[Everyday12]

My daughter is 30,schizoaffective and bipolar. She is doing okay
My question is when she has ideas that are impossible, do I address it directly or wait till the idea passes.
Her idea at the moment involves moving to a tourist spot and selling t shirts. Nothing wrong with that except she doesn't have any skill set for that.
I tried to have her break the thought down in to small achievable pieces. Like maybe just get a job first.

[Mopey]

Originally Posted by Everyday12

My daughter is 30,schizoaffective and bipolar. She is doing okay
My question is when she has ideas that are impossible, do I address it directly or wait till the idea passes.
Her idea at the moment involves moving to a tourist spot and selling t shirts. Nothing wrong with that except she doesn't have any skill set for that.
I tried to have her break the thought down in to small achievable pieces. Like maybe just get a job first.

I'm no expert but that sounds pretty reasonable....

[Bipolarchic14]

I would not pop her bubble. If there is one great thing that comes from bipolar disorder, it is the flood of awesome ideas. Everyone has dreams to some extreme that may never come true. Having hopes and dreams helps take away some of the mental stress, not just for the mentally ill. I remember a time when I was going through a lot and I came up with this really “awesome” idea. My mother went right along with it and helped me create a strategy for developing a prototype. It gave me hope. Eventually when I came back down to earth I realized it was not unique enough to survive the market but the fact that she believed in me enough to go along with it means the world to me. Getting a job can be a daunting first baby step, but employment for the vast majority is essential. Are there any local jobs involving shirt embroidery and shirt printing? This way she can develop some skills in this. It might make the transition more doable. I worked for an embroidery shop in high school so there is no real skill set needed. Maybe help her look at equipment and go over the costs of obtaining the necessary equipment. Do some online exploring with her as to where she would like to operate a business. Go over the cost of real estate and the cost of obtaining a business license. Maybe discuss some marketing strategies. You get my point. So essentially, help her break it down with enthusiasm. If her medication does what it is suppose to, she will eventually realize it for herself or better yet, make it happen! Just a suggestion.

Instead of telling her she can't, why not support her and be her biggest fan. Help her line put a plan of small steps to work towards her goal. Either she will learn or she will decide it's not for her. I dont feel it's your place to limit her ambitions.

[Guiness187055]

Encourage her dreams if its meant to be then it's meant to be.

[Victoria'smom]

Support her. Maybe not move away but maybe online.

[Wonderfalls]

The "dreams" of someone who is manic can end up being dangerously expensive and heartbreaking too when everything falls apart, as it is likely to when they are well beyond realistic. T-shirt making doesn't sound completely crazy except even if you manage all the hurdles the market for souvenir t-shirts is overly crowded as it is.

On the other hand, she's not planning to fly to Botswana and open a commune. You should be able to help her find out about the t-shirt business without causing too much problems.

[sarahsweets]

I am not one of those people who think the grandiose flood of ideas during a manic episode are wonderful. In fact I am convinced that I operate halfway between normal and manic on a regular basis. unfortunately this has resulted in some bad financial moves and poor choices over the years. BUT I also do not believe in popping the bubble. I think steering the ship is better. My husband will do his best to guide me but not outright tell my I am full of it unless it was something harmful to our family's wellbeing.

I like the suggestions above that encourage a first steps approach. I think totally discouraging your daughter's idea is not helpful or even nice, even despite her mental health issues. How do you know her dreams would end in failure?

My husband told me a story about when he was a church youth group leader. He did activities with teens of all sorts. One teen always talked about how he wanted to be a famous actor in life. He had actually done some significant acting as a boy/teen. Apparently my husband was a wet blanket saying that his chances of success were next to zero. That was surely frustrating to hear for that teen, but the teen ignored such discouragement, though not all would. Only years later, that teen got great acting roles. He's received several nominations and awards, including an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in a major film.

[Everyday12]

Thanks, I am going with the small steps. Encouraging her to check out a local business that does screen printing shirts.
I hate being the person telling her "no" about everything. The mother /daughter thing is hard enough.

[MickeyCheeky]

I think it depends on what ideas she's getting, Everyday12. If they sound reasonable enough, you may try to follow her steps, help her and see how it goes. Maybe she will achieve her dreams, after all. Or maybe she won't, and that will be ok as well, and you'll be with her to advice her and support her when she needs to. In any case, I don't think just saying "no" is a good idea, unless it's necessary. Sending many hugs to you and your daughter

Originally Posted by Wonderfalls

The "dreams" of someone who is manic can end up being dangerously expensive and heartbreaking too when everything falls apart, as it is likely to when they are well beyond realistic. T-shirt making doesn't sound completely crazy except even if you manage all the hurdles the market for souvenir t-shirts is overly crowded as it is.

On the other hand, she's not planning to fly to Botswana and open a commune. You should be able to help her find out about the t-shirt business without causing too much problems.

Who said anything about manic? I reread the original post and didn't see anything. Do we automatically dismiss big dreams in someone with bipolar as only a symptom of their illness?

[Unrigged64072835]

I'd tell her the same I told my daughter, who wants to be an artist: pursue your dream, but have something to fall back on. She's now captioning calls for the hearing impaired; that's close to her fallback goal of interpreting for the deaf.