[bizi]

thought I would start a new thread.

Hubby took Hattie to the vet and they said she was mildly dehydrated so they gave her subcutanious fluids. and medicated her with prednisone.
and ordered special food.
$350. ouch
but they are our babies.
bizi
I drank today 60 oz of miller light beer.

[bizi]

I also ate a big basket of fries...sigh
bizi

[bizi]

WE won trivia tonight, although I really couldnot answer any questions. The other members of our team won.
We gave them the $20 gift card to whole foods.
We had a cheese tray and split a pizza for dinner. I had a couple of drinks.
nice evening. So much for my diet.


I work tomorrow, going out of town, little town called Iota, LA.

Jeff has his big band concert/dance. The sky liners play at a club tomorrow night. It is a 20 piece jazz band, big band with a singer.
they have dances every other month thru out the year.
The players do it for the ove of music as it doesn't pay much.
I have seen them play several times before. The music all sounds the same so I won't go again unless I go with some one else.

my new shoes came in...not crazy about them.
they are boat shoes and I guess I am just going to have to break them in


bizi

[bizi]

when I drink I make poor food choices.....
I don't have enough will power to stop. Jeff doesn't think I have a problem.
he surprised me last night by going to Brazillion rodizio grill.
They slice meat off at your table. meat meat meat!!!!! buffet food table. We won't go back there. I thought the food had a weird taste, like msg or something.
expensive and never going back.
sigh
bizi
For lunch at sandras, jeff joined me at sandras.
I had grilled sea bass and chard and spinach red lentil soup. It was delicious!

Going to have chicken/asparagus for dinner tonight.
We were going to have that last night but the chicken had spoiled rotten. yuck.

I stopped off at a meat market to buy some more chicken.
I had a cancellation This afternoon. That is why I am able to post.
I have not posted on the forums, the other ones much because I don't feel like participating as much.
I need to reel in my computer usage.
sigh
bizi
I am so depressed about my weight 183.6, highest weight in a year. __________________

[bizi]

I am pretending to diet. eating and drinking freely.
not going to lose weight this way.
hubby is cooking tonight. an avocado stuffed with white cheddar cheese then wrapped in hamburger and then wrapped in bacon. they are huge! He put them on the grill and are cooking as I write.
For lunch I had a stuffed bell pepper, because the shrimp was way to salty I returned it to the kitchen at sandras...Swiss chard and fruit salad was lunch. so very good. hubby joined me.
During the summer it is so nice to have him join me for lunch.
Work day went well.
so good day.
bizi

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry you're depressed and the restaurant food was bad. Dinner tonight sounds wonderful and I don't even eat red meat.

[bizi]

I drank too much...went to bed/passed out early before washing my face or taking my meds.
woke up at 10;40 and took night meds/washed face and took 4 tums as my tummy is not too hot.
tried to drink 2 glasses of water but felt like that was a bad idea on my queasy stomach. I hope I don't end up getting sick.
I don't think it was the quantity of alcohol that I drank it was the timing.
I drank strong beers fast, in a short amount of time.

sigh
bizi
I thanked hubby for dinner. I hardly remember eating it.
I do remember it was delicious...I ate the whole thing, hubby did not. ________________

[bizi]

My thinking is off. It is hard to explain.
Admitting to myself that I am an alcoholic....some how I am going to prove it.
And just drink as much as I can The drinks that I drink are high alcohol content, that is where I got into trouble.
My thinking is wrong.
it is like "yes I can drink because I am an alcoholic"....like I am giving myself permission to drink.
Does that make any sense?
bizi

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by bizi

My thinking is off. It is hard to explain.
Admitting to myself that I am an alcoholic....some how I am going to prove it.
And just drink as much as I can The drinks that I drink are high alcohol content, that is where I got into trouble.
My thinking is wrong.
it is like "yes I can drink because I am an alcoholic"....like I am giving myself permission to drink.
Does that make any sense?
bizi

It does make sense but it is a dangerous way of thinking, which I think you know. I hope you find peace soon bizi!

[bizi]

chronic substance abuse is my official title on my GP notes.
which is a new way of saying alcoholic.
so I know that I am , it runs in my family.
I come by it honestly.
That is what my sister has said.
I just thought that my bipolar was out of whack.
guess I can't blame it on that.
sigh
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( bizi ))))))

Thinking of you.

WC

[bizi]

Thank you WC.
How are you doing sweetie?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

I am still trying!

You are loved just the way you are.
Thanks for letting us walk with you through your trials and discoveries.
We care very much about you!
You are loved.

WC

[bizi]

Thank you WC.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[*Laurie*]

I don't reply on your bizi threads too much, but I sure do enjoy reading them and I learn so much from you. (((HUG)))

[Victoria'smom]

I think BP makes addiction worse. Then addictions make BP worse. It's a horrible cycle. I'm sorry you're going through it.

[bizi]

Thank you Laurie and MM,
For the past 2 nights we have been cooking together for dinner because I bought the food delivery where they ship you all the ingredients and you prepare the meal. Sun basket is the company. Too expensive regular prices but we used the special deal for your first box. I have already canceled any more boxes.

This particular company uses all organic veggies and fruits.
Yesterdays meal was jerked chicken with a peach, fennel and cabbage salad.
We both liked that and it did not take too long to prepare.
tonight we cooked a steak with a arugula verde sauce for the steak and a side of zuchinni, feta and tomatoes and lime zest salad. WE both enjoyed this meal too. Although the steak was a bit chewy....
Both nights I had 2 beers and stopped even though we had more beers in the fridge, so that was good.
I think I can go with moderation at this point in my life.
Trivia tomorrow night....at whole foods in the bar.

Will see how I do.
Day at a time.
Better is better.
bizi

[bizi]

thank you.
I slept in late today 8;30...I like not having an 8;30 appointment because I hate having to set an alarm. AND I am not a morning person!!!!!

We will have dinner at whole foods tonight.

(it cost us $42 instead of $72 for 6 meals)

Then we have one more meal from the kit. IT is lamb burgers so that will be interesting, we will have that tomorrow night.
I don't have to work tomorrow!...I have billing to do so that is work but I can do that anytime as we don't have any plans for tomorrow as of yet, or I can do it sunday while I do laundry.
Must finish getting ready for work, busy day...I am thankful for my blessings.
bizi

[bizi]

WE cooked our last meal tonight:
Moroccan lamb merguez patties with warm carrot salad topped with roasted almond and baharat seasoning.

It was delicious!

This was the most involved recipe and was worth the effort.
Too bad we can't afford to do this again.

bizi

[wildflowerchild25]

I wish I could afford those meal kits. I feel like it would help me cook more if I didn’t have to plan recipes and get the ingredients myself. But I’m also a picky eater and I don’t like many meats so it would be a wast for me.