[Aurelius710]

I'm ruminating. Given the day I've had, I shouldn't be, but here we are. In my job search I got several applications in and had a few people ask for me specifically.

So, what am I thinking about. Where I've been, how badly that has been screwed up, and how badly I can screw it up going forward.

I'm thinking about the fact that I was fired in a contentious no-win situation and the one supervisor still standing is the one who stood to benefit the most from it. He didn't like me on a personal level towards the end and now, I'm hearing his voice trashing me as my reference, because let's face it, I can't not let them contact my previous employer. That would look like I'm hiding something. Or that I'm ashamed. ME. Not my boss. ME!

I'm thinking about the fact that the last time I lost my job, it took six years to find another one. I had help staying afloat, but needless to say, I don't want to repeat that.

Finally, I'm positively salivating over the fact that without financial aid from the university, I don't have money, which necessitates me looking for employment, which leads to these ruminations, which leads me to not be able to focus on my measly school work, which leads back to financial aid and the merry-go-rounds starts again! Yay.

All I need is financial stability until the end of the month. If I can get that, the cycle is broken. If not... I actually might go back to the hospital. I feel this weird crazed energy around me that I don't really want.

Different situation, but relatable. I really feel for you. Everything up in the air and looking for work are very stressful. (For me it's insurance and job hunting -- I have one, but am pretty ticked at them and need to change. Besides, it's a ridiculous commute for what it is. Besides being dreadfully boring, lol.)

Is there any chance you could list someone else there as your reference?

[Aurelius710]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Different situation, but relatable. I really feel for you. Everything up in the air and looking for work are very stressful. (For me it's insurance and job hunting -- I have one, but am pretty ticked at them and need to change. Besides, it's a ridiculous commute for what it is. Besides being dreadfully boring, lol.)

Is there any chance you could list someone else there as your reference?

Possible but awkward. He's the last man standing out of all of the supervisors I had there. The rest didn't necessarily leave, but they all stepped down and left the department. The others like me a lot more and I do use them for professional references, but it just makes it awkward. I could try.