can't stand eating pills. I realize with a severe mental illness, the pills are the lesser of the two evils. Some days, I guess, I just feel like whining about it because I hate it. Also thank you for your suggestion on Lithium.

[Asteya]

I don’t know anything about you, but just like anything else in life it is trial and error... I feel these doctors -if they have good intention- want you to be good too. I feel like when I go to anyone new now I’m the one interviewing them, we all have different personalities and you should ultimately feel comfortable with who you are confiding with. It’s not easy...