[Movingon69]

Last night right before I went to sleep last night I just broke down and had a huge cry. I woke up today feeling "normal". I don't think I'm depressed. I felt like I was mourning the loss of some of things related to BP and decisions I have to make in order to be better.

Has anyone else went through a mourning stage that wasn't related to depression?

[Moose72]

Yes. When my uncle and grandmother died within months of each other I mourned their losses. I was not depressed. I think they are separate things. If I were already in a depressive episode it might be difficult to distinguish I agree.

Sometimes I have difficulty distinguishing the two. They are separate entities, of course, but they can co-occur under certain conditions. Furthermore, you can have delayed depression that is connected to the mourning. It's a very, very grey area.

So I can't say one way or another, if that makes sense. But I know that suicidal thoughts for me are indicative of depression rather than grief. So if I have suicidal thoughts, it's either (1) depression, or (2) depression and grief. That's when I know it's time for a medication change. Otherwise, I try to work with my therapist to see what she thinks. Sometimes grief can't be handled with medication and instead is handled through coping mechanisms.

[Blueberrybook]

Are you mourning for the loss of someone in your life? Maybe not even death, just someone moving away, a lost friendship?

I haven't had these feelings with BP (though it is my understanding that while BP may get better with treatment, it is there lifelong), but I have with anorexia. It was so tied up with my identity of myself. I mourned the loss of it HARD (and that's even without losing the stupid eating disorder 100%). But maybe it was the super low weights, the clothing sizes from the childrens' sections even though I was in my 20s. Crazy thing to mourn, but I did. I felt lost too, like who was I, if I wasn't the skinniest girl in the room, the person with the obvious case of anorexia? I had to figure out who I was, and that wasn't easy.

[*Laurie*]

Yes! And it seems like pulling teeth to communicate this to my pdoc. In the past 15 years I have lost many family members, a baby, and so many precious pets. Of course I'm grieving those losses. It's not organic depression, it's a normal reaction to abnormal situational circumstances.

[Unrigged64072835]

For me mourning was triggered by the loss. Depression can come with or without a trigger.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Movingon69

Last night right before I went to sleep last night I just broke down and had a huge cry. I woke up today feeling "normal". I don't think I'm depressed. I felt like I was mourning the loss of some of things related to BP and decisions I have to make in order to be better.

Has anyone else went through a mourning stage that wasn't related to depression?

Yes!! I went through the entire grief process over a period of almost 3yrs mourning the loss of all things related to BP.

[tecomsin]

I was in a period of mourning, in addition to depression, after my initial diagnosis. I had a hard time accepting how devastating the diagnosis would turn out to be for me. Now it has been 10 years and I've accepted it.

[BipolaRNurse]

I lost my husband two years ago, and in many ways I'm still grieving. However, I know there's a difference between grief and depression, though sometimes it's hard to distinguish one from the other.

I also mourned when I was diagnosed with bipolar. I missed the woman I'd thought I was, and felt as if I'd lost my hopes and dreams. I didn't realize then that it didn't have to mean losing those things, only that my view of myself and my ambitions had to change. I've learned over the past six years that I'm still me, that I have to live within the limitations my illness has imposed on me, and that all will be well as long as I remember these things.

[Movingon69]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Are you mourning for the loss of someone in your life? Maybe not even death, just someone moving away, a lost friendship?

I haven't had these feelings with BP (though it is my understanding that while BP may get better with treatment, it is there lifelong), but I have with anorexia. It was so tied up with my identity of myself. I mourned the loss of it HARD (and that's even without losing the stupid eating disorder 100%). But maybe it was the super low weights, the clothing sizes from the childrens' sections even though I was in my 20s. Crazy thing to mourn, but I did. I felt lost too, like who was I, if I wasn't the skinniest girl in the room, the person with the obvious case of anorexia? I had to figure out who I was, and that wasn't easy.

No, not really. I'm taking a job that's going to be better for me and repairing my relationship, but it's not nearly as exciting as what I've done through my career. I'm mourning the loss of my a part of my professional self

The job is causing a move. We built my dream home two years ago. I'm mourning the loss of the house which I know is a bit silly.

I'm mourning the relationship with my kids that I've talked about adnauseum here.

There are reasons I chose to fight for my marriage but I had to sacrifice some things. I'm mourning the loss of that.

I'm much better now. My cry was very cathartic. So, I'm sure it was mourning and not depression.

[Movingon69]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I lost my husband two years ago, and in many ways I'm still grieving. However, I know there's a difference between grief and depression, though sometimes it's hard to distinguish one from the other.

I also mourned when I was diagnosed with bipolar. I missed the woman I'd thought I was, and felt as if I'd lost my hopes and dreams. I didn't realize then that it didn't have to mean losing those things, only that my view of myself and my ambitions had to change. I've learned over the past six years that I'm still me, that I have to live within the limitations my illness has imposed on me, and that all will be well as long as I remember these things.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your statetment about missing the woman I thought I was resonates with me. I went through that too. Everyone outside of the family thought I was Superwoman. Turns out I'm not.

Yes, I've done more mourning this past year than I should have. I lost my pet of 15 years, then my nephew whom I was close to committed suicide, then my therapist of over 5 years ended her practice, then my new therapist that I took an instant liking to had to move far away. I've also sort of mourned about my dad. He's still alive, but distant with my siblings and struggling with alcohol abuse. Another issue is that my husband wants to move to Europe. He's a European. It's because we can no longer really afford to live where we do (where I grew up) and need the security of Europe's benefits. I mourn what is happening in my country. It is becoming tragic.

We finally restored our deck two weeks ago, which is my favorite spot that we own. This past Saturday afternoon it caught fire because of linseed oil. All of our deck furniture is gone, too. Luckily our house was OK and no one was hurt. No deck this summer. We probably shouldn't even bother replacing the furniture, but will need to fix the deck.

[Movingon69]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Yes, I've done more mourning this past year than I should have. I lost my pet of 15 years, then my nephew whom I was close to committed suicide, then my therapist of over 5 years ended her practice, then my new therapist that I took an instant liking to had to move far away. I've also sort of mourned about my dad. He's still alive, but distant with my siblings and struggling with alcohol abuse. Another issue is that my husband wants to move to Europe. He's a European. It's because we can no longer really afford to live where we do (where I grew up) and need the security of Europe's benefits. I mourn what is happening in my country. It is becoming tragic.

We finally restored our deck two weeks ago, which is my favorite spot that we own. This past Saturday afternoon it caught fire because of linseed oil. All of our deck furniture is gone, too. Luckily our house was OK and no one was hurt. No deck this summer. We probably shouldn't even bother replacing the furniture, but will need to fix the deck.

WOW! That's a lot to take on for anyone.