Doing "manic things" while not manic

Say before mania there was something you've never done because it wasn't socially acceptable, safe, or you were scared for some other reason. Or maybe you just hadn't thought of it. Then you get manic and do the thing, come down, and think "Oh Lordy, I did that thing." Before you know it, you're doing that thing while not manic because you didn't experience horrendous consequences from that particular thing.

Just curious. It's happened to me and I can list an extreme example, but I don't particularly feel like sharing that right now or ever so I'll tell you about the roof. In the woods near this lake there's a shed the size of my house, and while manic I climbed on top of the roof and jumped off. Now when I get the chance I climb it. There's a great view of the lake. I don't always jump off because pain, but when I do it's not so bad because there's about 3 feet of pine needles so a soft landing.

Hmmmm. Would this be age appropriate behaviour?

While not risk taking, I have been engaged in a symptom of hypo/mania myself (I've been on a bit of a spending spree). But I have been doing frequent self checks as to whether I fit the bill with other symptoms. Perhaps it would be wise to make close observation of all aspects of your current behavior and make a mental checklist.

For example:

Irritability?
Risk taking?
Hyper sexualized?
sleeping less/full of energy?
Multi tasking or the opposite (hyper focused on one thing)?
Delusions of Grandeur?

There are more but these come first to mind.

I don't know if it's age appropriate, but I've met plenty of older people that have climbed mountains, rocks to get good views of surrounding mountains. Half the life of half the people that live here is based on it. I don't think climbing a roof to see a lake better is much different. I haven't really been in that area in a while because that park is full of kids doing drugs now anyways. I've skied with 70-90 year olds, is skiing "age appropriate" for someone of that age just because most people at that age are in nursing homes, underground, or scattered bits of ash on the beach? Are they manic?

On the other hand, I did break 3 traffic laws before 9am today and got yelled at by my family for not filtering every word I say. I don't think that's too different from baseline me though, but that's something I would say to deny mania too. Maybe I'll take my Risperdal tonight and revisit the idea. If I look at my behavior under a microscope I could make an argument for being hypomanic whenever I'm not "tired depressed," which is never because I always get "irritable depressed."

I don't necessarily think having a little bit of fun is mania if it doesn't hurt anyone, but I am on very few meds, the snow is almost melted, days are getting longer, and the weather is getting...less snowy (prime mania time) so I will definitely keep a closer eye on potentially developing mood elevation.

But now I'm thinking in circles... Definitely not manic -> but then I'm not sleeping -> but I haven't slept well in a decade so that's normal for me -> but I haven't been this productive in a while -> but that's just a lack of depression -> ad infinitum

Okay, okay. Just gonna take the PRN later, admit I can't be sure right now, and keep an eye on things, maybe look for a new group to go to. Has anyone been to emotions anonymous?

Now I think I'm hypomanic. I already wrote a lot and just deleted like 3 paragraphs that would prove I'm not at baseline and maybe that's a sign, but I didn't post it and expect people to read it and think I'm a God so maybe that's a sign I'm okay (This is why I'm not manic->this is why I'm manic...)

Alright, I'm just gonna hit post before this gets bad again.

I don’t do manic things when I’m well. It’s bad enough that I do them when I’m manic.

E.g. driving with no hands while dancing in my seat and admiring my glittery nail polish = car accident = no longer being allowed to drive.

There’s nothing wrong with jumping off a roof as long as you know there’s a good chance of hurting yourself. I know a lot of people in wheelchairs after doing things like that.

Well I have in fact climbed mountains and I was in fact manic at the time. Go figure, eh?

Did you think committing three traffic violations was a good thing? Not filtering what you say? It wouldn't hurt to stop and take the time for a little self-reflection. It is one thing to make your own risks but when it involves others you might want to think on that. Other than, go ahead then and do your own thing.

In the past I'd have sex with any man who...

Was I manic? Who knows. I think I'm always manic, unless I'm agonizingly depressed.

I'm not referring to stuff that can get you killed, but I was thinking about it when in another thread someone mentioned having less anxiety during mania. I used to have a lot of social anxiety before getting hypomanic episodes. During hypomania I opened my mouth more, and even if I said some hurtful or bizarre things (as one does while hypomanic), no one burned me at the stake for it, so now I'm not as socially anxious because I learned even if I mess up with that particular thing my life isn't ruined. Obviously somethings can ruin your life, like driving recklessly or having unsafe sex, but I'm talking about the little things that you wouldn't necessarily have done the first time if you were not a little bit up.

The traffic violations weren't putting anyone in danger. I even asked a family member "would you do this in this situation?" and they said yes, and have never been manic. Not filtering my mouth like I've been doing today isn't intrinsically bad, it's just my family. Either they love me because I'm family and will forgive me or family means nothing in which case I don't care about their feelings. I could easily make myself a target, lose my job, or some other consequence I don't particularly want to experience if I don't have a filter in a different situation though. I don't think I will because I understand consequences. Getting killed or winding up homeless? Want to avoid, so will avoid behaviors that lead to that. Family, friends, or anyone that doesn't sign a paycheck or is prone to raping and murdering others being angry at me? No biggie.

On a related note, I have noticed my ability to empathize, feel guilt, and care about others swings rapidly. Sometimes I'm almost psychopathic and at other times I would give a stranger my kidney. I don't know if it's just me having an unstable personality or if it's a part of bipolar and I'm not insightful enough or don't have enough awareness to always know if I'm in a mood swing.

I’m definitely anxiety free when I’m manic.
My problem is I don’t do little things when manic. After spending more than $1k on designer clothes in a few days earlier this week I am housebound as my cash and credit cards have been confiscated. Normally I’m frugal.
I also have died my hair blue. Normally I’m really happy with my blond hair.
I have insight but lack the care factor to do the right things when manic.
I think asking “would you do this in this situation? is very smart. My problem is the answer is always ‘no’.😜

So when you're hypomanic or manic 24 hours of your day is spent spending money? You've never had an idea to try something new and actually did it, enjoyed it, and didn't suffer negative consequences? That sucks. I probably would've stayed on haldol if every time I got hypomanic/manic I just did the bad things.

Another example I just thought of: Normally I would never ski this mountain because it's a far drive, and normally I would never ski this terrain because it's avalanche prone and extremely gnarly, but while manic I made the 5 hour drive (well, it was more like 3 at the time), bought a shovel, beacon and probe, made the hike, met up with another group and skied the craziest terrain I know of in NY. And now because I have the gear and some experience, I am comfortable in similar terrain and I'm not limited to lower elevation/lower angle slopes anymore. Were I not manic, I wouldn't have dropped $500 on gear I've never needed to use before or had the balls to drop in. And now that I've done it, I'll do it again because I can.

I also spend a lot of time outdoors trying to burn off that extra energy, go to my local cafe to socialise and try (try being the operative word) new recipes. Overall I don’t get to spend too much as my hubby takes away my access to cash.
The harsh reality is that my episodes are bad and I am heavily medicated to keep me safe. My brain is going ‘wheeeee’ so fast that I’m struggling to write and I can’t grasp any ideas whirling in my brain.

I hope things don't get too out of hand for you and the crash isn't too bad

My episodes get bad, but I get a good week or two of hypomania before it gets scary, which is why I can try only taking meds as needed and that typically brings me down.

My title is misleading. I wish I could change it to "Learning things while manic"

I don't know if I have an unstable personality too, but I have noticed that when I'm depressed I either feel something like internal hell or nothing at all. When I'm depressed nothing will move me, nothing will make me happy, sad or cry. But then I suddenly cry for no reason.

And when I'm hypo/manic I become careless, I want to hug the world and give everyone a piece of the happiness I'm feeling. Cute pictures of animals will make me cry tears of joy and I become very emotional. Things make me cry suddenly and I may laugh at my own thoughts or just at everything, even when there's nothing funny. This uncontrollable, and sometimes inappropriate laughing has brought me some problems a couple of times.

And yes, once when I was manic I got a hair cut. I had a long hair when I went to the hair dresser, and came out with a very short haircut (I was never brave enough to do that before). And yes I have kept the short hair since then because I think it suits me better. So, the decisions you make when you're manic, they're not always bad decisions.

Heh. Come to think of it, I went super short with my hair while manic-y too and never went back either. So I *do* have an experience of this too I guess, lol. It was kind of funny. I decided I HAD to cut my hair RIGHT THEN at 1 am, and with dollar store scissors to boot(!) I figured find a couple of youtube videos... how hard could it be? Hahahaha! Not so easy it turned out and I made a hacked up mess. Next day, I called a hair place and went in (salvage job anyone?) With my computer. Why? Because I'd been all over the site of a very cutting edge (sorry) Portuguese hair place and wanted to combine elements of 3 different cuts(!) Poor hairdresser was so scared. I just kept saying, "Don't worry, I have no fear!" So true!

So I guess that was an example of manic-y fearlessness that led to a longer term harmless thing.