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Anonymous35014
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Default Oct 10, 2018 at 04:32 PM
  #1
I want to join a meetup and/or support group, but my anxiety is extremely high. I'm worried about how people will judge me, and I'm afraid I won't fit in because I'm too nervous to talk or get involved.. I don't know how to get over it, because I would absolutely looooove to join some of these social groups where they watch movies together, do physical activities, etc.. I just always push people away when I'm in an episode, or when I'm psychotic. Any ideas on what I could do?

DBSA would be so cool to join, except this one b*** who attends the meeting. I want nothing to do with her. She's treated me like trash in the past and she is truly an awful person. She has mutual friends with me on FB and I see some of her disgustingly hateful posts, which means she probably still treats people like trash. Also, her hatred has nothing to do with depression or bipolar in my opinion. (IDK if she even has bipolar or depression.)

She herself is trash and I don't want to be near her. She probably goes to NAMI, too, for all I know. I don't see the point in her going to support groups if she's the kind of person who treats people like trash.
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Default Oct 10, 2018 at 04:54 PM
  #2
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Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
I want to join a meetup and/or support group, but my anxiety is extremely high. I'm worried about how people will judge me, and I'm afraid I won't fit in because I'm too nervous to talk or get involved.. I don't know how to get over it, because I would absolutely looooove to join some of these social groups where they watch movies together, do physical activities, etc.. I just always push people away when I'm in an episode, or when I'm psychotic. Any ideas on what I could do?

DBSA would be so cool to join, except this one b*** who attends the meeting. I want nothing to do with her. She's treated me like trash in the past and she is truly an awful person. She has mutual friends with me on FB and I see some of her disgustingly hateful posts, which means she probably still treats people like trash. Also, her hatred has nothing to do with depression or bipolar in my opinion. (IDK if she even has bipolar or depression.)

She herself is trash and I don't want to be near her. She probably goes to NAMI, too, for all I know. I don't see the point in her going to support groups if she's the kind of person who treats people like trash.
I recently joined several meet-ups and my anxiety was high and I had the same fears you do. I took someone with me the first few times and now feel comfortable enough to go alone. Is there anybody you could take the first couple of times?

I’m sorry that awful person is in the DBSA support group. I don’t know a way around that right off.

Good luck with meet ups and support groups. They (meet ups) have been helpful to me.
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Default Oct 10, 2018 at 06:05 PM
  #3
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Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
I want to join a meetup and/or support group, but my anxiety is extremely high. I'm worried about how people will judge me, and I'm afraid I won't fit in because I'm too nervous to talk or get involved.. I don't know how to get over it, because I would absolutely looooove to join some of these social groups where they watch movies together, do physical activities, etc.. I just always push people away when I'm in an episode, or when I'm psychotic. Any ideas on what I could do?

DBSA would be so cool to join, except this one b*** who attends the meeting. I want nothing to do with her. She's treated me like trash in the past and she is truly an awful person. She has mutual friends with me on FB and I see some of her disgustingly hateful posts, which means she probably still treats people like trash. Also, her hatred has nothing to do with depression or bipolar in my opinion. (IDK if she even has bipolar or depression.)

She herself is trash and I don't want to be near her. She probably goes to NAMI, too, for all I know. I don't see the point in her going to support groups if she's the kind of person who treats people like trash.

Issues with people at meetings are concerns. I've been to DBSA meetings many times. During some periods they were great, and sometimes there was a person that triggered me too much. Perhaps I even annoyed someone at some point. People do come and go. Maybe you could ask the main leader to let you know if that woman has been absent for a while. Or, does that DBSA meeting break up into two groups after the main announcements? Mine was often so well attended that they split up. If they do, you can always go to the split up group that she's not in.


I've never checked out Meetups, but I've seen that they do exist in my area.
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Default Oct 11, 2018 at 03:24 PM
  #4
Same with me. I absolutely hate meeting new people too. I was dragged around to AA meetings during one psych hospitalization. Considering I don't drink alcohol, have never drunk more than 1 glass of wine with a host at dinner maybe 5 times in my life, it was pretty pointless. And I have never done illegal drugs at all, don't smoke either.

There is a depression/bipolar group that meets at a church nearby in the evening, not sure if it is weekly, biweekly, monthly and moderated by a licensed therapist. I want try this group, and I don't; I'm scared. I have even quit going to my book club group. Every group I try - mom's groups, PTO, etc. I just feel so disconnected, like it has no point for me. I can't connect to other people.

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Default Oct 11, 2018 at 03:28 PM
  #5
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Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
I want to join a meetup and/or support group, but my anxiety is extremely high. I'm worried about how people will judge me, and I'm afraid I won't fit in because I'm too nervous to talk or get involved.. I don't know how to get over it, because I would absolutely looooove to join some of these social groups where they watch movies together, do physical activities, etc.. I just always push people away when I'm in an episode, or when I'm psychotic. Any ideas on what I could do?

DBSA would be so cool to join, except this one b*** who attends the meeting. I want nothing to do with her. She's treated me like trash in the past and she is truly an awful person. She has mutual friends with me on FB and I see some of her disgustingly hateful posts, which means she probably still treats people like trash. Also, her hatred has nothing to do with depression or bipolar in my opinion. (IDK if she even has bipolar or depression.)

She herself is trash and I don't want to be near her. She probably goes to NAMI, too, for all I know. I don't see the point in her going to support groups if she's the kind of person who treats people like trash.
That person in the DBSA group sounds awful. Are these mutual FB friends people you really, really want to read their feeds or not? Can you PM the friends, tell them you are unfriending them, not their fault, another friend of theirs? Or are these people you couldn't and can't easily unfriend?

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two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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Heart Oct 11, 2018 at 03:41 PM
  #6
I go through this often, too, blue.

My social fears are largely related to self-esteem. Once I get there, I have a good time with people. It's getting me there that is the obstacle.

I think it's courageous of you to share and to start this thread.

I hope you can find some gatherings you can enjoy!

I am absolutely sure you will add a lot to the group!


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Default Oct 11, 2018 at 03:49 PM
  #7
Groups make me very anxious too..

I’m sorry about that person

((((( blue )))))

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Default Oct 11, 2018 at 05:28 PM
  #8
I am having that exact problem right now. Unfortunately for me i am an addict and used to go to AA meetings all the time. Then i had a breakdown got treatment in the hospital and i have yet to return to a meeting. One I am ashamed of relapsing but also my anxiety is so high I shake. Sending some group love to you. We will make it there on our own time and I bet we will be so proud of ourselves for going! Much love
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Default Oct 11, 2018 at 09:02 PM
  #9
Just show up. They won't eat you. And maybe it will be of mutual benefit. GO FER IT!!!.

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Heart Oct 11, 2018 at 11:02 PM
  #10
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Originally Posted by Lilmzsunshine View Post
I am having that exact problem right now. Unfortunately for me i am an addict and used to go to AA meetings all the time. Then i had a breakdown got treatment in the hospital and i have yet to return to a meeting. One I am ashamed of relapsing but also my anxiety is so high I shake. Sending some group love to you. We will make it there on our own time and I bet we will be so proud of ourselves for going! Much love
I am very sorry you feel "ashamed" for relapsing. We are each only human.
AA friends will most likely not judge you. If you find AA helpful, I hope you get back to meetings when you are ready. I happen to think everyone can profit greatly by working the AA program, regardless of whether or not they are an addict.

Much Love to You!

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Default Oct 12, 2018 at 11:28 AM
  #11
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Originally Posted by Lilmzsunshine View Post
I am having that exact problem right now. Unfortunately for me i am an addict and used to go to AA meetings all the time. Then i had a breakdown got treatment in the hospital and i have yet to return to a meeting. One I am ashamed of relapsing but also my anxiety is so high I shake. Sending some group love to you. We will make it there on our own time and I bet we will be so proud of ourselves for going! Much love
Don't be ashamed for relapsing. I am sure it happens a lot. I don't have a drug or alcohol problem, but I relapse with my ED as my go-to coping mechanism.

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I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost
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