Yesterday I did a most incredible amount of work around the house. More work than I've done in a single day since...well, I was hypomanic. But I got tired early after taking my evening meds, and did sleep. I woke up early with very good energy, and must admit I started diving into major projects again. I mean, micro cleaning projects such as cleaning every door, door nob, window, front door, switch plate, rug wall trim, you name it. This is the e-mail I sent to hubby:

Subject: Cleaning machine

For some reason I've turned into a cleaning machine again. Don't worry. Nothing is "up" though I do have more energy and motivation lately. In addition to thoroughly cleaning absolutely everything in the kitchen that rarely gets cleaned, I cleaned....yada yada yada on and on.'

After the above, I drove to the pharmacy, walked around town, went to one grocery store, then another, came home and started unloading the groceries...then the phone rang. It was one of my prospective new therapists telling me I totally forgot the 12 noon appointment. She asked me how/why I did that. I was like "Umm, Oh my! I don't think my head is on straight. I totally am in some other world." I said a lot more, then she said she could see me at 3 pm. I told her I had to shove everything in the fridge quickly, but could get there in time. I did so in like 60 seconds and ran to my car and started on my way. Then I noticed my car clock said 1:45 pm. I was like "What's going on?" Then I didn't know if she had actually said 3 pm, so I called her. Luckily she answered and confirmed it was for 3 pm. I told her I was on my way (15 mins away), but would stop and eat. I hadn't eaten at that time. En route I picked up a sandwich and drink from Wawa and ate at a picnic table near her. I called my husband and told him that I may actually indeed be "up". He said he is sure I am. I told him I planned to tell this therapist that I would no longer be seeing her anymore. Hubby told me to hold off, so I did.

This therapist said she thought I was hypomanic, too.

I thought I was getting better at recognizing my oncoming hypomanic, but it's not always so easy. It kind of pisses me off a little that it requires hypomania for me to be so productive as yesterday and today. Why can't I be as productive when I'm "stable"? That really pisses me off!

Anyway, I will call her on Wednesday and Thursday and cancel my upcoming appointment with her and give her some kind of excuse why I'm ending my treatment with her. I was thinking about saying that an old IOP therapist finally got back to me saying I was at the top of her waiting list for private therapy. That's a total lie, though. My old therapist said I should rather tell her that it is not working out because I just "have a feeling" that the relationship is not working the way I want. Do you like her suggestion? I think that would lead to more questions/defense. My "lie" idea is more final and less rejecting.

The truth is, I have been seeing two prospective therapists for the last 5 weeks. I like the other therapist better than the one I saw today. I finally want to cut it down to just the one.

[Blueberrybook]

Yeah, it definitely sounds like hypomania. I would stick with the therapist you like better. Have you called your pdoc about it?

[Miss Laura]

I'm like you I never can "catch" the symptoms of hypo and mania until I'm psychotic then I'm like s$$$ I need help. Saying that not taking my meds doesn't help. I wish I could stay on them but I can't

Originally Posted by cln1812

Yeah, it definitely sounds like hypomania. I would stick with the therapist you like better. Have you called your pdoc about it?

I wish I could I talk to my beloved psychiatrist. He's been on an extended vacation. I don't see him until August 8th. His vacation will be a total of 5 weeks. He is not taking or listening to calls. He has a substitute that I wouldn't talk to about this since I don't know them. I did talk to my old therapist about this. She agreed with me on my choice.

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I'm like you I never can "catch" the symptoms of hypo and mania until I'm psychotic then I'm like s$$$ I need help. Saying that not taking my meds doesn't help. I wish I could stay on them but I can't

That's rough that you're unable to nip it by the bud earlier! I completely understand. I've grown to catch it earlier most of the time. I wasn't able to, though, this past May. I became psychotic in both London Heathrow airport and my local International airport on my way home from Portugal. My husband was seriously upset. He even cried on the airplane. Luckily they let me on the plane and didn't arrest me in customs. It was a close call.

Right now I'm just hypo. I took some "prn" Seroquel. I don't want it to progress. That does me no good at all.

[Tucson]

I would not make any decision until you are stable. Once you are through this hypomania, then I think you can decide. Why the hurry?

[Miss Laura]

I don't have a prn they won't give me one for some reason. I just need to learn to stay on my meds. I'm able to as I've been on them a year and a half. But for the last 3 years I've been on and off them like a yo yo. I just cantvstay on them and my anxieties are so high I can't function but hey ho. I just live with it as I have to wish a prn would take it all away though

[UpDownAround]

I have false alarms or maybe "clipped" highs from the lamictal doing its job because I am trying to monitor myself so closely. Same with lows. It kind of sucks some times to worry when I am feeling good and finally figure out it is just good vibes that most people would be happy about.

Thanks, everyone!

This morning I feel good, but not as charged up as yesterday and the day before. It's possible my mood and energy levels will rise as the day goes on. Or maybe not.

My med mix is pretty good nowadays, butI do have these intermittent mood spurts (and dips). Sometimes they last anywhere from 1/2 day to a few days, making them not quite official episodes. Or they'll last several days, but my evening meds helo with sleep sufficiently that with a prn, they don't always fully progress. The danger for me is usually when active (or very inactive) days go on too long. Then my moods head full blown. Today I have few responsibilities.

[*Laurie*]

I think it's so wise that you posted what you're going through with hypomania. In my experience, just writing (or typing) about the situation is helpful, plus you're getting needed support.

As for the therapists, I'm tending toward advising you to wait a bit until you feel more stable to deal with that. On the other hand, if you are absolutely sure about which therapist you want to keep seeing, it seems okay to go ahead and solidify that. I'm suggesting that because it might relieve some of your stress to make the decision and not have to continue thinking about it.

Hi Laurie. I certainly understand your suggestion about not rushing into dropping my second prospective new therapist while elevated in mood. But the second part of your post above is actually quite true. I had already firmly decided which of the two therapists I would pick about a week ago. The analytical part of me created a pro-con list for both and really put great thought into it. Though both therapists are nice, one had far more pros than the other and many fewer cons. That made me very sure. Nonetheless, I will wait until I am 100% stable/grounded to make the cancellation call.

By the way, my husband has been driving me over 1 hour every other Saturday to see my old therapist who moved. I adore my old therapist, but I just can't make that drive by myself or ask my husband to do it long-term. She is fully aware of my seeing prospective new therapists and agrees with my final choice fully.

[*Laurie*]

It sounds like you have a good, solid plan, Birdie.