[bewise93]

I had OCD as a child that started at age 7 and was treated with zoloft and it disappeared at age 11 mysteriously. My dad had OCD and trichotillomania. He passed away when I was 7, and they think that's what triggered it. My aunt also has OCD. I was in my apartment and the man who owns an antique store beneath me pounded on my door and i opened it and he yelled at me and threatened me because there was water pouring into his store from my bathroom and I had no idea, it wasn't my fault. He said I was doing it on purpose and was punching my door and so i shut it and locked it and called the police and he was taken away, hopefully to get psychiatric treatment. I went in the bathroom and there was toilet water everywhere and my anxiety was already really high. Then I stepped in toilet water and my sock got wet and I suddenly felt very very dirty. I then showered for over an hour and kept having to count to 10. But my feet still felt so dirty. That started 3 days ago. I have changed socks probably 10 times in the last 3 days because I feel like they're dirty. The plumber came and fixed the problem with the pipes last night but used all of my towels except the purple one to clean up the water. But when I wanted to use the purple one to shower it smelled funny and I couldn't use it so I used a blanket on one of the couches but it had dog hair on it and I had to take another shower. It was horrible. I keep having compulsive thoughts that God will judge me if I hit my cat or dog or even get angry with them. And it's not a voice, it's a thought. I know it sounds crazy saying it out loud. I know it's not true but it wont leave me. I've never ever hit my cat or dog but do get angry when my cat is too playful and bites my toe but when he did today I felt angry and felt like God would judge me if I was angry at him. I also keep compulsively checking the locks, I wear shoes all the time now so my feet don't get dirty. I am moving because my apartment feels so dirty and I just cant stand it. The only thing that helps is slightly tugging my hair and curling it a tiny bit. I also don't want to use hair gel anymore because I don't like the texture so now I just don't use hair product at all. And I'm not going inpatient because those places are dirtier than this apartment with toilet water overflowing. I take ativan but its almost like a different kind of anxiety, not like panic or regular anxiety, it's like it doesn't go away. I see a new therapist Wednesday. The week after I see my psychiatrist. I couldn't get in any sooner. I feel torture. I keep thinking that maybe it's because me and my brother used to always watch monk 2 years ago and sometimes i thought i wish i had OCD again so i could be tidier. But I know that sounds crazy too. I think the stress triggered it. It's terrible. I wouldn't wish it on that man that scared me and yelled at me.

[bewise93]

And now the toilet is not draining properly and I'm feeling terrible. I want to move really bad.

Bewise—I think you should call your pdoc and ask for help.

Mine has helped me on the weekends. The treatment might take a while to kick in, so please try to get started. If the answering service asks if it is urgent, yes it is.

OCD can be difficult, you want to snuff it as soon as you can.

I’m glad you have the therapist coming up soon

T-shirts make great towels and dry quickly, in case you are still bothered by towels.

[Nammu]

Sounds like stress was a trigger. Maybe getting a T and talking about it will help? Can you go back on the Zoloft for a while?

Toilet water that is tank water is clean water, especially since you live on the second floor. If anything, dirty water would overflow on the first floor if there was ever a sewer backup.