Need Advice

Hello All, I am brand new to this forum. I came tonight in hopes of getting some advice on my oldest child. She was diagnosed 10 years ago. We had many ups and downs at first but then she got on medication which seemed to help.

After her graduation she moved and decided to no longer take her meds. She honestly has been doing extremely well the last few years. Then recently she met a new man. They moved in together with a month of knowing one another. She has been very stressed and he proposed to my dd a few weeks later. The holidays came up and we all got together. However I noticed she did not seem like herself. We all were playing cards and out of the blue she got upset and left the room. I checked on her and she was crying and so depressed and upset about everything in life. She had a lot to drink that night (her drinking has been out of control), so I chalked up her behaviour to that. The next day the same thing happened but this time she was mad at me. She brought up how I was a horrible Mother who completely messed her life up and she hates me. I was so confused, 2 minutes before this conversation we were saying how close we were and how we have become best friends through the years??? She continued to say all these crazy things of what I had done to her as a child that NEVER even happened. She blamed me for her childhood and adulthood problems. As I said before, none of what she was saying is the truth but in her mind she has convinced herself it’s the truth. She blames for everything bad in her life and doesn’t accept any responsibility for herself or actions.

I am wondering if this is common for someone who is bipolar? To blame the closest person in their life for their own issues? And secondly, can you go for a period of time not showing symptoms and then have them come back?

Thanks for listening, my heart is so broke tonight 💔

Bipolar can definitely seem to be in full remission for a while, even a long while, before re-appearing for some people. Blaming you for the things that are wrong in her life wouldn't necessarily be bipolar but it may be related to delusions or paranoia from the unmedicated bipolar. Or there may be another cause. She needs to see a psychiatrist (pdoc) and a therapist for evaluation and treatment. Is she willing to consider this?

Welcome to the forum hopeful1106!

I'm sorry you (and your daughter) are going through this.
I agree with BeyondtheRainbow. I hope your daughter will be open to going for an assessment/treatment.

Thank you for your responses. No she is not willing to speak to anyone and is in complete denial that she is bipolar. She is now not speaking to me at all. I honestly do not understand that the things she has said and how she truly believes them when they are so far from the truth. I mean 180 degrees from the truth.

I only recently heard of this here but there is something called 'false memories'

Quote:

false mem·o·ryDictionary result for false memory nounPSYCHOLOGY plural noun: false memories an apparent recollection of an event that did not actually occur, especially one of childhood sexual abuse arising from suggestion during psychotherapy. "false memory syndrome"

Do you think she could be experiencing this? I am bipolar and as a teen I blamed my mother for everything because deep down I knew she wouldn't leave me so she was "safe" to blame. I have never had an issue with false memories though.

I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through all of this, Hopeful1106 I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice in this thread. I'd suggest to try to follow it if you can. I'm not sure whether Bipolar could be the cause of her behavior or not. Does she see a therapist? Maybe that could help. She could learn new ways to cope with her feeling. You could both understand what's going on. I feel like it could be really helpful to her. I'm so sorry, it muste be so hard for you and for her. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for both of you. Just be there to support her, like you're already doing. Remind her that you love her. That's the most important thing that a mother can do. It seems like you really love her, and that's wonderful! You're a wonderful mother. I'm sure you'll get through this if you work together. Do you have a support system IRL? Any friend or family members that you can reach out to? You need all the help you can get, after all. Remember to take care of yourself as well. You can't fully take care of others if you don't take care of yourself first. Try to do something nice for yourself if you can. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. I hope your daughter will be able to get the help she needs and deserve. She deserves to get better and to feel good. She deserves to live a good life just like everyone else. I hope you'll both feel better soon. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this