Car accident

I was in a major car crash on Friday on the way home from work. I was hit HARD from behind (per the police it was her fault) and then hit the car in front of me. Their cars were algiht, but not mine. Half of the hood is curled up and the fron right door won't open. I do not know it it is salvagle. There are many details, but they;re nit important here.

I think I'm alright physically. EVERYTHING hurts but I think that that's normal, that's it's just muscular.

But mentally I'm a mess. I cry at the drop of a hat, I'm having flashbacks of the accident, I'm scared of everything. All I want to do is sleep and forget and I'd rather not get up.

I was already depressed. My mother has advanced MS and a recent diagnosis of cancer. I've been going to her appointments (where she lives 1.5 hours away) and otherwise helping her. It's hard when she won't help herself, she's still refusing homecare.

But now I'm at the end of my rope.

The EMT at the scene wanted me to go to the hospital. He asked about meds and I started to tell him and then I said I had BP because I couldn't remember all my meds at that moment. I cried. He stopped asking questions and then took my blood pressure. He again pressed me to go to the Emergency Room. I said no because I didn't want my car impounded, I was waiting for AAA to come with a tow truck to take it to a car repair shop.

But I was also worried about how I'd be treated at the ER. Because I was such a mess and crying, would they not look at or really treat my pain and go straight to the BP? Would they have me IP because of the BP (I didn't feel that I could take care of myself. I moved here recently, and know practically no one)?

Have you ever gone to the ER for something physical and then been treated differently because of the BP? Dit they mainly treat you for the BP even though you were there for something else?

THanks

Oh no! That is surely something you didn't need what with everything else and I'm so sorry to hear it. I'm so glad that you are physically ok though! You have so much on your plate...

I've not experienced what you asked at an ER, though must admit I've only been 3 times (in close proximity for a pinched nerve) about 3 years ago maybe(?) (On my own account, that is. I've been for my BF a ridiculous number of times.) I can understand your concern given the emotional element however. I think it would have gone fine, but do understand.

You may not have a good support system IRL, but we're here and care very much. Please post as much as you need, ok? You are going through so much, and I'd hate for you to feel alone in it.

Sorry to hear about the accident. I think anybody would feel traumatized too, and it's especially worse when you have BP since it's very triggering. Both of those things combined must feel awful, and I'm sorry you have to experience that. BP really sucks.

As for being able to relate: I've gotten baby hits on my car and I've bawled my eyes out in front of the cops, so I think it's natural to do that. For example, I once stopped at a yellow light (that was about to turn red) and some lady behind me wanted me to go through the dangerous intersection, so she slammed the horn, went around me on the other side of the road, and cut me off, almost hitting my front left tire. And the front quarter left panel of my car was partially torn... but I was sitting still at the light and it was more like a side swipe, so it wasn't an awful hit. Then she drove away, so I had to call the cops on her. Turned out she lived down the road from me.

I think the cop didn't really care even though at the time I thought he did. I think his reaction was more like, "*sigh* Some people are apparently desperate enough to save 30 seconds... Another one of those idiots..." It's possible he thought I was being weird, but at the end of the day, he and his buddies helped me and I never saw them again. They probably forget me by now too. So if they wanted to judge me, then fine. As long as I got what I needed, then they've done their job and I've done mine. So as long as you're getting the help you need, try not to focus on the (possible) judgment. Obviously they shouldn't judge, but hey, some people do and it sucks. Try to focus on getting better!

First, I'm SO sorry you're going through this. It completely sucks.

I don't think I've ever had physical symptoms ignored because of BP. I can understand why you'd be concerned about it, though. ER staff are probably used to emotionally volatile people, BP or not. An auto accident is immensely traumatic regardless of any other circumstances.

Do you still feel unable to care for yourself? No shame in admitting this, by the way.

I am very sorry for what you are going through!

A vehicle accident can be very traumatic.

Are you okay now, or do you need to go to the ER?

Please take good care of yourself.


WC

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

I've been to the ER for physical things and they don't include my BP in it. Of course, you've been traumatized so they would take that into consideration.

Oh, whoa! You NEED to go to the ER in order to get a decent settlement by the insurance company of the person who rear-ended you. If you do not go to the ER, that tells the insurance company your injuries aren't that serious.

You might feel just sore today, but your injuries might turn out to be worse than you have anticipated. You will almost surely need physical care (massage therapy can really help accident injuries), even physical rehab. That care should be covered by the person's insurance. You can get assistance to pay for therapy involved with PTSD from the accident. Plus, you simply deserve a financial settlement from the trauma of the car accident.

I know it's a huge annoyance, but it is essential to be seen in the ER right away. I am very serious.

I just want to let you know I’m sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. We are here for you when you need support.

Oh no! I am so sorry that happened. It does sound traumatic. You definitely don't need to be dealing with this right now. I really do recommend going to the ER so that you can make sure you are okay, and also because it is true you need that documented in case you have injuries for the settlement. I hope they wouldn't treat you differently. A lot of people would be emotional after an accident.

I agree with *Laurie* Get yourself to the ER so this accident can be documented from a medical viewpoint. You should of let the medical staff check you out. Even if they know you are BP, all they would be concerned about is your physical status. Being hit by another car I am sure they will take seriously. However, I understand that when feeling the way you did emotionally, for I would not want to go anywhere.

The worst case scenario is they will treat you differently not giving you the attention that you may need from a medical perspective. However, before releasing you, they will need to run some basic tests, probably including a CT scan. I think they would do this for liability reasons alone.

I am so sorry. I can't even imagine. I've never been in an accident so bad. I fall apart even at fender benders. I've had 2 of those; one where I was turning left & at fault (granted, at the time I owned a Pontiac T1000, very similar looking to a Chevette and one of the slowest cars made in that time period) and turning left. I didn't see the oncoming car (suspect it was speeding since I was in an area of Houston with speed limits around 35 mph). Still, I was found at fault because I was turning left, and it totaled my car though no one was hurt. I could have had minor damage to the vertebrae in my neck because a year or so later, a chiropractor had had a radiologist spot a minor flaw in my neck that likely was caused by whiplash if it wasn't from a past bicycle riding incident - bad fall & had in college). That totaled my car, and since it was worth nothing, the insurance didn't pay for it, and I had to take the most boring defensive driving course in the world to lower the ticket price; it was unfortunately not close to one of those comedic defensive driving courses, and that was before the state started offering it online (though I am told that is boring too).

I recently had another fender bender (this time in an old Subaru Forester, the type that was made smaller than what they currently make). I think it happened in April. The police found neither of us at fault because we were both turning left. However, the lady who hit me kept saying it was her fault because the sun was in her eyes (it is at a bad slant at that time of the morning the direction she was facing; I had to drive my daughter to school in that direction every morning, so I definitely knew). I didn't see her in the store parking lot turning left, and I always check that grocery store for turning vehicles when I leave to turn (especially left) from the pharmacy I was at. It only did surface damage to my car and just left a paint streak on her giant truck. Neither of us had airbag deployment or anything because it was a very slow crash. Still, it upset me a lot. I took extra Klonopin & my full dose of Tizanadine to calm down from that one.

I even got very upset when the police ticketed me over 10 years ago after a new driving law was passed in the state (having to slow down to under 20 mph under the speed limit or switch lanes when driving by a stopped police car with the red & blue lights running). It was a driving sting. I didn't even know about the law because I'd been busy finishing writing my last part on a publication paper on my Masters of Science degree (and proofreading it as I was the only native English speaker in the lab; the others on the paper were Greek, Russian, and Pakastani). I hadn't been caught up watching the news on the TV or listening to the car radio, driving places, and I wasn't in the habit of going to Google news or any website for the local news stations in Houston. I couldn't talk or cry my way out of the ticket; the officer was mean (I suspect he had a quota too), and that time we lived close enough I could take comedy defensive driving to get the ticket off my driving record, but even that got boring because there were certain road laws and stuff the instructor was require to cover. Even THAT incident upset me a ton.

I agree with the others about getting checked out at the ER to document your physical status and battle with the insurance company too (as hard & frustrating as it always is).

While I have PTSD from sexual abuse and coming close to being an accidental shooting victim (guy aiming at girlfriend's apartment below mine, shooting out my glass balcony door from the parking lot because his aim was off; I don't know, maybe he was drunk or on drugs too), and nearly dying from a perforated ulcer. I have read that outside of war, car accidents are one of the biggest causes of PTSD. Do you have a pdoc and/or tdoc you can discuss this with? If so, I think you should phone them up immediately (or their office) and say you need an appointment urgently. Flashbacks are horrible.

I do feel on the road to not be able to take care of myself but I have to be strong for my mother. I've moved up my pdoc appointment. We'll see what she says. There are times when I wish I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I already suffered from anxiety, includign around driving, so my anxiety is way up. I want to be able to take care of myself before this gets worse, before I have an episode, or jsut run of the mill, well, not being able to take care of myself.

If I were to go IP, the problem is that I work in healthcare at the best hospital in the area, and I'd want to go IP there. But I have collegues who sometimes work in the psych ward and then I'd have no priviacy. Assuming they don't tell others, which they shoudn't I at least wouldn't have provacy from that person.

I'll figure out with my pdoc if I need to go IP. I hopefully will see her soon. Thanks.

I spoke to insruance and they're already paying for my messed up car and for my rental. I nkow they will pay for medical care as well. I might go to the ER. I would have to wait hours there, though. We'll see. But my insurance is already paying for everything else.

I understand your concerns and went through something similar. I was working in a small community hospital and had to go to the ER (more than once) for BP issues (and to be transferred via ambulance to a larger facility that had a psych department). My office in that hospital was 20 feet from the ER doors, so I knew everybody there. Literally. Even the guy who came around with meal trays. Several nurses and even the manager of the ER made special efforts to come into my room to offer support. I was mortified at first, but...what can you expect? HIPAA should prevent this, but...come on...people talk. I just dealt with it. I think I got above-average treatment (they kept asking if they could get me more coffee or water or just wanted company), and that was pretty cool. The ER doc said, "...since we're colleagues I want to make sure you're getting the care to which you're entitled." Who? Me? Your colleague? Wow.

Who knows? Maybe you'll make life more interesting for them. Who really cares who knows? YOU come first.

Just an update: my pdoc is referring me to a T. To deal with what's going on with my mother as well as the car accident. I told her I desperately need someone to talk to. To cry with. Someone who will hopefully understand me.

My insurance says they'll pay for it since it has to do with the accident, but some providers don't like all the paperwork and what not that goes into these things. If that's the case, I'm just going to use my insurance. They will then probably send me something about getting my insurance to pay for it, but at least I'll get in to see a therapist. I hope. I really really hope. I need it so bad.

I haven't gone for years because I've been afraid it would conflict with work, but it has become worth it, if not imperative. Thank you all for the well-wishing.

Best wishes! You're doing the right thing. Thanks for the update, and keep posting.

Also, if going IP becomes necessary, even that isn't the end of the world.