[99fairies]

I keep thinking...which would be better, to have a sick mom or no mom. I know I'm screwing them without a fun outgoing mom. who who likes to take them for ice cream. But I just cant right now. I feel so bad for them and sometimes wish I was out of the picture so my kids can have have a healthy mom. No doubt. This will be pulled.

[MtnTime2896]

Coming from someone with a sick mom who almost lost her: Sick mom over no mom. It's no contest. Sickness or not, the love from my mom can never be replaced (nor would I want it to) and living without it would've destroyed me.

You obviously love your kids and I'm sure your kids know that. They're going to need you.

Can you phone your psychiatrist and inform them about what's going on with you?

[Victoria'smom]

I struggle a lot with this. They don't deserve a sick mom but that's what they have. Truthfully all mom's have their own ****. We just happen to have a name for it and we're working on it. We apologies. We teach them to be compassionate, to own their **** and not make excuses. To ask for help and not fear looking weak. That a person can make it and fail and make it again.

So no they're not better off without us, even when we think they would be.

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I struggle a lot with this. They don't deserve a sick mom but that's what they have. Truthfully all mom's have their own ****. We just happen to have a name for it and we're working on it. We apologies. We teach them to be compassionate, to own their **** and not make excuses. To ask for help and not fear looking weak. That a person can make it and fail and make it again.

So no they're not better off without us, even when we think they would be.

This is spot on. Kids are more resilient than we think, and coming from the perspective of a mom whose kids are all long grown, I can tell you that they're better off with a mom than without one. It's hard to see when you're so deeply into the misery, but trust me...one day you'll be glad you stuck it out. I promise.

[bpktvikesfan]

I had my first psychotic experience when my kids were young and i have been working to stay stable since. In talking to my now adult children i have learned they love me and even though there were bad times they remember the good times too. Your kids are blessed to have a parent that loves them with all of your heart and they will soon understand that you are doing your best. Good luck to you and hang in there

Good replies. Also to consider is that kids are considerably more likely to sui if a parent does. I'm sure you wouldn't want that. It's what keeps me from it. Hold tight. You're far more valuable than your mind is telling you right now.

[SorryShaped]

I feel extreme guilt over every time I tried to give my kids the easy way from me. They would much rather I were sick than dead.

[yellow_fleurs]

I think it would be devastating for them to lose a mom they loved and it would affect them more than you not always being happy or stable. If someone is so sick that their kid's basic needs are not met then I think they may need more help to fill that gap, but that doesn't mean completely leaving their lives forever.

[99fairies]

Thanks everyone, I agree with you all.

[Blueberrybook]

I often feel my daughter got the short end of the stick getting me as a mother. Still, I think she is better off having a mom with psych issues than no mom at all.

When I was severely depressed and agoraphobic I could hardly get off the couch. We watched a lot of movies together. I felt like the worst mother in the world. Then I cut myself some slack. Any other type of illness would feel justified. Why not mental illness?

My kids and I talk openly about it. They know that I do the best that I can. That's all any parent can do. Love them like crazy and do the best you can. The rest is not so important.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl2

When I was severely depressed and agoraphobic I could hardly get off the couch. We watched a lot of movies together. I felt like the worst mother in the world. Then I cut myself some slack. Any other type of illness would feel justified. Why not mental illness?

My kids and I talk openly about it. They know that I do the best that I can. That's all any parent can do. Love them like crazy and do the best you can. The rest is not so important.

I'm just curious. How old are your kids that you feel you can talk to them about it? I have said a little to my daughter (10.5 years old). She knows I have bipolar disorder which can make me really sad sometimes and very happy others. She knows I have anxiety issues and can get panic attacks. And she know I take medication for it. But we don't really discuss it. Then again, she only really wants to talk about something tough when she initiates the conversation, so maybe she'll want to talk more when she's ready, and I just have to wait for her to open the conversation.

[Unrigged64072835]

I was the only parent my daughter had for most of her life. For a lot of her life I was the only thing that kept her from breaking down, even with my own issues. If I died she would be devastated.

I (eventually) modeled for her how to handle my mental illness. She in turn gets her own help for hers. She's more compassionate for those who are struggling among her friends.

So, definitely sick mom over no mom.

[~Christina]

Sick mom over no mom ..

My daughter has Bipolar if I took myself out it would increase the chance of her doing same by 50%. I would never want her to consider it.

[Victoria'smom]

How old are your kids that you feel you can talk to them about it? We've always have talked to our son about our mental health issues and how he needs to come to us if he has any issues. How that's really really important. It went from head boo-boos, to bipolar, to what is bipolar and how does it effect you? He knows I get too angry, too happy, too busy, and too overwhelmed. As he got older picked up on me hearing voices, paranoia, disorganized speech. He's use to my low energy. We've had discussions about suicide when he's brought it up. When I've been hospitalized all he knew is I needed my meds changed fast but I don't see the regular dr for awhile. It's a very open discussion sometimes daily other times every couple of months.

[UpDownAround]

They definitely want you in their lives, not just their memories.

[Tucson]

I took my daughter to a meeting with my pdoc. He explained to her my MI. I do not remember her age, but she was in grade school at the time.

[pirilin]

My Father, GRHS, killed himself. The story of suicide in his family is rampant.
Ther is a saying that we The V.....s, die when we want to. Not when we have to.
I fully understand his decision. He had nothing to explain.

With that said, I think man is himself and his circunstances.
You are not remotely near of what he was going thru.

My Mother GRHS, used to tount me with the "plans" she had. At 101 years old.
Until one day that she got me in one of my worst moods.
I told her: Who the hell are you to take my Mother away from me!!!.
She never brought up the subject again.
At the end, I understood that she was tired of living as an invalid.
Even thought her mind was way sharper than mine. And that your.
At 102 and a 1/2, she refused a blood transfusion. That would have extended her life years.
Her four sisters passed the 100 mark easily. One died at 111.
I did everything in my power to convince her. Even threaten of commiting sui. I said sui, because mine wasn't real. And she new it.
It was selfish of me trying to keep her alive. Even if she was strong as an ox. Never to any pills for anything. Not even aspirin.
I had to let her go. I wasn't the one in the wheelchair.
I still believe she killed herself refusing the transfusion. But it is debatable.

A Mother and a Father are the most sacred possesion a child can have. Don't mess with that.

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl2

When I was severely depressed and agoraphobic I could hardly get off the couch. We watched a lot of movies together. I felt like the worst mother in the world. Then I cut myself some slack. Any other type of illness would feel justified. Why not mental illness?

My kids and I talk openly about it. They know that I do the best that I can. That's all any parent can do. Love them like crazy and do the best you can. The rest is not so important.

My kids are 7-11. They saw me taking my meds when camping last year and asked me what they were for. Their school also has a hats for mental health day. We talk about it whenever it comes up. My kids and I talk about anything and everything. My answers are based on their age. Simple honesty and answering their questions. The hardest question I've got so far was: why do people kill themselves. That one actually came not from a mental health discussion, but we went through it.