[Blueberrybook]

Both H & I are very upset with our HOA. We do have a minor violation (a partially viewable side window AC unit, mostly out of view by what they now call a partial fence; H's first solution to the problem, which he views as a wall). This did not satisfy them. Now they say the AC & a partial fence are violations. Now, you cannot even tell this "eyesore" is an AC unit unless you look for it at one position on the street, it could be a vent built in to the garage unless you know it is a window unit AC.

The thing is we've had this AC unit in the garage door window for OVER 10 YEARS, and not a single person has complained about it, nor were we cited. The HOA got 2 power-hungry women (the only contactable members of the board as well) cruising the neighborhood, getting on people for minor infractions. They refuse to work with H on a cost effective solution for this problem; he stores many temperature sensitive things in the garage, which attaches to our house; we'd have no place to store those (as the garage is quite large).

Now, H has to go address the HOA board Oct. 15 and though he has a lot of valid points to argue especially in the vagueness of how this rule is written in the HOA deed restrictions & enforcement, but we have no idea what the board is going to decide.

Anyway, today's mail came. The HOA sent a return request signature required certified letter dealing with this. It caused me to immediately have a horrific panic attack & high anxiety I can't get rid of. I feel like throwing up. We can barely afford the mortgage let alone fix a 10 year old problem that only recently became an issue. The HOA letter just serves to further remind me of all our financial problems and depress me and make me very anxious.

My first desire was to write a nasty email to the 2 stupid HOA women about how happy they should be with their power and awesome use of it; they have caused a mom who nearly died in February and has anxiety issues & anorexia (of course, MI is just a stigma here though) such panic not even medication or breathing exercises will help even more distress, which will likely ruin a good deal or all of my day; I hope they are extremely happy & proud of themselves & feel they are doing their Christian duty being so hard on a family under extreme pressure. H has already explained we are financially strapped and buried under medical bills due to my ulcer situation in Feb. of this year and the awful health insurance given to teachers in Texas, but these women "sympathize" and have "tried to work with us" though not really. However, I did not send any email even though I wanted to and did not write a nasty post about the HOA on Nextdoor (my 2nd inclination).

This stupid HOA thing is going to be the undoing of me yet, and it is stressing out H too. Panic attack & anxiety will not go away. Now, I'm not going to accomplish much today until I get control of the stupid anxiety, which God knows how long will take. I took my anxiety meds early today along with low dose Seroquel, but no help, I'm so anxious & depressed. I'm going to lie down, get some chamomile tea, hope breathing lavender & doing a mindless tablet game will help, wish I could nap, but I don't think so.

I always try to remind myself there are people so much worse off than I, mentally & physically, and even if we lose our home, family will catch us and give us a place to stay, could be with my grandmother, my parents (as a last resort), a falling apart but semi-functional un-airconditioned farm house on land my father inherited when my grandparents passed, but my parents can't sell the farm, 80 some odd acres because selling it is their retirement once my father can't work (my father will work until he can't because of his weird personality I know), but his parents died of long diseases, Alzheimers & Parkinsons), moving in with my sister in the Dallas area (most likely), maybe as a last resort, moving out to California if H can patch the rift with his sister (50-50 odds on that, I think). And the longer my parents can hold off selling the farm, the better. Oil companies have confirmed there is oil on the land but too deep to make it worth the effort to reach it for now, but someday, who knows? So we wouldn't go homeless, though we would lose a lot of possessions, but end the end, they are just things outside of our wedding album and pictures of my daughter, a few bits of jewelry & a watch H inherited from his grandparents (more sentimental than valuable), but still I worry and worry and worry.

Possible trigger:

The more I worry, the more I dissociate because God, my life sucks a lot even though I know it could suck even more. There are many times like now I wish that ulcer had killed me or that I'd randomly died in my sleep last night (natural causes, not suicidal, but not exactly I'm glad I'm still alive because I'm not glad about it.)

I'm safe, no worries there. Not going to do anything except possibly take 1 more 1 mg prescribed Klonopin (pdoc has told me 1 at a time, but 2 if I need to). Probably make chamomile tea, and hope to God I can get myself grounded.

[luvyrself]

Stop making cbd oil in yr garage! Please try to laugh! Maybe you could picture yourself putting this problem in a neat pkg and leaving it in yr husbands care. Sometimes a calm mans logical approach goes a long way w the ladies. Maybe one of yr neighbors knows them personally and knows how to defuse them. Has to be more than 2 on the board. He can take snacks and drinks to the mtg, recruit a long time resident to go w him... even a good old boy attorney who lives there and can sweet talk them... I ran the board of a tiny hoa in LA. Had some awesome stories like preparations in case the post Rodney king riots flared up near us, taking yrs to drive out a drug dealer. Those women really need to get a life. Maybe they could raise some money for the schools. I’m trying to calm you. You seem to be applying many coping skills. Hugs!

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by luvyrself

Those women really need to get a life. Maybe they could raise some money for the schools. I’m trying to calm you. You seem to be applying many coping skills. Hugs!

I completely agree. They should help the schools, or OMG, here’s a thought...why don’t they do some actual good and help the families in our subdivision still dealing with issues from Hurricane Harvey instead of driving around doing random “sweeps” to spot every minor infraction? There are still people in this subdivision dealing with Harvey issues. Worse, these women are apparently even paid to do this by the HOA.

Thanks for trying to cheer me up though.

[~Christina]

This is why I live on acres of land and no neighbors except cows

I refuse to ever live in a HOA or even a subdivision...no no no

Sorry you have ANOTHER problem but that’s okay your still upright.

Maybe leaving your home would lead to something better suited for your family.

[MsSchadenfreude]

Wow....that sounds awful. Those ladies need to find something else to focus on! You did a good job not writing them a nasty email. It would be tempting, but not help your case, I'm sure.

I've never lived in an HOA as an adult, owning my own home, but did in my childhood in some of the states we lived in. I live in the woods.

[Crook32]

I will never live in an HOA again. They made me remove my storm door even though the previous owner put it up when the house was built. Then they wouldn’t approve my fence even though it was the only one you could get. Then they took away my reserved parking spaces and claimed they were never reserved. I hate them. They are just bored people who want to go on a power trip.

[pirilin]

HOAs are all intrusive. We have property in some.
Remember the board members are "volunteers", at least in ours, and they have to make money somehow.
Assesments, construction, remodeling, roofing. You name it, they get a cut.
This is the land of the dollar bill.

It's like a modern ghetto. Never again.