High functioning

Earlier today someone called me a troll but really gave no reason for saying such. I could only figure it is because I am high functioning even at my worst. Both my T and pdoc have said I am the most high functioning patient they have and don’t know how I keep working. They want me on disability. When you are high functioning a lot of people discredit the pain you feel.

When You’re Too Functional to Have Your Mental Illness Taken Seriously | The Mighty

I am very sorry for the pain you feel.
I hope your pain is taken seriously by everyone, especially those important to you and important to your care.

This is a very important topic. Thank you for posting about this.


WC

I was high functioning - until I wasn't. When my psychiatrist suggested disability it was because I had lost that high functioning ability.

Nevertheless, your pain is real. Never doubt that.

my pdoc said he would sign disability papers when I was released from the hospital ... but I have to work ... or my family would be homeless ... my mgr says she sees " me struggling" even when I feel all is going well ... I am high functioning ... I also wrestle with depression ever day ... and the ocassional " stupid" day ... I was missing a lot of work but now I seem to have my meds fairly straightened out ...

I know they (managment) cuts me a lot of slack ... and there is still a need to skip a day now and then ... how I am really doing I have no idea ... as I resently learned I am having conversations that I have no memory of ...

we have lost several people lately so my stress level is rising every day ... I can feel it ... they are pushing harder and harder ... only my manager knows of my dx ... do the others discredit my issues ... to be honest I don't believe any of then care enough to even know I have issues ...

will I be able to keep working ... one day at a time seems the best policy ...

are you a troll ... do you have orange hair and live under a bridge ( yes that dates me) ... then you might be .... your pain can be very real reguardless of what anyone else says ... doing my best ... peace my friend ...

Tigger ..

Thanks for sharing. I am sorry you have felt your pain is discredited. I have sometimes felt this way. Although, while I may be doing well by societal standards in terms of work or school I may in fact not be functioning in all areas of my life--not doing chores, taking care of myself, etc.

Even when I have said I am really not doing well to friends they might think I am just feeling a bit down. Like this past year when in a pretty bad mixed episode, before I knew what it was, I had friends tell me I was probably just stressed about exams and I would feel better soon. Even my psychiatrist at first thought I was just having a little more anxiety starting an SSRI. It was kind of invalidating, as it was really a terrible experience. I kept trying to articulate the severity. I don't know if this had to do with being high functioning or not, but my friend said later she never would have known how much I was struggling.

I feel your frustration. I have a sibling who is also bipolar, but it is much more obvious with him. He’s also an alcoholic and I believe has some major personality issues, so it is very BAM right there/obvious. My family puts up with anything he does. They excuse all of his behavior and every mean and hurtful thing he does, because “he’s ill and doesn’t know any better.” Meanwhile, I have a remarkable similar set of bipolar symptoms (without the addiction), but anything I do that is not “normal” is viewed as me being immature or selfish. Like, the two of us can respond in the same exact way to the same situation, but for him, it’s because he’s mentally ill and can’t help it, for me, I am choosing to respond in ways in order to hurt them. WTF? And he’s always been way smarter than me, so it’s not like there is some intellectual component that people are accommodating for. It’s all because I can pass for normal from 8am to 4pm if I stay on my meds.

I so resent that "high functioning" people don't receive the services that severely mentally ill do. Why? Because so-called high functioning people can become SMI if we don't receive services.

Sorry I haven't read through the whole post. I just hate the phrase completely, and I'm not even talking bipolar here.

My daughter has a lot of sensory issues. Personally, I think she only just missed the autism spectrum on the side of Asperger's. If I got her a 504 label, the school would have to provide free occupational therapy for things that affect school issues: the noise of hand dryers causing the teachers to send her to the nurses restroom, her refusal to wear shorts or pants (this is going to be bad next year when she has to change for P.E.), etc. But she's very high functioning, the pediatrician told me as we were getting ready to leave after her wellness exam this past summer. And I was like but she's 10 and can't tie a bow, won't floss her own teeth, walks downstair in a very odd slow manner (delayed motor skills/fine motor skills) though if she wants to do it - control a computer mouse, write with a pencil, she can. Then, the pediatrician was like...um, maybe she's on the border, if you need I'll do the 504. H doesn't want the 504. It can mean anything, autism, dyslexia, mood disorders, ADHD, sensory issues and just doesn't want a teacher getting that label next to her name and pre-judging her. But I'd rather have had the label and occupational therapy. We cannot afford occupational therapy or any type of therapy as our finances are so bad, we will be lucky if we do not lose our house soon. H is a teacher, and the insurance the state of TX gives teachers is laughable, horrible high deductible that gets even worse when you read the fine print, and it's supposed to get even worse next school year.

So my daughter has sensory issues but is high functioning. She still has them. They don't go away because she is high functioning. Then, all my family tell me how I am parenting her wrong because if she's high functioning according to the doctor & school, she doesn't need therapy then. I must be making all sorts of parenting mistakes

I am also high functioning. It's a blessing to be able to come across as "normal," but it's also a curse when no one believes anything is wrong. People probably would never suspect I'm mentally ill, but my symptoms can get severe. I struggle so much and no one seems to notice or care.

I get called ‘high functioning’ a lot too if people know about my diagnosis. I think that they mean that I don’t ‘look’ MI, because I sure as heck don’t think that I function as well as a ‘normal’ person. I have been on disability since 2011. I have done some (very) part-time voluntary work for some of that time, and failed to complete a part-time MSc. I was also sectioned for 18 months, which thankfully ended just over a year ago. I struggle to look after myself - that poll about the longest time you’ve gone without bathing, where 5 days was the worst answer, made me laugh and laugh! My flat is a mess. I struggle to read, to eat and drink properly, have no friends, and hate to leave the house (though I do try to force myself most days).

So why am I called ‘high functioning’ then? Because I always look presentable. I understand what styles suit me and what colours go together, and I can accessorise. Because I wear a hat, I must be doing well seems to be the logic! Lol It doesn’t matter if the hat is to hide my greasy hair, or that I wear the same clothes for days because the outfit looks presentable. But I don’t change my outfit because the effort involved in putting together a new one is too great. I am a very reserved person and so you won’t see me distressed because I only do that in private. Etc.

I guess my point is that I think that ‘high functioning’ is a completely BS term. We shouldn’t be ranking suffering - ‘you don’t look MI, therefore everything is great in your life’. I’ve had Drs and even people at so-called support groups call me a liar because I didn’t fit their stereotype of someone with my experiences/diagnosis. So I think the whole thing is BS really.

I do worry about losing my disability and being seen as a fraud because no one can see inside my head, and so I do hide that information from people. But I always come back to that quote about being kind because everyone is fighting an unknown battle, whether they ‘look MI’ or not.



*Willow*

I used to be high-functioning. I worked long hours at very stressful jobs, raised four kids, paid bills, went to church, went grocery shopping and all that "normal" stuff that people do. I did it for years. Then I just kept getting worse, and worse, and I began to lose jobs to this stupid illness. I wound up losing everything---my home, my upper-middle-class lifestyle, and a good portion of my dignity.

Now I'm on disability, so I don't suppose you could say I'm high-functioning. But within my sphere of influence, I do quite well---I manage my finances, can deal with the phone, come and go as I please. It's because I lead a relatively low-stress life. Yet I know I would decompensate quickly if I tried to work, or if I had to deal with constant drama. I'm fine as long as I can maintain the status quo.

When I was at my worst I still thought I was high functioning but I wasn’t. My T and pdoc convinced me to go to the hospital and it probably saved my job. Although going 6 times in 2 years hurt my job I at least still have it.

I actually don't know what functionality I have... No one has told me. But I'd like to think that my mask is on 24/7

The older I've gotten the more I've come to realize that it's not so much my problem as it is the problem of living in a profoundly disturbed and psychotic society. I don't really believe in the concept of "high functioning" and "low functioning" people with mental health disorders, particularly bi-polar, but more like we having varying degrees of tolerance for the bs we've been surrounded by, or have accumulated over the years. Why on earth anyone would actually want to function normally in a world that is intent on destroying itself is beyond me... and it's gotten harder over the years to be square with that.