Very compelling and apt video! You're a smart young man and able to talk with such sensitivity and nuance! I also suffer from a lot of self-hatred over stuff i did while manic -- so ashamed, so embarrassed. Mania really is like being on drugs -- you hit the nail on the head. I have social anxiety regarding dating but i can function socially otherwise. I'm 52 and on my own most of the time and just choose not to socialize. I'm so happy i'm not young anymore and don't feel that crushing need to be active socially. It's hard being young and feeling all that pressure to fit in. I don't envy you. But know that it does pass, as all things do.
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